conscience. “Who?” he asked quietly.
“No one you know.”
“Liar.”
“Calling your boss names isn’t a great way to get a raise.” Winston’s light tone belied the seriousness of their conversation.
“I don’t recall asking for one.” Zach forced himself to push the disturbing thoughts away. He would deal with them later, when he was alone. “So how’d you get me out?”
“A couple of operatives came to me with a rather unique plan.”
Before he could continue, there was a knock at the door.
“Come,” Winston called.
Zach was expecting a nurse or maybe his doctor. Perhaps even one of the guys he knew from the agency. He was almost right. The person stepping through the door was a fellow employee, but it wasn’t one of the guys. After seven long years, Jamie Sanders stepped back into his life.
Her hair was long again, more than halfway down her back. The sight of the dark blond strands caused a memory to nibble at the edge of his mind, but he couldn’t place it. He brushed his fingers against the back of his hand, as if something there tickled.
She was lean, leaner than she’d been in training. High cheekbones defined her features. Her mouth was full, her eyes almond-shaped. She wore a black T-shirt with the long sleeves pulled up to her elbows. Through the thin material, he could see the definition of her muscles. He’d heard about her victory on the obstacle course. Seeing her now, he knew the talk hadn’t been exaggerated.
She walked into the room. Worn jeans hugged slender thighs and narrow hips. She moved with the grace of a panther. He returned his attention to her face. There was a time he’d known everything she was thinking. While she’d been his student in training, he’d been aware of her mixed feelings. Sometimes her hazel eyes would darken to green with resentment at the way he pushed her. Other times, when he’d turned quickly and caught her staring at him, those same irises had shifted to blue and deepened with interest and affection. He’d been battling his own attraction. He’d wanted her from the first moment he’d seen her, and their six months together in training had done nothing to change that.
As her instructor, he’d had a responsibility to keep his personal feelings to himself and he had. He’d been tough, just as he was with all the recruits. He’d ridden Jamie extra-hard. Because he was hard on all his recruits and because he saw in her the potential to be the best.
She’d done them both proud. She was an excellent agent. A lean, strong, thinking, killing machine. She was everything he’d known she could be.
“Here she is now,” Winston said, rising to his feet and crossing the floor. He wrapped his arm around Jamie’s shoulders. “Here’s the agent responsible for your rescue.”
The simple sentence caught Zach unaware. Jamie? Why the hell had she risked her life for him?
It was like taking a sucker punch to the belly. All his air rushed out. Every part of his body ached. He stared uncomprehending.
She met his gaze. Her body wasn’t all that had changed in the past seven years. She’d learned to hide what she was thinking. He knew what she’d become. While he was proud of her, he knew the price she’d paid. What had she lost along the way?
Without wanting to, he remembered being with her, holding her, being inside her. Making love to her. Fighting all the emotions that invoked because he knew the risk of feeling anything. He’d let her go because it was the kindest act he could offer. He’d let her go because he’d cared about her.
Looking at her now, he knew he’d made the right decision, but he wasn’t sure she had.
Pleasure and pain mingled in his gut. Pleasure at seeing her again, at being close to her…and pain, for all the same reasons.
But she wasn’t the only experienced agent in the room. He molded his features into a neutral expression and raised his eyebrows. “A couple of operatives? Wasn’t that risky?”
Jamie shrugged. The movement freed her of Winston’s arm, and she stepped away. “The other team had failed. We figured we’d travel better light.”
“We?”
“Rick Estes and me.”
Zach remembered Rick. He’d worked with him several times. He was a good man. “What was the plan?”
Winston stepped close to the hospital bed and grinned. “They blew up the munitions depot next to the compound. While everyone was distracted, Jamie carried you out.”
In one moment, he realized two things-the vision of her standing over him in the plane hadn’t been an illusion, and the fact that she’d risked her life for him.
He glared at Winston. “You approved this plan? What the hell were you thinking about? Last I heard, no one was sure exactly what was stored there.”
Jamie squeezed the jacket she held in her hands. “There was a calculated risk. We were willing to take it.”
He didn’t want to think about what could have happened to her, but he couldn’t think about anything else.
“If it wasn’t for the two of them, you’d be dead right now.” Winston sounded cheerful about the fact.
Zach ignored him and focused on Jamie. “Why’d you do it?”
Once again, she met his gaze easily. She’d changed so much, yet he would have recognized her in the dark. He could inhale the scent of her body. He wanted to touch her and find out if her skin still felt the same, if she would respond as quickly as she had before. But he didn’t dare let her know what he was thinking. Seven years ago, he’d been too dangerous to her well-being. Nothing had changed.
“I owed you,” she said quietly. “I always pay my debts.”
Two simple sentences. Amazing that they could cause as much pain as they did. Foolishly he wanted her to say more. He wanted her to confess she hadn’t been able to forget him. He wanted her to be as torn up about this meeting as he was.
No such luck.
“You’ve got what you wanted,” he said. “You’re a damn good agent. Congratulations.”
“Funny you should say that,” Winston said.
Jamie shot him a look and shook her head.
Winston’s pale eyebrows arched. He nodded, then continued. “She’ll probably move up to your place on the list, while you’re in here.”
“You’ll be the best, then. You earned it,” Zach told her. He’d warned her, and she hadn’t listened. There was nothing he could do about it now except try to forget.
Winston said something, but Zach didn’t hear the words. Exhaustion descended, and the drugs kicked in. He just wanted to sleep.
Jamie moved to his side and touched his hand. “Are you all right?” Concern straightened her mouth. One strand of her dark blond hair brushed against his wrist.
He hated that she’d been able to read him almost as much as he hated still feeling connected to her. Dear God, why hadn’t he been able to forget?
“Get out,” he ordered with as much force as he could muster.
Her body stiffened, then she slowly withdrew her hand.
“Zach,” Winston said, walking toward him.
Zach speared him with a glance, then returned his attention to Jamie. “You’ve done your good deed,” he said. “You’ve proven what a great operative you are. Great. Congratulations. Now get the hell out of my life.”
Jamie picked up her leather bag and handed the cab-driver his fare plus the tip. Airport crowds moved around her. Normally, being with too many people made her nervous. Just one more legacy from her training. Today she ignored the businessmen, the woman traveling with a toddler and an infant. She ignored the families on vacation and the automatic announcement about the area in front of the terminal being for unloading passengers only. She was going home.
Usually that excited her. Home meant long days resting, building up reserves to face the next mission. But this time home meant something else. Facing the past, which was always kind of scary, and facing the future, which terrified her. How was she supposed to know what to do with the rest of her life? How would she know which was
