She grinned-and she saw the exact moment when Ben realised Benjy had been checking his pace as well, but only so he could put on a burst of speed at the end. Benjy’s small body surged ahead and suddenly Ben was left behind. His raw strength wasn’t enough to compensate for the lead he’d given Benjy. Benjy surfaced, glowing, laughing at Ben and then calling triumphantly to his mother.
‘He thought he had to give me a head start,’ he yelled to Lily. ‘So I won.’
‘More fool him. Race again,’ Lily decreed, so they did. This time Ben didn’t hold back. He used all his strength and all his skill-and he only just won.
‘You beat me,’ Benjy said, growing happier by the minute. ‘Mama can’t beat me. A daddy should be able to beat his kid.’
‘Then stop getting better,’ Ben growled, but, watching him, Lily saw his sudden flash of pride.
And then shock.
Up until then fatherhood had been some sort of abstract concept, she thought. Sure, he’d been shocked to learn of Benjy’s existence and then he’d been concerned about him, but this was something else. This child was his son-this little boy who had so much life ahead of him, who had so much potential to be proud of. Swimming was one tiny thing but there’d be so much more as he grew. Little and big. Lily watched as myriad emotions washed across Ben’s face and she wondered how he was going to handle this.
She thought how she’d felt as Kira had handed over her newborn son to her six years ago, and she saw those same emotions reflected now on Ben’s face.
‘Now we can make sand bombs,’ Benjy announced. ‘Can you make sand bombs? Don’t worry if you can’t ’cos I’ll teach you.’
It was a day of wonders. Benjy had a father, a father he could be proud of, and he intended to milk it for all it was worth.
‘If you’re leaving tomorrow, we have to hurry up,’ he told Ben. ‘I can teach you to fish. I’m a really good fisherman. Can you teach me to shoot with guns?’
That was a discordant note, but it didn’t spoil the day.
‘I’m a doctor, mate,’ Ben told his son. ‘I might wear army fatigues but I don’t shoot.’
‘You’d shoot if you had to?’
‘I won’t have to.’
Benjy thought about that and found it was acceptable. ‘OK, then. Can you ride a horse?’
The only bad part of the day was the discussion that went on after Ben examined Doug. Doug managed to hold Ben off until late afternoon, but finally Ben told him if he didn’t submit then he, Rosa, Lily and Benjy would subdue him by force. Doug didn’t smile, which was a measure of how frightened he really was, Lily thought, and when Ben came out of the bedroom after the examination his face confirmed those fears.
‘Hell, Rosa, how long has he had this level of pain?’
‘I don’t know.’ Rosa bit her lip, looking suddenly old. ‘Six months that he’s admitted to me. Maybe longer. He only admitted it to me when I found him in the kitchen one night looking grey and sick. He said it was indigestion but I didn’t believe him.’
‘But you didn’t insist he see a doctor.’
Rosa swallowed. ‘Maybe I was afraid to,’ she whispered. ‘My dad died of a heart attack. To admit Doug has a bad heart…I just kept hoping you’d come home.’
They thought of Ben almost as their son, Lily thought. There was such a depth of emotion in Rosa’s voice.
And Ben heard it. She watched his face and there were was an echo there of the emotions he’d felt that morning. He had a son, and now he had something akin to parents.
And a wife?
He couldn’t accept any of those things. She saw the tiny flare of panic behind his eyes and she thought there was no way he’d take this further. Parents, son, wife? The whole domestic catastrophe?
No.
‘There’s definite arrhythmia,’ he told Rosa, and Lily knew that once again he was seeking some sort of refuge in medicine. His voice was brusque and strained. ‘There’s something badly wrong. His blood pressure’s high as well. I’m guessing he’s had some sort of infarct-a heart attack. Maybe that’s what it was the night you said he was in such pain. He’s telling me the pain’s not so bad now, but he’s still uncomfortable, which means the pain before must have been awful.’
‘Dear God,’ Rosa whispered, colour draining from her face. She clutched at Lily. ‘You think…’
‘Ben’s not saying he’s going to die,’ Lily told her, guiding her into a chair by the stove. Benjy had gone to his bedroom to sort story books he wanted Ben to read to him that night, and she thanked God for it. The sight of Rosa’s face would have terrified him.
‘Rosa, how old was your dad when he died?’ Ben asked softly, and Lily nodded, silently agreeing with his line of questioning. Let’s get to the heart of the terror here.
‘Fifty-three,’ Rosa whispered. ‘Almost twenty years younger than Doug is now. He had pain, just like Doug, and there wasn’t anything we could do about it. One day his heart stopped, just like that. So I thought…when Doug started getting the pain…well, what can doctors do? That’s why I didn’t insist. He’s better staying here for whatever time he has left.’
‘There’s lots doctors can do,’ Ben told her, and Lily thought he really was a good doctor. Tensions forgotten, he was facing down terror with confidence and reassurance. ‘You must have heard of bypass surgery.’
‘Yes, but-’
‘No buts,’ Ben told her. ‘I’m listening to Doug’s heart and I’m hearing a heart under strain. I’m not a specialist and it’ll take tests to find out exactly what’s wrong, but I’m suspecting he has minor blockages. One or more of the blood vessels running to or from the heart have probably narrowed, to the point where the blood supply is compromised. Forty years ago there was nothing we could do. Now bypass surgery is so common it’s done routinely in every major hospital. Lily will concur.’
‘I concur,’ Lily murmured.
‘So all we need to do is get Doug to one of those hospitals.’
‘He’ll never agree.’
‘He has agreed,’ Ben said. Then he added ruefully, ‘Though not as soon as I’d like.’
‘How soon would you like?’
‘Now,’ Ben said promptly. ‘With pain like his, he’s a walking time bomb. But he’s refusing to leave until I leave.’
‘But you’re not leaving until…’
‘Tomorrow,’ Ben said. ‘There’s a Medivac helicopter in the area tomorrow. It was tentatively due to collect me, but I’ll radio them to pick us both up.’
And that will be that, Lily thought. He’d found an excuse to run.
‘You shouldn’t go yet,’ Rosa whispered.
‘I need to go. I was only intending to stay for a couple of days and I need to accompany Doug.’
Of course you do, Lily thought bitterly. The medical imperative.
‘Can I come, too?’ Rosa asked, and then she bit her lip. ‘But I can’t leave the farm. Flicker…’
‘I’ll organise for someone to fly in and take over,’ Ben told her. ‘It’ll be twenty-four hours at most. Then we’ll fly you out to join Doug.’
‘It’ll need to be someone who’s good with horses.’ Rosa was clearly torn. ‘Flicker’s due within the next week.’
‘It’ll be someone who’s good with horses,’ Ben assured her. ‘You know I inherited three farms from my parents. I still keep them as working farms and I have excellent staff on each. I’ll transfer someone here as soon as I can. When Doug’s recovered we’ll bring him back, and I’ll leave someone here to help as long as you need.’
‘Thank you,’ Rosa whispered, her eyes suddenly brimming with tears. ‘I think… Can I go and see Doug now?’
‘Of course,’ Ben told her. ‘But he stays in bed and rests until we leave. If he doesn’t then I call in a Medivac team right now.’
