Ashley knew she was grinning like a sheep but she couldn't help herself. There was something wonderful about the way her thighs hurt from what she'd been doing the previous night. Okay, yes, she knew that she and Jeff could never have a normal relationship. And yes, having an affair with one's boss, however brief, was never clever. But there was something to be said for a romantic, and slightly sexual, glow.
She felt as if she wasn't actually touching the ground when she walked. Everything seemed more brightly colored and nothing could upset her good mood. The downside was she'd had a darned difficult time concentrating in class. She'd found herself doodling Jeff's name instead of paying attention to the lecture.
She had it bad.
Ashley walked to the refrigerator to pull out the chicken she wanted to roast for dinner. As much as she wanted to be with Jeff again, she knew that it could never work between them. There was no future here. She wanted to make a safe haven for herself and her daughter. She had no clue as to what Jeff wanted, but she suspected it was something very different. He wasn't the kind of man who would love her more than anything. He would never promise to love her unconditionally, the way she would want to love him.
She froze in the act of removing the chicken from the shelf. Not that she was saying she loved Jeff. She didn't. She liked him a lot and she thought he was hot, which was very different from love. Jeff was not the man for her-he had a past that was too different from her own. They obviously couldn't make love again, even if he wanted to. She would have to tell him as soon as he got home.
Jeff couldn't remember another more cowardly act in his life. However potentially difficult or painful, he'd never taken the easy way out until tonight. Instead of coming home at his usual time and facing Ashley, he'd had Brenda phone to say he had to work late.
It was after eleven when he pulled into the garage and turned off the engine. The situation had been worse than he'd realized. Not only didn't he want to face her, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her while he'd been at the office. Despite his long hours, he hadn't gotten anything accomplished.
He climbed out of the car and headed for the house. As he'd driven up, he'd noticed faint light from behind the drapes, so he wasn't surprised to see that Ashley had left on a few lamps. As he crossed toward the kitchen, he tried to remember if he'd ever not come home in the dark.
He found a piece of paper waiting for him on the kitchen table. 'Uncle Jeff' spelled out in very uneven, very large block crayon letters was followed by an arrow pointing to a plate with a slice of chocolate cake. The dessert looked too tidy to have been made by Maggie, but the welcoming note was pure little girl.
His chest tightened. He couldn't recall anyone ever doing something like this for him. Maggie had actually thought about him while he'd been gone. Had Ashley, as well?
His house was no longer empty and impersonal. He told himself it didn't matter, but it did. He told himself he shouldn't like it-but he did.
Swearing under his breath, he ignored the dessert and headed for the stairs. He had to get himself under control. Distractions weren't allowed. He promised himself the situation would get better with time. It had to.
She was waiting in his bed. Jeff stepped into the room and flipped the switch. Ashley lay curled up on top of the covers, one arm bent and supporting her head. She wore a lace nightgown that covered everything and concealed nothing. He forgot to breathe.
'Hi,' she said, slowly pushing herself into a sitting position. 'I wasn't sure what time you'd be home and I didn't want to miss you.'
He couldn't speak. He could barely set down his briefcase. His throat was tight, his groin was on fire. He didn't care. He wanted to spend the rest of his life looking at her slender curves and remembering what it had been like to make love with her.
'It's about Easter,' she said. She sounded calm. She
He blinked. He couldn't have heard her correctly. 'Easter?'
'You know, that holiday we have in the spring? Maggie's been talking about it, as you may remember. The thing is, I always hide Easter eggs for her. I would like to know if it's all right for me to do that in your yard this year.' She wrinkled her nose. 'Unless it rains. That would be a drag.'
He couldn't understand what she was saying. Didn't she know she was practically naked and making him crazy, lying there on his mattress? Yet she acted as if everything were perfectly fine.
'Use the yard,' he managed to say. 'For the eggs.'
'Good. Also, when I talked to Brenda today, she invited us to brunch at her house. I hope you don't mind that I said yes. So I figured we'd do the Easter egg hunt, then go to church, then over to Brenda's. Of course if you object to church, you could meet us there.'
He was losing his mind. 'Brenda invited the three of us?'
Some of her calmness faded. He sensed her tension. Suddenly Ashley wouldn't look at him. 'Yes, well, I thought that was odd. Then I figured she'd run it past you and you'd agreed.'
Brenda hadn't said a word.
Ashley slid to the edge of the bed, then stood. She was barefoot and nearly naked.
'The thing is, I'd told myself I was going to be practical,' she said, moving closer to him. Her hazel eyes glinted with humor. 'Having an affair with my boss is not only crazy, it's potentially dangerous. I have goals, you have goals and they're not the same, right?'
He suddenly wanted to hear all about her goals. Instead he nodded.
'So it would be dumb to get involved.'
As she spoke, she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed off his jacket. The thick fabric slid down his arms and slipped to the ground.
She pressed her fingers against his chest. 'But you're so darned cute when you're all stoic and soldierlike. I'm not sure I can resist that. There's also the way you're patient with Maggie and incredible in bed. All that attention focused on what I want. Call me spineless. One minute I was getting ready to crawl between my own sheets and the next I was here. Want me to go away?'
Instead of answering with words, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. She responded the instant his mouth brushed hers, leaning into him and groaning softly. Desire filled him, making his blood heat and his arousal flex against her belly. He wanted her. He'd been fooling himself by thinking he could share the same house and ignore her.
He swept his tongue against her lower lip. She parted for him, but he waited before entering, brushing back and forth until she trembled. Only then did he slip inside and taste her sweetness.
She clung to him. Bodies pressed, heat flared, need grew. He felt the rapid pounding of her heartbeat and knew that his own beat just as fast. Desperate for more, he broke the kiss so he could nibble his way along her jaw and down her throat. She groaned and arched her head back.
'Jeff,' she gasped. 'You don't have to do the Easter thing if you don't want to. I mean I won't change my mind about wanting to make love with you.'
He couldn't help chuckling as he tugged on her lace nightgown. 'I'll do the Easter thing,' he said softly, pulling down her short sleeves and baring her to the waist. 'Right now I'll promise to do anything you want.'
Chapter 11
Jeff awakened shortly before dawn. He jerked out of a sound sleep only to find himself right where he was supposed to be-in his bedroom. It was nearly a full second before he was able to register two important facts: he hadn't had the dream and he wasn't alone.
He didn't know which startled him more. After he and Ashley had made love the previous evening, they'd slipped under the covers. He'd held her close, fully expecting to spend another night staring at the ceiling, not daring to close his eyes and experience the nightmare. Instead he'd drifted off without being haunted by the specters of his past.
