“You’re twelve. You get to be confused. I’m supposed to have figured it all out by now.”
“You’re good with the horses.”
“I enjoy working with them.” But she wanted something more. The question was what?
“You’re easy to talk to,” Heidi told her.
“Thanks. So are you.”
Later that night, after Heidi had gone to bed, Izzy went looking for Nick. She found him in his office.
“If I didn’t know better, I would say you were hiding,” she told him as she entered.
“Sorry. I’ve been busy getting ready for the kids this weekend. There’s a lot of paperwork.”
For the thousandth time, she wished she could see his face. She wanted to know what he was really thinking. “Are you worried I’m going to get all girly because we slept together?”
“No. I never worry about that with you.”
She sat down. “Good. Because I’m not. Are you?”
“No.”
She heard the humor in his voice.
“I like Heidi,” she said. “She’s not what I expected. Things have got to be hard for her, but she’s a great kid.”
“Most of them are.”
“She didn’t deserve what happened to her. I guess no one does. I was scared of not knowing what to say or do, but she doesn’t need me to make anything better. I’m just a friend.”
“That’s good.”
Feelings welled up inside her. It took her a second to figure out her point.
“I’m not curing cancer or anything, but I think this helps. This experience. And I’m a part of that. I’ve never been a part of anything like this before. So I wanted to say thank-you.”
“You’re welcome.”
She stood to leave, then turned back to him. “You don’t get involved with the kids who come here?”
“I have other things I need to do.”
“No, you don’t. You should meet the people you help, Nick. You might just be surprised by how good that makes you feel.”
“WHAT KIND OF TREES are those?” Heidi asked the next afternoon when they left the corral and started actually riding out in the open.
“Like I can see them?” Izzy asked with a laugh. “Did you get the whole blind thing?”
“Oh, right. Sorry. They’re nice. I live in Southern California. Not so much on the trees there. I thought Texas had lots of wildflowers. I don’t see any.”
“They happen in spring. It’s too hot now.”
Heidi provided a running commentary on everything they rode by, which could have been wearing but was actually nice. She was enthused, happy and acting just like a kid. And it had only been a day. What would she be like after a week or a month in a place like this?
She thought about the facilities already in place. Couldn’t Nick host kids all summer and save the corporate stuff for the rest of the year? Maybe have families visit on weekends, but during the week, kids only? It could work. He would need a full-time staff of psychologists and maybe a couple of nurses, but that was all doable. If it was a summer program, they could hire school psychologists who were experienced with kids and still had the time off.
“Oh, look, Izzy,” Heidi whispered. “Look.”
“I can’t,” she whispered back.
“There’s a deer. She’s so beautiful. I’ve never seen a deer, except at the zoo. She’s real and everything. Look how she walks. She’s eating.” Heidi’s voice rose. “She’s eating and, oh, look.”
Izzy glanced around at the blurry world and waited until the deer had moved on. Heidi urged Flower forward.
“That was so cool,” the girl said, sounding excited. “I love riding. Can we go every day I’m here?”
“Of course. Flower would like that.”
“I’m going to call my mom tonight and tell her I want to take lessons. I don’t care if people stare. It’s too much fun. I can’t hide in my room forever, right?”
“Right.” Izzy felt all bright and light inside, like she could float away on a bubble of happiness. “By the way, have you ever been rock climbing?”
“No.”
“We’ll have to try that when we get back.”
“Is it fun?”
“I think you’re going to love it.”
MONDAY CAME TOO QUICKLY, Izzy thought as she hugged Heidi goodbye.
“You’ll call me?” the girl asked, tears thickening her voice.
“I’m going to have to. It’s not like I can do e-mail.”
Heidi hugged her again. “You’re the best. I had such a good time. Thanks for everything.”
“You’re welcome.” Izzy let go and straightened. She fought the burning in her eyes. There was no way she was going to cry. At least not in front of Heidi.
The girl climbed in the SUV and closed the door. Izzy waved and had no idea if Heidi was waving back. When the SUV pulled away, she turned and practically ran into Nick.
He caught her and held her in front of him. “You okay?”
“Yes. Just a little choked up. I didn’t know it would be like this. She’s amazing and tough and still sees the wonder in things. After what happened to her, how is that possible?”
“She’s strong. You were good with her. I saw you two together.”
“I hope I helped. I loved hanging out with her.” She hesitated. “Whatever you went through, whatever you did, if it brought you here, then it’s not as bad as you think. This is worth it, Nick. This is magic. You’re helping children in a profound way. You’re making them believe in themselves. It’s amazing. Don’t believe me. Ask their parents.”
“None of this makes up for what I did.”
“Maybe not, but did it ever occur to you that you had to make that mistake to get here? To make this kind of a difference? How many others are there like Heidi? How many others will you help?”
“Not enough.”
He was so stubborn. “You won’t be able to reach them all, but each child is a chance. Why can’t you see the good you do?”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about them.”
“Maybe it’s about all of us.” She touched his arm. “I want to have the surgery.”
He didn’t say anything.
She shrugged. “It’s time. I get it. After spending the weekend with Heidi, how can I still be afraid?”
He touched her face with his fingertips, then pulled her close.
“Will you take me?” she asked, her words muffled against his shoulder. “I don’t want my sisters to know until after the surgery. I don’t want them to worry.”
“Yes.”
She waited. “That’s it? No ‘I told you so’ or ‘You should have done this weeks ago’?”
“No.”
“Can I stay here while I recover?”
He kissed her. His mouth was warm and sexy and tempting. “If you tried to leave, I’d drag you back.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
