was a one in a million chance that something could go wrong.” She tilted her head back and stared at him. “She had a beautiful baby she wanted to live for. She’d seen Christie. How could she see her child and still want to die?”
Their gazes locked. She could see the war being waged in his eyes. Would her words be enough to defeat years of blaming himself?
“It’s all there in the letter I gave you. The one Stacey wrote. She apologized, Parker. She knew she’d been wrong. And she said that she wasn’t sure whether or not to tell you about the baby. She planned to make a decision after Christie was born. Those aren’t the words of someone who wants to die. She had a future, something to live for. She had me. She knew I would support her, no matter what.”
“You don’t know how much I want to believe you,” he said hoarsely.
“Then do. I have no reason to lie about this. I loved my sister with all my heart. She was brilliant and funny and the best friend I ever had. I’ll always miss her. But I know her, Parker. I know her dreams and I know what happened to her that summer. She lost her head. So accept your part of the blame, but don’t take it all on yourself. Leave some for the rest of us.”
“Are you sure?”
Her heart ached for him. “Of course I’m sure. Obviously it’s the destiny of the Ridgeway women to have a serious crush on you. We’re just going to have to learn how to handle it better.”
She spoke without thinking. As the meaning of the words sunk in, Erin wanted to call them back. But it was too late. She stepped away from Parker, then turned her back on him. Oh, Lord, why couldn’t she think before speaking?
She could feel the flush of embarrassment climbing her cheeks. At least it was dark and he wouldn’t be able to see. She pressed her hands against her face.
“What I meant was-” she muttered in a strangled voice, then realized she didn’t have a quick line to make it all sound right.
“Erin?”
She cleared her throat. “I think it’s time for me to make my escape.”
Before she could leave, he grabbed her arm and turned her toward him. His gaze searched her face. “Erin?”
Okay, there was no easy way out of this. She would survive the moment. To the best of her knowledge, no one had actually ever died of embarrassment.
She stared at the open collar of his polo shirt. “Look, it’s no big deal. Really. It’s just the stress of the situation, and being here. You’ve been nice to Christie and me. You know, I
She was babbling.
He touched a finger to her chin, forcing her to look at his face. His eyes were bright with an emotion she couldn’t read. His mouth curved up at the corners.
“Stop looking at me like that,” she said.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m Christie, and I’ve just given you a dopey looking drawing.”
“You’re nothing like Christie.”
Was that good or bad? “This doesn’t change anything. I’m not Stacey. I’m not going to get you drunk and seduce you.”
“Too bad.”
“What?”
He moved a little closer. The finger touching her jaw slid up and caressed her cheek. The sound of the ocean faded to a dull roar.
“Parker, you’re not listening to me. I’ll admit that I sort of fell for you while I was reading Stacey’s diary. I mean she made you sound terrific and I thought…well, I’m not sure what I thought. Anyway, then I got here and you were good-looking and sweet to Christie and I like to think any woman in my position would have reacted the same way. But it’s not a problem.”
“You’re talking too much.”
“Huh?” His finger brushed against her skin, moving back and forth. He was making it difficult to think. “I’m saying I can control my feelings. This doesn’t have to change anything. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I’m not worried.”
With that he dipped his head lower and brushed his mouth against hers.
Like a lit match touching dry tinder, fire exploded inside her. Instinctively she clung to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her hard against him. His tongue swept against her lips. She parted for him, seeking him as he entered, shivering when he began to explore her mouth.
She was ablaze with heat and long-denied need. She wanted him. All of him. So it took every ounce of willpower to pull back.
“You don’t have to do this,” she said, her voice trembling. “I don’t want you to kiss me because you feel sorry for me.”
He laughed. “Erin, do you remember the last time I kissed you?”
She nodded.
“I told you then I was concerned that my attraction to you was making you uncomfortable.”
“I thought you were kidding,” she whispered.
“Fool,” he said gently, then pressed his lips to her forehead. “I didn’t want to scare you off. And I didn’t want you to think I was using sex to keep Christie.”
“You’d never do that.”
“I know that. I didn’t know if you did. There’s something powerful between us. Maybe it’s time we stopped resisting and went along for the ride.”
She wasn’t sure. This could be an elaborate trick to make her feel better about mentioning the crush. Then he pressed his hips against hers and she felt the hard ridge of his desire. That part would be difficult to fake. Okay, he
“I’m not Stacey,” she said, voicing the fear she didn’t want to admit she had.
“I know, Erin.” He cupped her face in his hands. “You’re afraid I just want to relive the past.”
“Maybe.”
“The only thing I remember about that night is that I wanted to get so lost, the pain couldn’t find me anymore. This isn’t about that. This is about you and me and how much I want you in my bed. No ghosts this time.”
She believed him. Maybe because she wanted to. A thousand questions filled her mind, but she ignored them. She ignored everything but the man in front of her. If she trusted him with her child, then surely she could trust him with her body. She raised herself on her toes and pressed her mouth to his.
Chapter Eleven
She was soft and sweet as she pressed against him. Parker felt his body harden more as she leaned into their kiss. In the past five years he’d been aroused on occasion. There were mornings he awoke with the lingering physical evidence of an erotic dream. A cold shower quickly diluted his need. But not this time. He could feel heat burning away the barriers he’d constructed. This time there was no turning back.
He broke their kiss and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I think we need some privacy,” he said.
“What?” She glanced around the terrace, then smiled sheepishly. “Oh, we’re outside. I’d forgotten.”
“Good.”
As they crossed to the stairs, she looked at him. “Parker, are you sure?”
“I haven’t been as sure of anything in a long time.”
“I’m a little nervous.”
“Because of everything in the past?” He wanted to reassure her. She was the only woman he was thinking about. Briefly he wondered if that was wrong. Should he still be caught up in the grief of his wife’s passing? Then he decided he didn’t want to have to think about that right now. Tonight he wanted to feel alive. In Erin’s arms, in her
