workers, got in the ingredients, all for nothing. We got an extra dozen or so orders and that was it.”
Nicole shrugged. “It was back when you and I weren’t speaking, so I wasn’t thrilled.”
“I’m sorry,” Claire told her.
The bitch of it was, she meant it, Nicole thought. “You’re too soft-hearted.”
“You’re too mean, but I love you anyway.”
“I don’t want to be mean,” Nicole said, knowing that might be something she couldn’t change. “I’m so proud of what Jesse’s done. She had that kid all on her own and she’s done a good job with him. She’s all grown-up and capable. That’s a good thing. I should be happy.”
“But you’re not,” Claire said and hugged her. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. She’s my sister. I love her so much and I can’t seem to let go of the past. I can’t seem to trust her to get it right. I’m angry and resentful. Why can’t I talk about the good stuff? She went to college. Did she tell you that? She got her AA by herself while raising Gabe and working full-time. Without any help. Who does that? Amazing people. People who are way better than me.”
Nicole sucked in a breath so she wouldn’t cry. “I miss her and I love her and I think I hate her. What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re human.”
“I’m a total bitch. I need to let the past go. I want to.”
“Do you?”
Nicole continued to fight tears. “I hate it when you’re insightful, but go ahead. Say it. You should and I probably need to hear it.”
“If Jesse isn’t the villain then you have to deal with why your first marriage failed. You have to accept responsibility.”
“Why would I care about that? It’s been five years. I love Hawk. Drew’s long gone and I would never want him back.”
“This isn’t about him. It’s about you. It’s about admitting you screwed up.”
“I accept responsibility for what I do wrong,” Nicole said, feeling a little stung. “Jesse’s the one who always-”
Except Jesse wasn’t like that anymore. Jesse seemed to have her act together.
“I’m happy she’s back,” Nicole said. “I just don’t know how to deal with all the crap that’s coming to the surface.”
“You’ll figure it out.”
“I’d better. I don’t want to lose her again.”
“DOES MY DADDY LIKE ME?” Gabe asked.
Jesse wished she wasn’t driving so that she could pull her son into her arms and hug him until he never had to think anything bad again in his whole life.
“He does like you,” she said instead. “He likes you a lot. But he doesn’t have any experience around kids, so he doesn’t know what to say. That makes him afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. Grown-ups really hate that, so instead of making a mistake, he won’t do anything.”
Was this too much information for a four-year-old? Sometimes she just wasn’t sure.
“But it’s okay to make a mistake as long as you say you’re sorry,” Gabe said.
She laughed. “It is and I’ll remind him of that.”
“Good. Because I want him to be my daddy.”
“I want that, too,” she said and climbed out of the car.
She helped him out of his car seat, then collected the board games she’d brought for the evening at Matt’s house.
Getting together had been her suggestion. She’d been nervous about calling after their encounter in his office, but as getting Gabe and his father connected was a major part of her reason for moving back to Seattle, it seemed silly to avoid him just because of how easily he caused her thighs to go up in flames. That was her problem, not his, and she would deal with it like a grown-up.
They walked up to the large double doors in front of Matt’s house. Gabe looked around. “Is this a hotel, Mommy?”
“No. It’s just a big house.”
Gabe looked confused. “Is there another family here?”
“No, honey. Just your daddy.”
“Just him?”
Jesse remembered the redhead who had been there when she’d first shown up. “Most of the time.”
She wasn’t going to think about Matt’s other women or their kiss or anything else that could cause a problem. Tonight was about her son and his father and making sure they learned how to communicate.
The door opened before she could ring the bell. Matt stood there, all tall and sexy in jeans and a T-shirt. Casual. It was a good look for him. Of course, so was naked, although she’d promised herself not to think about that.
“Hi,” she said, suddenly feeling nervous.
“Hi, yourself.” He glanced down. “Hi, Gabe.”
Her son seemed to brace himself. “Hello,” he said quietly.
“Want to come in?” Matt asked.
Gabe looked at her, then nodded and walked into the house. Jesse followed him.
The entryway was as big as her rental back in Spokane, she thought as she stared at the wall in front of them. It was two stories high, with water rushing down.
Gabe stared wide-eyed. “It’s raining
She thought about explaining that it was a water feature, albeit an expensive one. But maybe it was better to let her son think it was actual rain.
“I see,” she said. “Pretty cool, huh?”
Matt walked over to a side wall and flipped a switch. Instantly the water on the wall fell into the pool below, then there was silence.
Gabe’s expression turned to awe. “You can do that?”
Matt grinned. “So can you. Come on. I’ll show you.”
The switch was a little high. Jesse started to move toward them, but Matt simply reached down, grabbed Gabe around the waist and lifted him so he could reach. The boy turned on the switch and the water began to fall again.
Gabe laughed. “Mommy, can we have one of these?”
“Not for a while,” she said, thinking there was a whole lot of other stuff they needed first. Of course, she didn’t have Matt’s millions.
He put Gabe down. “I’m ready to play some games,” Matt told him. “What about you?”
Gabe nodded.
“Through here,” Matt said, leading them down a short hall, past a kitchen large enough to serve two hundred and into an open family room. At least Jesse assumed it was a family room. The ceiling stretched up a couple of stories. There were wall-to-wall windows with a perfect view of Lake Washington. The fireplace could double as a guest room if it wasn’t in use and there were four sofas scattered throughout the space.
Who lived like this? Okay, obviously Matt did, which was so weird. What had happened to the guy who’d complained that a three-bedroom town house was too big?
He went toward a sofa, but Gabe dropped onto the soft rug by the fireplace. Jesse smiled at Matt. “We play on the floor.”
He looked doubtful, but joined them.
She set down the games she’d brought. “Chutes and Ladders and Candyland. Two perennial favorites.” She glanced at Gabe and grinned. “Let’s start with the easier one first. He’s new to this.”
Gabe laughed and reached for Chutes and Ladders.
Jesse set up the game. “Do I need to explain the rules?” she asked, thinking that teasing him would help with the sexual awareness she felt arcing between them. If they were laughing and focused on Gabe or the game, it was
