It was ridiculous, she told herself as she got out of the car. The man was her neighbor, nothing more. Yet, that wasn't completely true. He was also a good friend, and a good surrogate father to her children. He'd been there for her, and his touch made her forget herself. She blushed as she remembered how willing she'd been to make love with him in a public park. She hadn't cared about anyone driving by and seeing them. She hadn't cared about anything but getting close to him, kissing him, stepping into the fire they generated and giving up her soul to the flames.
They weren't dating, but they'd almost become lovers. She didn't want a man like him in her life, but she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wanted it to be real, yet she knew in her heart that Kyle was everything she wanted to avoid in a man. She walked to the rear of the vehicle and opened the back door. So why couldn't she turn her back on him and forget about it? Why was she having trouble sleeping and eating, and why did her heart still pound so hard every time she saw him?
She had to make her body, or her hormones, or whatever was causing the reaction stop. She couldn't go on like this. What would happen if things got tough? She wanted a man who would make the difficult decisions no matter what they cost him personally. She wanted someone she could depend on.
'You're looking serious about something.'
She jumped and turned toward the sound. 'Kyle,' she said, pressing her hand on her chest. 'You startled me.'
'I was on the porch,' he said, pointing toward the house, 'but you didn't notice me waving.'
'Sorry. I was thinking.'
'About what?'
His brown eyes studied her face, his firm mouth smiled easily. The sheer male beauty of his features took her breath away. He wore black shorts and a T-shirt that advertised a local deli. Everywhere she looked, she saw hard muscles and tanned skin. It was enough to make a woman swoon. Her palms dampened, her mouth got dry and she couldn't think of an intelligent thing to say. If she were eighteen, or even twenty, she would swear she was in love. But she was thirty-two, and she knew better.
'Nothing important.'
He reached up and cupped her chin. 'I haven't seen you in a while. Everything okay?'
'Couldn't be better.'
'Vacations are over for now, so my schedule is going to be normal again, starting Monday. Maybe we could take another bike ride.'
Her thighs began to tremble. 'I think that would be a mistake-'
He bent down and kissed her, cutting off her words. There was nothing seductive about the pressure of his mouth on hers. It was soft and sweet. Still, she felt her body begin to hum as need and desire flashed through her.
He straightened. 'What were you saying?'
Had she been saying something? She leaned toward him hoping he would kiss her again, but he just gave her that cat-who-ate-the-canary grin of his. 'Huh? Ah, nothing. Why?'
'I could have sworn you were going to tell me another bike ride wouldn't be a good idea.'
She reached into the station wagon and picked up a covered casserole dish. She handed it to Kyle, then reached for the covered cake plate. He slammed the car door shut, then fell into step beside her as they started for the house.
'Why would I say a foolish thing like that?' she asked.
'That's what I was thinking.'
When they reached the stairs leading to the porch, she paused and stared at him. Sunlight caught his short dark hair. He was tall and broad, strong. In the last few weeks, she'd come to think of him as dependable, which was a word she never would have associated with one of the Haynes brothers. Yet, they'd all changed. They'd grown up. For a brief moment, she wanted it to be enough.
'Is it true?' she asked. 'Did you really have a crush on me?'
He looked past her toward a grove of trees next to the house. 'It's the only time I hated my brother. The first time Jordan brought you home, I wanted to kill him and steal you away for myself.'
'Really? Why?'
'I'm not going to answer that.'
'When did you get over your crush?'
His gaze settled on her. 'Don't ask questions unless you're sure you want the answers.'
Her breath caught in her throat. What was he saying? That it had been over so quickly that she would be insulted if she knew, or something else? That he'd never gotten over it. But he had to have. He couldn't still have those feelings for her, could he? He was right, she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
'Why didn't you say anything?'
He laughed. 'Sorry, that's as much of my confession as you're going to get.'
'But Kyle-'
'But nothing.' He raised the dish in his hands. 'What did you bring?'
'Potato salad and chocolate cake.'
'Sounds great. I brought yams.'
She giggled. 'Is it true? That's the only thing you can make?'
He looked insulted. 'It is not. I just like yams.'
'Okay, me, too. I thought they were great.'
He bent toward her. For a second, she thought he was going to kiss her again. She wanted him to. She wanted him to hold her and touch her and take her to that magic place they disappeared to when they were together. She wanted to make love and talk about the past and the future. She wanted to hear about his crush, then whisper that she couldn't keep her heartbeat under control when he was around.
Then the front door opened and he straightened. 'We need less interruptions and more privacy,' he murmured.
She glanced up and saw the third oldest Haynes brother standing in the doorway. 'Jordan!' she called and started up toward him.
'Hey, Sandy.' Jordan wasn't as tall as Kyle, or as good-looking, but there was something soulful in his eyes. He'd always been the moody one, the brooder. While Craig had been the athletic star and Travis had collected ladies based on his charm, Jordan had been the James Dean of the county. Even Sensible Sandy hadn't been immune.
He met her at the top of the stairs and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 'I heard you were back in town. How's it going?'
'Really well.'
'I met your kids,' he said, then gave her a kiss on the cheek. 'The littlest one has your smile. She's going to be a heartbreaker.'
She was pleased at the compliment. 'Thanks. Nichole is a sweetie.'
She looked at her old boyfriend. Time had been kind to him. The new lines around his eyes only made him more good-looking. The Haynes family had an incredible gene pool, she thought, then realized she was standing right next to Jordan, talking to him, staring at his smile and feeling absolutely nothing. Not a twinge of attraction, not a flicker of a faster heartbeat. It was as if he were her brother.
'Before you get too charming,' Kyle said, coming up and elbowing his brother out of the way, 'the lady's with me.
Jordan's dark eyes met hers. 'So that's how it is?'
Sandy glanced up at Kyle. Her heart kicked into high gear and her stomach dived for her toes. Maybe it was just the flu, or an allergy. 'That's exactly how it is,' she whispered.
Fifteen children, eight adults and an assortment of pets could go through enough food to feed an army and still have room to argue about who got the largest piece of cake. Sandy looked sadly at the few crumbs that were all that was left of her three-layer masterpiece.
'At least they enjoyed it,' Elizabeth said, coming up and taking the dirty side plates. 'This family sure can eat.'
'I'll say. I think that lone pickle floating in the jar is about it for leftovers.'
