moment.
“You shouldn’t have to warn me,” he said, letting the frustration and anger boil up inside of him. “I should know.”
She looked confused. “How could you? You haven’t spent any time with Gabe.”
“You’re right. I haven’t. Whose fault is that? Who made sure I didn’t get to know my son?”
She took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest. “You did,” she told him. “You refused to believe the baby was yours, so don’t put this on me.” Only she didn’t sound totally convinced of what she was saying.
He had a reputation for being a ruthless bastard and he’d earned it by never letting a moment of weakness go unexploited.
“It’s more than that,” he said, narrowing his gaze. “You knew there was no way I would believe you after what I’d found out.”
“No,” she snapped. “Not found out. After what you’d been told. I never slept with Drew, remember? There was nothing to find out.”
“All right. You knew I wouldn’t believe you after what I’d been told. You knew I’d think you’d gone back to your old ways-if you’d even given them up. But did you try to convince me again? Did you bother to get in touch with me after you had Gabe?”
“You didn’t come looking for me. You didn’t bother to find out.”
“I wasn’t the one who was pregnant,” he yelled. “You had a responsibility to give me the chance to be a father. You took that from me. You stole four years of my son’s life and there’s no way for me to get that back. You didn’t have the right, Jesse.”
She seemed to shrink into herself. “I wanted you to know him,” she said, obviously fighting tears.
“No, you didn’t. You liked being a single parent. You liked being right and thinking I was nothing more than the bastard who let you down. You got to play the victim card and that was always your favorite.”
She raised her hand like she was going to slap him. He grabbed her wrist. “Don’t.”
“Stop attacking me.”
“I’m telling the truth,” he said coldly. “You’re the one who is suddenly so big on the truth. You kept him from me on purpose. You were punishing me for not believing you.”
“Maybe I was,” she screamed and pulled her hand free. “Maybe I was. You hurt me, Matt. You said you loved me. You said you’d always be there for me but at the first sign of trouble, you couldn’t get rid of me fast enough. You never meant anything you said.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You’re the one who couldn’t handle our relationship. You’re the one who ran.”
She flinched. “Maybe, but you didn’t come after me and I know why. You were already having regrets about us. You wanted out and I gave you a convenient excuse.”
She couldn’t have been more wrong, he thought, remembering how it had felt to hear his mother tell him Jesse had been cheating on him for their entire relationship. He wouldn’t have believed Paula-he knew she wanted Jesse gone. But learning that Nicole had thrown her sister out of her house for sleeping with Drew had made the impossible real to him.
He’d been beyond devastated. Her betrayal had made him question everything they’d had together, made him question himself. In the dark, ugly pain of losing her, he’d vowed to never care about anyone ever again.
“If you think I wanted out, you didn’t know me at all,” he told her.
“Just like you didn’t know me,” she whispered. “What was it you said? Once a slut always a slut?”
He’d regretted the words as soon as he’d said them. Now was the moment to tell her he was sorry. But he was so angry about Gabe, so enraged at what she’d done, that instead he said, “My opinion hasn’t changed.”
“How dare you?”
He noticed she didn’t try to slap him again.
“It’s pretty easy, Jess,” he told her, deliberately trying to provoke her. “Gabe talks about his ‘uncles’ all the time.”
“I’ve told you who they are.”
“Yeah. You’ve told me.” His tone made it obvious he didn’t believe her. “Why did you come back? Was this just more of your game? You wanted to make sure you showed me exactly what I’d been missing? You wanted me to suffer more? You picked a hell of a good way to do it. What I’ve lost with my child can never be recovered. You deliberately stole that. You decided I wasn’t going to be his father in anything but name and you made that happen.”
She went pale. “That’s not what I wanted,” she whispered. “Matt, no. You can’t believe that. If you could have seen how you looked at me five years ago. Do you know what you said to me? How you destroyed me? I wasn’t punishing you. I swear. I was trying to survive. I was so torn up inside, so hurt.”
He wasn’t impressed. He might have started with the idea of taking Gabe away from her as punishment, but now that he was realizing all that had been lost, he wanted her to feel what he was feeling now. The sense of knowing the past could never be recovered.
“You were wrong not to give me a chance,” he told her. “Nothing I said justifies what you did.”
Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She started to speak, then stopped and shook her head. He felt her pain and did his best not to give a damn. She’d earned this.
“It wasn’t what you think,” she said.
“Does it matter? The end result is the same.”
A truck pulled up behind his car. He barely noticed. Jesse wiped her face, turned at the sound of a door slamming, then stunned him by running past him and launching herself at the man who’d just climbed out of the truck.
Matt eyed the two of them, hugging. His irritation cranked up a notch when the other guy wiped her face, then kissed her forehead.
He crossed to them, prepared to do battle, only to come to a stop when they faced him.
“Are you responsible for making my best girl cry?” Jesse’s friend asked.
Matt stared at him. This guy was old enough to be her grandfather, though tan, and still straight and tall. Under other circumstances, Matt would have instinctively liked him.
“She did that to herself,” Matt told him.
Jesse wiped away the rest of her tears. “Matt, this is Bill. Bill, this is Gabe’s father.”
The old guy eyed Matt. “You’ve had a bit of a shock. How you taking it?”
“Not well.”
“Jesse did the best she could.”
She had a champion, he thought grimly, not liking the situation. “She had a responsibility to tell me the truth.”
Bill looked at Jesse. “Is he an asshole? Do I need to beat the crap out of him?”
Matt was more than willing to take the old guy on. Except he couldn’t, what with Bill being twice his age.
“He’s okay,” Jesse said. “We’re working our way through it.”
Bill studied him for a few seconds. “If you say so, darlin’.”
Bill had his arm around her. She seemed very comfortable next to him. Yet looking at them, Matt
Which should have made him feel better, but didn’t.
Jesse knew she should probably be standing on her own two feet, but it felt good to be leaning on Bill, even for just a couple of minutes. He’d always been there for her and right now she needed a friend.
Matt’s accusations still rang in her ears, making her feel small and petty.
He was wrong, of course. He had to be wrong. She hadn’t been punishing him by keeping his son from him. Had she? While she’d never thought of that as her motive, was it possible that deep inside she’d wanted to hurt him back? Hurt him as much as he’d hurt her? Was she really that horrible a person?
It was too much to consider, so she focused on Bill. They walked up to the house, Matt coming with them. She ushered Bill inside, only to have Gabe come running into the room, then launch himself at the older man.
“Uncle Bill! Uncle Bill!”
The boy’s joy was impossible to miss. Jesse glanced at Matt. His face didn’t show any emotion, but she saw
