“He goes to bed early,” Matt said, glancing at the clock.
“He still needs a lot of sleep. He was taking naps until his last birthday.”
Matt nodded without saying anything. She had a feeling he was thinking he should know that.
“How late will my mom be out?” he asked.
“They’re going to dinner, then catching a late movie.” This was the first time Paula and Bill had gone out together. Jesse was excited for them but Matt didn’t seem that thrilled.
“You okay here on your own?”
She nodded. Being by herself with Gabe wasn’t anything new. She’d lived it for years.
Guilt flared up inside of her and made her hate herself. She looked at the man she’d wanted to love forever and wished everything could have been different.
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, wanting to get it all out at once. “I’m really sorry I kept Gabe from you. You were right about all that. I knew you didn’t believe me and I couldn’t seem to see past that. I kept waiting for you to come after me, to find me and tell me you were wrong or at least that you were willing to listen to me. I never thought about it from your perspective. That you hadn’t believed me when I said the baby was yours. I should have given you another chance to know him. I should have called when he was born.”
She paused because her throat hurt and it was hard to get out the words. She felt awful inside.
“I was wrong,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
Matt stood there, looking at her, judging her, she knew. “I can’t get that time back.”
It was like he’d stabbed her. “I know.”
“You didn’t have the right.”
If only she could go back in time and undo all her mistakes.
He reached out and grabbed her, then pulled her close. “Dammit, Jesse, what am I going to do with you?”
Before she could figure out what he meant, his mouth was on hers.
The kiss was hot and tempting, an unexpected reaction to their conversation. He held her against him as if he would never let go.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful? she thought as she gave in to the sweet, erotic pressure of his lips on hers. She kissed him back, pressing against him, trying to let her body speak for her. Trying to let it say how much he mattered, how sorry she was, how she wanted things to be different.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding on as if she would never let go. When his tongue swept across her lower lip, she parted for him and groaned when he pushed inside.
They teased each other, touching, brushing, circling. He ran his hands up and down her back, then raised them and cupped her face.
“I want you, Jess,” he breathed.
Magic words, she thought as her blood heated and need made her insides quiver. Words she’d waited a long time to hear.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
WITHOUT SPEAKING, JESSE took Matt’s hand and led him down the hall, to her room. Once inside, he shut the door, then drew her close and kissed her. At the same time, he cupped her butt, causing her to arch against him. He was already hard.
Liquid heat settled between her legs, making her long for more than just standing and kissing. She wanted them naked, touching, pleasuring each other. Somehow this wasn’t like the last time. Maybe because the emotional connection had returned.
He nudged her backward until she felt the bed behind her thighs, then he gently lowered her down on the mattress, with her legs dangling to the floor. He bent over her and pulled up her T-shirt, then kissed her belly.
He tickled and teased, kissing, licking, blowing on her skin. It was just her stomach-it shouldn’t have done much more than tickle. Yet her breasts swelled and she squirmed, wanting him to touch her lower.
She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it off. Matt smiled. “That’s my girl.”
He slid a hand under her and unfastened her bra, then removed it. She was bare to the waist and breath less in anticipation.
Her nipples ached for his touch. She wanted him kissing her there, licking and sucking. Wanting grew as she imagined the sensation. Her hips pulsed slightly. He bent down and pressed his mouth to hers. At the same time, he lightly stroked her breasts, exploring the curves, circling around, getting close but never actually touching her nipples.
She felt them getting hard. An ache began, low in her belly. She was hot and wet and more than ready. She wanted to push off her jeans and panties and beg him to fill her.
Sure the kissing was great. She loved closing her lips around his tongue and sucking so that he stiffened and groaned. She enjoyed the feel of his hard muscles, the thudding of his heart, the anticipation, but could he get to it already?
He pulled back slightly and trailed his mouth down the side of her neck. She held her breath as he got closer and closer to her breasts, then he moved between them and back to her belly.
She gasped in disappointment.
He raised his head. She saw the teasing light in his eyes. “What?” he asked innocently.
“You know what.”
His expression turned both passionate and knowing. “This?” he asked, flicking his tongue against her nipple. “Is this it?”
She groaned. Warmth and need poured through her, settling between her legs.
He did all that she’d imagined and more. He made love to her breasts until she was both tense and ready to explode. It was as if there was a direct connection between her chest and that spot between her thighs.
He sucked hard enough to make her groan and nearly come, all the while running his hands up and down her arms. Then he reached for the waistband of her jeans and unfastened the button. He lowered the zipper, then pulled off the rest of her clothes.
When she was naked, he knelt on the floor, parted her and kissed her between her legs. She was exposed and had nothing to brace herself on, nothing to do but enjoy the moment and give in to him.
He relearned all of her, finding familiar places that made her tremble and lose control. As he zeroed in on that one spot, she found herself racing toward her climax and did her best to hold back. Not yet, she thought. Not so fast.
She clutched at the bed, then when he withdrew slightly, pushed herself toward him. He couldn’t stop, she thought as her muscles tensed and the inevitable pleasure loomed closer. Not yet.
He licked her over and over again, then slipped a finger inside of her, imitating the final act of lovemaking. She felt the exact second he curled up his finger, so he touched her clit from the inside as well as with his tongue.
The pleasure was exquisite. Every muscle in her body tightened. She wanted to lose herself in the moment, but just as much she wanted to give herself to him…to this. She wanted him to make her come, as if that act would somehow heal them both.
Then she couldn’t think because it felt too good. There was too much, the touching, the rubbing. Tension grew until it was easy to simply give in to the pressure and let the thunder shake her into her release.
She writhed as her body surrendered to his touch. She groaned and gasped, then rode the climax as he drew it out, moving just as quickly but more gently, exactly the way she liked. As if he’d remembered what pleased her.
When she was done, she opened her eyes and found him staring at her intently. His eyes were dark with need and his mouth twisted slightly.
“What?” she asked, suddenly worried. “Are you okay?”
“No.” He stood up and swore, then began ripping at his clothes. “I nearly lost it while you were coming. I’m too old for that. What the hell are you doing to me?”
His shirt went flying. He kicked off his shoes, ripped off his socks, then pulled a condom out of his pocket and dropped his pants. He was already hard and, judging from his breathing, more than ready to be inside of her.
