To the Doctor: A Daughter

‘How goes it?’ Why wouldn’t her voice work properly? She tried again. ‘Ian…’

‘Ian is going to be OK. He’s one very lucky farmer.’ Nate sank onto her bed and lifted her hand, linking her fingers with his. It was a gesture of comfort, she told herself. Nothing more. So there was no reason at all for her heart to hammer even harder. ‘The X-rays show a green-stick fracture of his forearm and a couple of broken ribs. That’s all. His spine is only bruised-the numbness was temporary, caused by the blow, and now it’s completely gone. That’s not to say he won’t be sorry for himself for a good long while-that was a huge beam that slammed down on him. Graham and I have stitched his head, strapped his ribs and set his fracture and now he’s fast asleep. Like you should be.’

‘I’m not sleepy.’

He smiled down at her, with that smile that had her heart doing somersaults. ‘How about if I give you something to make you sleep?’

‘No. I should get up. Cady…’

‘Milly’s mother collected Cady an hour ago and has taken him out to have a party tea.’

‘Wh-why?’

‘Because she heard what was happening, of course. That’s what country practice is all about, Gemma. People looking after their own.’

And still his hand held hers. People looking after their own. That was how she felt, she thought, and it was the strangest sensation. Like she was cherished.

People didn’t cherish the likes of Gemma Campbell.

‘You realise you saved Ian’s life?’

‘I didn’t-’

‘He’d have bled to death in there, Gemma. You risked your life to save him. In fact, you risked your life to save us. Going near that damned power pole… And the community knows it. Ian’s wife is with him now. She’d normally have been in the dairy with him but she’d taken the kids to the city, shopping, so there’s another little miracle for you. She’s ready to fall on your chest with gratitude.’

‘I don’t-’

‘You don’t think you’re up to having anyone falling on your chest?’

‘Um, no,’ she managed, and he chuckled.

‘Jane says a couple of your scratches are deep. Can I see?’

‘No.’

‘I’m a doctor.’

‘Yeah, and so am I,’ she said with a note of asperity. ‘I can check my own scratches, thank you very much.’ The scratches Jane was talking about were in places she wasn’t having this man look at in a million years.

‘You’re sure?’

‘I’m sure.’

‘Gemma…’

‘Mmm.’ She was still defensive. Still trying desperately to maintain an armour plating round her heart. What was it with this man? He just had to look at her and she felt like jelly.

‘Gemma, when that iron shifted…when you were underneath…’

‘It wasn’t a good moment,’ she admitted, and Nate closed his eyes.

‘No, Gemma. It wasn’t a good moment. It made me see…’ Nate hesitated, and the grip on her hand tightened. He opened his eyes but he wasn’t looking at her. It was as if he was looking into an abyss. ‘It made me see how much…how much you’re starting to mean to me.’

‘I don’t-’

‘No, let me finish.’ He did look at her then, his dark eyes meeting hers and holding her gaze. ‘When I asked you to marry me…I was stupid.’

‘Well, there’s one thing we agree on,’ she whispered, but he shook his head.

‘No. I wasn’t stupid for asking you to marry me. In fact, I’ve never done anything so sensible in my life. But I was stupid when I thought that we could lead separate, independent lives.’

‘Nate-’

‘No, let me finish.’ He’d been shaken to the core. There was emotion in his voice-Nate Ethan had been thrown right off track and he was trying to make sense of it. ‘My parents didn’t have a good marriage. They had…well, I guess it could be called a marriage of convenience. My mother was a society hostess and my father was a brilliant surgeon. The role model they gave me was a marriage where the partners only came together as a matter of convenience. And I thought, well, for a long time that was what I thought should happen to me. Sure the life they led left me cold-that was why I turned to country medicine. But as for contact…as for loving…’

‘Nate, you’re shaken up.’ Somehow Gemma managed to make sense of this. Somehow. ‘You’ve had a shock. You’ve had two weeks of shocks. You learned that you have a baby. You’ve seen a man killed and you’ve been traumatised by this afternoon’s events. Now’s not the time to be saying-’

‘Now is the time to be saying. Marriage as a convenience… I must have been mad. It was only because I hadn’t yet met the right woman. And now I have. Hell, Gemma, I think I’m in love with you.’

There. The thing was said and it was out in the open.

He couldn’t believe he’d said it.

He looked…astonished, Gemma thought. As if he didn’t believe he was capable of such a thing.

He loved her?

People didn’t love Gemma Campbell.

‘Nate, you’ve had a fright,’ she said wearily. ‘You’ll see things differently in the morning.’

‘I won’t.’

She shrugged. There was a tiny part of her-a small warm core of her-that wanted to say yes! That wanted to accept every protestation this man could make. That wanted to take his face between her scratched hands and kiss him and kiss him…

To make him hers.

What was she thinking of? She wasn’t free to love this man. She couldn’t take him even if she wanted him.

‘Gemma…’ His hands were on her face, forcing her eyes to meet his. A girl could drown in those eyes, she thought drearily. If she could just let herself…

No. She’d let him kiss her once and that way could only lead to disaster. Somehow she had to pull back-to make him see.

‘Nate, I don’t want this.’

‘You do.’

‘No.’

‘Why not? It could be so great. You and me…’

‘No!’

‘You’re tired.’ His eyes were searching hers, puzzled and concerned. He didn’t understand. Well, why should he? She barely understood herself.

She was tired. Right, that was it. She was tired. ‘Yes.’ It sounded pathetic. She sounded pathetic.

‘We’ll talk in the morning.’

‘Yes.’ Maybe in the morning she’d have herself together. She’d have her armour back in place.

But she so wanted to kiss him.

‘You’d better go…’

‘Mmm.’ But he didn’t. His hands were still holding her face. He gazed down at her for a long, long minute and then very slowly he lowered his mouth onto hers.

She should refuse. She should push him away-shove-do anything but let herself sink into that kiss.

But she was no longer capable of fighting. She was no longer capable of pushing him away. Because suddenly there was nothing in this world except Nate. Nate holding her, Nate’s eyes searching hers, Nate’s mouth pressing against hers… Her brain told her to push this man away but her brain wasn’t the major force any more.

So what was? She didn’t know. All she knew was that it was a force as strong as life itself. Man meeting