The Forgetful Fiancee

While the baby napped, which he did a lot, she tackled the decor of her new home, eradicating Kevin's ugly bachelor theme. Kevin had told her she could do whatever she wanted, so she went hog-wild.

'What's this?' Kevin asked one evening when he got home from work.

'Berber carpet.' Tara realized she should have at least warned him. 'Stain-resistant – very important when you have kids.'

'What happened to my sofa?'

'It's in your office.' She bit her lip, wondering if she'd gone too far buying the sage-green sofa and matching chair, and the sage-and-clay striped love seat. Were the colors too girly? They would play in Chicago, but how about Hardyville?

Kevin sat in the chair. He bounced experimentally, then leaned back and nodded with satisfaction. 'Okay. What's for dinner?'

She breathed a sigh of relief. 'I started a pot of chili.' Most evenings, she and Kevin cooked dinner together. He'd turned into a good cook over the past year, probably out of necessity. No human being could endure the greasy food at the Hole-In-Your-Shoe Saloon seven nights a week.

'I'll make some corn bread to go with it.'

She smiled, then waited, as she did every evening, for him to ask about his son. If she was away from Andrew for even a few minutes, he was the first thing she asked about when she returned. But Kevin didn't, and it bothered her. A lot. There was something not quite normal about Kevin's attitude toward Andrew, but she couldn't figure out what it was. He seemed interested in the baby whenever they were in the same room, sometimes watching him like a hawk. But he wouldn't touch Andrew unless it was forced on him.

While Kevin changed out of his uniform, Andrew woke from his nap. Tara fed him then put him in a Snugli while she worked on the stock for the chili. Kevin, freshly showered and smelling like soap and clean clothes, entered the kitchen and started on corn bread batter.

'Debra thinks we should have the wedding reception at the VFW Hall,' Tara said. 'I thought we should have it here at the house. The weather will be nice, so we can spill out onto the deck. And of course, Cindy should play the music.'

Kevin froze. 'Cindy and her violin?'

'And maybe a couple of her chamber music friends. Not a good idea?'

'First off, the whole town will come to the wedding, whether we invite them or not, and the house isn't big enough. Second, they'll expect beer and barbecue and some real lively foot-stompin' music.'

'Then they'll just have to be crowded and disappointed.' But a second later she asked, 'Is that how everybody does weddings here?'

'Yup.'

She sighed. 'Oh, all right. I don't want everyone to think I'm putting on airs.'

She grabbed the jar of chili powder from the spice rack and realized it was empty. 'Shoot, we're out of chili powder. I'm going to run down to Debra's and borrow some.' She put Andrew in his playpen then grabbed her jacket from the hook by the garage door.

A look of alarm crossed Kevin's face. 'You're taking Andrew with you, right?'

She looked at Kevin like he was crazy. 'I'll be gone ten minutes. It would take me longer than that just to get him ready.'

'Then I'll go,' Kevin said.

'I haven't been out of the house all day,' she said, picking up his car keys from where he'd left them on the counter. 'I could use the fresh air.'

'In that case, why don't all three of us go. In fact, let's bag the chili. I'll take us out to Wild Bill's for pizza.'

She nailed him with a penetrating stare. 'I'll be ten minutes.' Then she turned and headed for the garage door.

'Wait!'

She stopped, turned. 'What is it?' Before he could answer, she realized the problem. Kevin did not want to stay with Andrew. 'Do you find your own son so repugnant?'

'God, Tara, it's not that.'

'It is that. You won't even touch him. I've been trying to deny it, but any fool can see the truth. You despise being a father. You're trying to do your duty, but you wish I'd never gotten pregnant.'

'No, you've got it wrong.'

But she'd worked herself up into a state, and she wasn't backing down. 'Well, I won't have it. I won't be a burden to any man, not even you, Kevin. I guess I should have taken you at your word when you said you never wanted children.'

They both stood there for a few moments, shocked at the words Tara had just spoken. And Tara realized that something from the previous year had broken through the barrier in her memory. The night she'd gone to tell Kevin she was pregnant. He'd passionately vowed that he would never bring a child into the world. And she'd left his apartment without telling him of her condition.

Other memories rushed through the crack in the dam created by the first. Then it all fell into place.

Kevin knew just by the look in Tara's eyes that she remembered. Watching the emotions that played across her face was like reading her thoughts – and boy, was he in trouble.

'I can explain,' he said quickly.

'Like hell you can. You lied to me. You and your aunt and, for all I know, the whole godforsaken town.'

'I had a good reason.'

'It couldn't possibly be good enough. I trusted you. Now you've destroyed that trust, and nothing can bring it back.'

Kevin couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'You want to talk about trust? And honesty? Oh, yeah, there's a good one. You were pregnant with my child, and you didn't even tell me about it.'

That took away some of her steam. 'You didn't want children, a fact you made abundantly clear the night we broke up. I made the decision to have the baby alone for your sake, not mine.'

'Then why did you change your mind?'

'I didn't, exactly. But Andrew was so precious, such a miracle…and he looks so much like you, sometimes. I thought I owed it to you to at least let you know the child existed. But I wasn't coming here to make up with you. Certainly not to marry you. And live here? In Hooterville? I don't think so.' She brushed past him and headed for the nursery.

Kevin started to follow her, then thought better of it. Maybe he ought to give her time to cool off.

Oh, who was he kidding? All the cooling-off time in the world wasn't going to fix this. If he could make her understand why he'd said those things about not wanting children…but he realized that to do so would require opening a box in his memory that had been locked up tight since he left Chicago. That was somewhere he just couldn't go, not if he wanted to maintain his sanity.

Chapter Six

After fleeing from her confrontation with Kevin, Tara took comfort in the refuge of her son's warm, cuddly body nestled in her arms. This was love, as pure as it came. Grown-up love, though, that was a lot more complicated. She loved Kevin. She couldn't stop loving him, no matter what he'd done.

She realized that, in his mind, Kevin could somehow justify the deceit he'd perpetrated. He sure hadn't pretended they were engaged out of a desire to be with his son. Maybe Debra had pressured him into 'doing the right thing.' Or perhaps he'd lied to her from some misguided notion that he knew what was best for Tara.

And maybe he did know, she thought glumly as she settled into a rocking chair with her sleeping child. These past couple of weeks had been some of the happiest of her life. As she'd settled into the rhythm of country living, she'd hardly given a thought to her business. Things at her design firm were probably in a shambles. And what about her bills, her bank accounts, all the pieces of her life she'd walked out on? She'd intended to be back home a week ago. Had Kevin even thought about that?