“You’re just standing there, so calm and reasonable,” he said, his eyes dark with passion. “You’re naked, Jess, and that’s not something I can ignore.”
“I’m wearing a robe.”
“
His? Not one of the girls’?
The pain in her stomach faded as if it had never been. “I can solve the problem of the robe,” she murmured and shrugged out of it.
The heavy fabric fell instantly, pooling at her feet. His breath hissed, then he was touching her everywhere, his hands skimming her body. She gave herself over to him, kissing him, touching him, feeling the hard planes of his body, so wonderfully familiar.
He pulled back enough to jerk open his shirt. Buttons popped and scattered. He threw the ruined shirt on the floor, quickly removed his shoes, socks, jeans and briefs, then grabbed her around the waist and tumbled them both onto the bed.
They landed on the soft sheets, legs tangling, bodies touching. His erection pressed against her bare belly, his mouth on hers, his hands reached for her breasts. Heat was everywhere. She was already wet and swollen, just from being close to him. She felt herself drowning in sensation. The combination of past and present was too much, and exactly what she wanted.
He shifted so he could brace himself on the mattress, then gazed down at her. “You’re so beautiful,” he said as he stroked her hair. “You haven’t changed.”
There were a few changes, she thought, but they were mostly on the inside and she didn’t want to talk about them.
“Matt,” she said, loving the sound of his name.
He rubbed himself against her thigh, then groaned. “You’ve always had that power over me. What is it?”
“I don’t know. Chemistry.”
“Something.”
He bent down and took her nipple in his mouth. The combination of tongue and lips caused her to arch her back. Her body clenched in anticipation. Wanting built, along with pressure.
He moved to her other breast, pushing her further along the road. She squirmed as her body began to remember how good all this could be. He licked her tight nipple, then sucked, causing her to gasp.
Each time he drew her deeply into his mouth, there was an answer pulse low in her belly. A flare of desire. She began to shift her hips, trying to hurry him along. Preliminaries were nice, but it was like being at a cocktail party when she was starving for dinner.
She could feel how swollen she was. Long dormant parts were insistent that it was time. She wanted to come, but it wasn’t so much about the orgasm as it was about coming specifically with Matt. She wanted to know if it was still the same between them.
“Be in me,” she breathed.
If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. His dark gaze found hers for a second, then he nodded. He opened the nightstand drawer, pulled out a condom, then put it on.
She parted her legs and braced herself. Did that part shrink from lack of use? Had having a baby made anything different? Was there-
He pushed against her. Despite being wet and ready, she was tight, she thought as he eased inside. Tighter than she remembered.
Inch by inch he filled her, stretching her. Nerves began to quiver, then dance as he rubbed them, going deeper and deeper. It was as if he could go deep enough to touch her soul.
She pushed down as he pushed in, taking all of him, feeling full for the first time since…since…since the last time.
He withdrew and thrust in again. Her body tensed, prepared for release. While Jesse knew it was going to be good, she was almost disconnected from the process. Because this moment wasn’t about sex for her. It never had been. It was about finding the connection with the only man she’d ever loved.
Everything was different, she thought sadly. Everything was technically better. His pace, the intensity. He shifted so he was able to reach between them and rub that one swollen spot. It pushed her over the edge in a matter of seconds. Even as her orgasm claimed her, she knew it was as much about technique as anything else.
Then she was lost in the wave and nothing else mattered. There was only the release and all that went with it. She came and came as he filled her and withdrew. The pleasure was endless, causing her to hang on to him, gasp for breath.
When he came himself, she allowed herself to believe it was just like before. That they were together and he loved her and nothing else mattered. It was a beautiful dream that ended when her body was finally still.
He withdrew, then stretched out beside her. They faced each other as they had dozens of times before. She wanted to believe she saw something in his eyes, something that meant he’d felt the pull from the past, too. But she knew that was just wishful thinking on her part. Nothing more.
“That was unexpected,” he told her. One side of his mouth turned up. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“Me, either.”
He touched her cheek, a tender gesture that made her throat get all tight. “Jesse…”
She waited, not breathing, praying that he would say something, anything, to make her believe that there was still a spark between them. That he regretted letting her go all those years ago. That he’d been wrong to judge her and wanted to make it up to her.
He withdrew his hand.
“I’m sorry about the fire,” he told her.
Right. The fire. For a few minutes, she managed to forget the destruction. She rolled onto her back and pulled up the covers.
“We have a plan. We’ll see how well it works.”
“You’ll figure it out,” he told her.
She nodded. At least thinking about the five million things she had to do so the business could be up and running again meant she didn’t have to think about Matt. Business was a whole lot easier to deal with.
“I can’t believe Gabe and I were here last night,” she said. “It feels like weeks ago.”
“Thanks for bringing him over. I want to get to know him more.”
She looked at him and smiled. “You were doing much better.”
“He’s a good kid.”
The right words, but did he mean them? Did he see Gabe as his child yet? Had being apart for those first few years destroyed the relationship they should have had? Was that her fault?
She’d always comforted herself with the fact that she’d been very clear about the baby being Matt’s. He’d been the one to refuse to believe her. But now she wondered if she’d tried hard enough. He’d complained that she hadn’t bothered to tell him after Gabe was born. Maybe he had a point. Maybe she should have called or something. Not that he would have listened, but she could have tried harder.
“Do you want to try some one-on-one time with him?” she asked. “You could take him to the aquarium.”
Matt sat up. “Am I ready for that?”
“Probably not, but you’re only going to get ready by doing it. The aquarium gives you something to talk about. He’s small, he won’t last long before getting tired. You’ll spend more time driving there and back than actually looking at the fish.” She frowned. “I guess you’ll have to borrow my car, or your mom’s.” She smiled. “Hers is newer and probably less embarrassing for you.”
He shook his head. “I’ll buy something. What’s the safest car out there? A Volvo? I’ll do some research online.”
Now she sat up. “Matt, you don’t have to buy a car to take Gabe out. That’s crazy.”
“Why? He’s my son. I’ll be seeing more of him. I need a safe car. I’ll get one this week.”
Of course he would. Because for him, buying a new car was as much an expense as her picking up a pack of gum.
She slid back down in the bed and sighed. Everything was different. On the surface it all looked familiar, but that was an illusion. They’d all changed and pretending otherwise didn’t alter reality.
