‘Look,’ he said, trying hard to figure how to placate her. She was breathing too fast. Her breasts were heaving with indignation and her face was flushed with fury. How to really mess up a proposal…He had to get this back on track. ‘Holly, we really need it.’
‘You know, I can’t figure out even that,’ she said. ‘You took me to bed when I was seventeen and that can’t be changed by anything we do now.’
‘No, but I can be seen as honourable,’ he told her. ‘If it’s only a matter of time before reporters talk to your mother then it has to be a fait accompli. When the first accusation comes I need to be able to say yes, it’s a shock that I fathered a son. I can’t understand why Holly didn’t tell me. We were romantic kids. However now I’ve found out, of course I’ll do the honourable thing. Luckily I’m single again, so I can give her my hand in marriage.’
‘She doesn’t want it,’ she snapped.
‘Why not?’ It was a harsh, loaded question and it brought the silence back. She stared across the table at him as if he were an alien-as if she’d never seen him before in her life.
‘Because I’m free,’ she managed at last and it was such an unexpected response that it was his turn to stare.
‘Pardon?’
She closed her eyes. ‘Okay, Andreas. I’m trying to get my head round this. You need to do the honourable thing. Marry me. But that means I’d be in the royal fishbowl.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘You know, when you used to tell me about your life back here, the money you had at your disposal, every indulgence, parties, women, luxury beyond belief, I wasn’t even jealous. You know what I thought? I thought poor little rich boy. Maybe that was even why I fell into bed with you. I felt sorry for you.’
‘Sorry,’ he said, astounded.
‘I’ve seen what can happen to royalty,’ she said. ‘It gives me the horrors. I want to walk down the street and buy a can of baked beans and a packet of Tim Tams for dinner, any time I want.’
‘Baked beans?’ The conversation had suddenly headed at a tangent he couldn’t follow. Candlelight. Fireflies. A soft warm wind. A wedding proposal. And the talk had turned to baked beans.
‘What would happen if you want baked beans for dinner?’ she demanded.
‘I wouldn’t,’ he said, revolted.
‘We’re playing make-believe here. Indulge me.’
‘I’d ask Sophia…’
‘Right. You’d order baked beans from your domestic staff. And Sophia would raise her eyebrows and say “What does Prince Andreas want with baked beans?” But of course your wish is her command so she’d write the royal shopping list and servants would go to one of those shops with the fancy insignia saying Suppliers to Royalty. And the shop assistants would have a chat about why you want baked beans and what are Tim Tams anyway, and when they find out then they’d say why doesn’t Prince Andreas buy local food. Maybe Aristo produces excellent chocolate cookies, so why aren’t you supporting local industry? Maybe it’d even make the papers.’
‘You’ve thought this all through,’ he said, puzzled. ‘You’ve thought about your life as a royal bride. Does that mean you’ve thought of marrying me before?’
She stared across the table at him and her expression changed. The anger was replaced with confusion.
‘How dare you?’ she whispered at last.
‘You have thought of marrying me?’
‘I carried your child for nine months. Of course I thought of marrying you. What woman wouldn’t? It was a fantasy solution to my problems. But it was only ever a fantasy and I got over it.’
‘So how long did you carry me in your heart?’
Her jaw dropped. ‘What?’
‘My investigators tell me there’s been no man for years.’
Her breath sucked in with fury. ‘Your investigators can go to hell.’
‘The locals say Adam’s death shattered you. Was part of that me? That I wasn’t there?’
‘Leave it,’ she whispered, but she might as well have yelled. She stood, holding onto the table with fingers that were clenched so hard her knuckles still showed white. ‘Of all the arrogant, conceited-’
‘We were in love.’ He rose, watching her steadily across the table. ‘We were in love, Holly.’
‘You don’t know what love is. You who never wrote…’ Her voice broke. ‘I hated you. I just hated…’ She gasped and pulled back from the table.
It was too much. He moved involuntarily, striding the few steps to her side before he realized he’d intended it, grasping her hands, holding her against him. She fought, wrenching away, but he held her regardless, holding her tight until he felt the fight go out of her. He felt her slump against him, defeated by the strength of her emotions.
The present disappeared. Suddenly nothing else mattered but that this was Holly. And he’d distressed her.
What was he doing, proposing marriage when the past was still between them? When he’d caused her so much pain.
He touched her hair with his lips, smelling the clean, citrussy fragrance of her. Feeling her palpable anguish.
‘Holly, I wish I’d known,’ he said softly into her hair. ‘I’m so sorry you were alone. And I so wish I’d known about Adam.’
‘He was…he was…’
‘I can imagine.’
‘You can’t,’ she said dully, the anger seemingly spent as anguish took over. ‘He was your son and you never knew him.’
He didn’t release her completely, but let her stand far enough apart so he could look down into her face.
‘I am sorry,’ he said again, for it was the only thing he could think of to say. It wasn’t enough. He knew it the moment the words were out of his mouth.
‘Why didn’t you write?’ she demanded.
‘I was marrying another woman,’ he said. ‘I was promised in marriage. That didn’t mean I didn’t think of you every day for years.’
‘Says you,’ she answered and he shook his head.
‘You must believe me, Holly.’
‘I must believe you so I’ll agree to do what you want now?’
‘Holly, this marriage…our need to make this right…it isn’t just for me and for my family.’
‘Isn’t it?’ Her voice was pure scorn. ‘I’d imagine King Zakari would make a very good king for both islands. The islands would be joined as one kingdom again. I expect you and your family would keep your fabulous wealth. So what’s the problem?’
‘Half our island could lose their livelihood,’ he said flatly, holding her wrists tighter still. ‘My father has tied the money in the island so close to our own fortune that if we’re no longer here then half the industry on Aristo will fail. I agree,’ he said as she opened her mouth to retort. ‘It’s a dreadful situation and given time we will be able to fix it. But time’s not on our side. We have to have a coronation and soon. If we can’t find the diamond then the people get to choose who rules them. Like you, they’ll say we wish to stay to feather our own nest. But it’s not true, Holly. We need to stay to keep the island financially stable.’
‘And you expect me to believe that so much that I’ll marry you.’
‘Many women…’ he said softly, changing his grip so she received the utmost semblance of tenderness he could manage. The utmost entreaty. ‘Many women would give their eye teeth to be a
