want you to be able to see, if only to be able to compliment me on my tasteful ensembles.”
“Thanks,” she said. “It’s okay.”
“I don’t think so. You look pouty. And puffy. Were you crying last night?” He sank down next to her and took her hand. “Did I make you cry? Say that I didn’t. I couldn’t stand it if I did. Izzy?”
She managed a smile. “I don’t believe in crying, but if I did, it wasn’t so much about you. I had a fight with Nick, too.”
“Oh, well, that makes sense. You two are circling each other like dogs in heat. Oh, wait. I don’t like that visual at all. You’re circling each other like…” He sighed. “I can’t think of anything, but you know what I mean.”
“I think so, only you’re wrong. Nick isn’t interested in me.”
“Oh, honey, you haven’t seen him looking at you. Trust me, the wanting is so there.”
She wanted to believe him, but didn’t dare risk it. After finally feeling more like herself it was icky to feel vulnerable again. Icky and uncomfortable.
“Maybe,” she said, not really believing him. “So tell me about your date with Steve.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice. It was fabulous. He made me laugh, he was charming. We talked about everything. Our past relationships, what we’re looking for in a man, the future. The time flew by. He’s very good- looking.”
“So are you.”
“Well, thank you. Although, and don’t take this wrong, a compliment from a blind woman isn’t as thrilling as you’d think.”
She grinned. “Really? Color me shocked.”
“Oh, good. Your attitude is back. Okay, let me tell you more. Steve likes his job, but he doesn’t love it. He’s into cooking and wine. We’re both from somewhere else-he’s from L.A.-but we both love Texas. We love the same wines, we both enjoy travel.” He sighed. “It was perfect. I’m so happy and completely terrified.”
“Because you’re afraid it’s not going to work out?”
“Of course. Love isn’t easy. Every time I get burned, it’s that much more difficult to take another chance. But he’s too yummy for me not to try.”
“Because the reward is worth the risk.”
“I just said that.”
“Right. Sorry. I was actually talking about myself.”
“But we already talked about you. It’s my turn.”
True, and Aaron loved taking his turn. Still, his words connected with her on another level. They could be talking about her situation.
She leaned toward him. “Will you take me into Dallas?”
“Of course. Do you want to see your sisters?”
“No. I want to see my doctor and I can’t ask them.”
“Why not? They’d take you.”
“I don’t want to get their hopes up.”
He was silent for a minute. “You want to talk about the surgery.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. Don’t tell anyone. I need to call.” She gave a nervous laugh. “Actually I need you to call. Dialing is a bit of a challenge for me.”
“Do you think he’ll see you today? Ooh, this is very exciting. I feel like a spy. Should I disguise my voice when I call?”
“I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“Let me know if you want me to. I can do a British accent. Hello, this is Nigel Barker and I’m verry, verry handsome.”
“ANYTHING?” the doctor asked.
Izzy stared at the screen in front of her and shook her head. “It’s all blurry. At first I kept thinking if I blinked enough, everything would clear.”
“Sorry, that’s not going to happen.” Dr. Greenspoon moved in closer, a handheld light/lens thing held up to his own eye. “Look to your left.”
Izzy did as he requested. She’d had her eyes dilated, stared into what felt like the sun, had her eyes numbed, filled with drops, stained and now stared at.
“You’re holding your own,” he said as he straightened. “That’s a positive sign. Sometimes there’s deterioration. Your best option is still the surgery. There’s a better than ninety percent chance your sight will be restored to normal.”
Her stomach lurched. “But a ten percent chance I’ll be permanently blind.”
“I’ve never had it happen, but, yes, that’s a possibility. Izzy, if it would make you feel better, we can do one eye at a time. See how it goes.”
She shook her head. “If it went badly, I’d never do the other eye. It’s all or nothing.”
“That works for me. After the surgery, you’ll be in bandages for a week, then we take them off and witness the miracle.”
“You’re optimistic,” she grumbled.
“I’m a surgeon-it’s one part confidence, two parts ego. I need a couple of days to schedule it. I’m off next week on vacation but anytime after that.”
“Okay,” she said, oddly grateful that she couldn’t do it today, even if she wanted to. There was time. Time to think, time to assess the risk. “If the surgery fails, there’s no going back, right?”
Dr. Greenspoon hesitated. “There are always innovations,” he began.
“But I’d be dependent on a miracle.”
“Yes.”
She stood. “Okay, thanks for seeing me.”
He rose and squeezed her arm. “You’re a beautiful young woman. You have an excellent chance of fully restored sight. I know you’re afraid, but I do think your best option is to take a chance on the surgery.”
“I know.” Everyone was so free with advice. Of course no one else had to live with the consequences if things went wrong. “I’ll call the office when you get back and let you know what I’ve decided.”
“Take care, Izzy.”
Aaron was sitting in the waiting room when she walked up front. “And?” he asked.
“Nothing’s changed. I can have the surgery anytime after next week. There’s a good chance my sight would go back to normal.”
“So what are you waiting for? Why not go for it?”
“Because the alternative is being permanently blind forever. I can’t handle that.”
“You can handle anything.” Aaron put his arm around her. “You’re full of attitude. You’d manage. Look at Rita.”
“Rita’s a better person than I am.”
“It’s not about being a good person. It’s about not giving up. I would have thought you were the kind to move forward, no matter what.”
They walked outside. The sun was bright, but Izzy didn’t have to squint or put on sunglasses. It barely bothered her at all. What would it be like to be normal again? Was that possible? And if it wasn’t, could she live with the darkness?
“You face scary stuff all the time,” Aaron continued. “Didn’t you tell me you went swimming with sharks?”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“I got to pick the time and place. It didn’t just happen. And the consequences weren’t nearly this scary.”
“You mean losing an arm or a head is less frightening than being blind?”
“Something like that.”
“You’re a very weird person. You know that, don’t you?”
“So I’ve been told.”
IZZY COULDN’T SLEEP. No matter how many times she stretched out on her bed, she couldn’t relax. She got desperate enough to turn out the lights, but the total blackness wasn’t comfortable, either, so she clicked them back on.
