City Surgeon, Small Town Miracle

He stifled a sigh. ‘Tell me honestly, do you feel up to being here?’

Her mouth opened then slowly closed, her shoulders slumping. ‘No,’ she whispered. ‘No. You’re right. There’s no point being here.’

‘Darling, go home. Rest, walk along the beach.’

She nodded.

‘I’ll come and see you as soon as I can.’

Another nod before she turned and walked away. He watched her go. Had he done the right thing? But what else could he do?

She looked so crushed and utterly defeated that he almost called her back.

Just over an hour later, Luke took some correspondence back to his office. A single piece of paper lay in the middle of his desk. Cold inevitability gripped him as he leaned across and picked it up.

A resignation. Neatly typed. Terri must have gone straight home to write the damned letter.

No way was he going to let her run away like this. He couldn’t. She needed help and support from people who loved her. Specifically, she needed his help, his support. He loved her.

He practised the persuasive words he’d use as he walked down to the beach cottage. When he got there the door was ajar but the place had an oddly deserted feel.

He knocked. Icy fear thrummed through him when there was no response. He yanked open the door then strode from room to room.

No sign of Terri but plenty of signs that she’d been here and been busy.

A suitcase lay open on the bed they’d made love in. Folded clothes sat in piles, waiting to be added to the case. As though she’d started packing but had been distracted from the task.

In the kitchen, pots and pans had been thrown haphazardly into a box on the bench. There was no chance that the lid could be fastened with the way handles bristled above the sides. At the other end of the bench was a stack of plates and a collection of glasses.

Without pausing, he opened the back door and stepped on to the verandah. A half-empty mug of coffee sat on the edge. He could imagine her sitting here drinking it, staring towards the beach. Was that where she was now?

His pulse fluttered as he jogged off the verandah towards the trees. He didn’t know what to expect, refused to think about what he might find.

She would be there.

She would be there…

And she was.

The tension in his body loosened abruptly, leaving his gut aching and his knees rubbery. She was sitting on the sand, hunched over with her arms wrapped around her shins as she stared out to sea.

Jamming his hands into his pockets, he took a deep shuddering breath. Damp, briny sea air filled his lungs and he stood for a moment collecting his wits before he walked closer to his still oblivious target. When he was several feet from her, he stopped. Keeping his tone carefully neutral, he said, ‘You’ve been busy since I saw you.’

She started as though he’d yelled at her.

‘You know I’m not going to accept your resignation.’ He stepped forward and lowered himself to the sand beside her, but not touching.

‘You should.’ She sounded so cold, so remote.

He had to connect with her so that she would listen to him.

‘Why should I?’

Her head came around at his question and she looked at him. A frown slowly pleated her forehead as she thought about her answer. ‘Because I can’t be trusted. My judgement is flawed.’ She shrugged and turned to face the water again. Her voice was too matter-of-fact for the agony behind the words she spoke. ‘I’m so brittle I feel like I could fly apart.’

‘Terri, you’re suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.’

She didn’t acknowledge him.

He tried again. ‘You need to get help so you can recover.’

Her gaze stayed on the horizon.

‘You have so much courage. I’m asking you to use some now.’ He watched her profile for any sign that he’d reached her. ‘For me and for Allie. We need you. I need you.’

‘Allie.’ She shook her head and her chin trembled for a tiny fraction of a second. ‘I don’t know if I can be whatever it is that you need, whatever it is that she needs. You can’t trust me to make good decisions.’

‘I can trust you. I do trust you. It’s you who doesn’t trust you. And you should. You have wonderful judgement. Your thinking is just a bit scrambled at the moment because of your experiences.’

‘You make it sound easy.’ She shook her head. ‘But it’s not. I’m empty. You and Allie deserve more than I can give you.’

‘Not true, darling. We deserve you. You’re the person who saw what my daughter and I needed. You’re the person who brought us together after months of grief.’ He felt as though he was fighting a battle with no weapons, nothing to hold onto, nothing to let him see if he was making headway. He was losing her. ‘I know it’s not easy. I hear your pain, I felt your heartbreak when you cried in my arms.’

‘Stop. Luke-’

‘I know I can’t understand what you’re going through. But I know this, I’m here for you’ He swallowed, feeling the crushing pain in his chest. ‘I love you, Terri.’

Her hands came up to cover her face and her shoulders began to shake. He’d reached her but in doing so he’d given her more pain.

He pulled her into his arms and laid his cheek on her hair as he absorbed the tremors that shook her.

‘It’s okay, darling, it’s okay.’ He murmured the words over and over, knowing how very far from the truth they were.

At last, her sobs quietened.

‘I feel broken.’ Her voice was still thick with tears.

‘You’re in pain, darling, but the bits of you are all there. We’ll find help and you can put them all back together again.’

‘I feel so bad.’ She took a deep shaky breath. ‘What if I can’t be fixed? What if this is me? What if…I can’t be a doctor any more?’

‘Then you can be anything you like.’ He stroked her hair. ‘Be my wife.’

He felt shock ripple through her. He hadn’t meant to say the words, not yet. But it was what he wanted. After a moment, she tipped her head back and looked at him.

‘Marry me,’ he said.

‘Oh, Luke.’ Her face screwed up in pain. ‘I w-want to accept your proposal s-so badly. But I c-can’t. It wouldn’t be fair.’

Pain squeezed his chest. ‘To whom?’ he asked softly.

‘To you, to Allie.’ She looked into the distance. ‘Maybe even to me.’

‘Can you tell me why not?’ He smothered the fear that clawed at him and held onto one tiny skerrick of hope. She hadn’t refused him outright.

‘Because I don’t think I know who I am any more. I need help to find out.’ Her eyes came back to his holding a plea for understanding. ‘What if I’ve changed? I’m not sure I can handle the weight of your disappointment.’

His spirits swooped but he made himself give her a nod of reassurance. ‘Then let’s find you some help and see where it takes you. I want to marry you, Terri. The offer is there, no expiry or use-by date. And no pressure.’

‘Thank you.’ Her face was sombre.

He tightened his arms around her in a quick hug. ‘In the meantime, I have more news,’ he said dragging up the first change of subject that occurred to him. ‘Ah, make that I have lots of news since I haven’t told you what led up to it. Allie and I have been talking about staying in Port Cavill. We’ll be house-hunting at the weekend. We want you to come.’

‘You’re staying? And you’ve talked to Allie about it?’