“You don’t look fine,” Izzy said, then held up both hands. “Sorry. I don’t mean that in a bad way. You look great, but maybe a little sad. Really sad.”
“I’m not happy,” she said. “No surprise there. I’m dealing. Right now that seems like a win.”
Skye hugged her. “Cruz will come around. You’ll see.”
Lexi didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t want to be disappointed by hope again. “I don’t think so. He wants what we had before. An arrangement. Nothing messy like a real relationship. He’s not interested in being in love.”
She was pleased that she got all that out without breaking down. Maybe she was on the road to accepting the inevitable. There was just one more thing to share.
“I’m pregnant.”
Izzy and Skye gaped at her.
“For sure?” Skye asked.
“I’ve peed on enough sticks to be very confident.”
“Are you happy?” Izzy asked.
Despite everything, Lexi smiled. “I am. I want this baby. With or without Cruz.”
“Did you tell him?” Dana asked.
“He knows.”
“And?”
“He didn’t take it well. Not that he screamed or anything. He just left.”
“I never thought of Cruz as a screamer,” Izzy said. “If he is, I don’t want to know.”
“You can’t still like him,” Skye said. “He hurt Lexi. We’re all on her side.”
“I’m not saying he should come for a sleepover, but I’m not ready to write him off.”
“I am,” Dana growled. “I’d like to beat the crap out of him.” She shrugged. “I won’t, for a lot of reasons.”
“Not sure you could take him?” Izzy teased.
“I could take him. Cruz would have trouble beating up a woman and that would give me the advantage.”
“Okay. Maybe, but that’s not what we’re talking about.” Izzy leaned toward Lexi. “I still think he’s going to come around. You started with one thing and changed it. He has to get used to the new rules. It’s not like he said he didn’t want anything to do with you.”
Lexi sort of saw her point, although she didn’t want to. “I’m not interested in an arranged marriage.”
“Maybe not, but a couple of months ago you were open to a pretend engagement. He’s taking steps. If you really love him, I wouldn’t write him off just yet.”
Skye tapped her chin. “As a rule, I don’t suggest taking advice from Izzy, but in this case, she might be right.”
Izzy rolled her eyes. “I’m right. You know I’m right.”
“There’s a baby,” Skye said. “That changes everything.”
Lexi looked at Dana.
“I don’t know,” Dana said. “You’re not exactly ready to go out and date someone else.”
“No.”
Lexi couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be with someone else. With Cruz she could be herself-a unique experience. There was no holding back, no worrying about being judged or used. He was upfront and honest. Sometimes he made her crazy, but she could live with that.
“So give it time,” Dana said. “Maybe he’ll figure it out. Maybe he won’t. But you’re not ready to give up on him. You still love him. If you didn’t, none of this would be a problem.”
“You’re right,” Lexi said. “If I was ready to walk away, I wouldn’t care that he didn’t love me. I would be happy. But I do care.” She could feel the tears burning in her eyes. “I want him to want me as much as I want him. I want us to be in love.”
“Oh, sure,” Izzy grumbled. “It’s all about you.”
The unexpected response made Lexi laugh. The others joined in and her mood lifted.
“Yes,” she said, smiling. “It is all about me.”
“I hate that,” Izzy grumbled. “I like being the center of attention.”
“We know,” Skye told her. “It’s your thing.”
The pain lingered, reminding her with every breath that she missed Cruz more than she could explain. He was a part of her, whether he wanted to be or not. But she had no idea how it was going to end.
Whatever the outcome, she had her sisters, including Dana. They would be there for her just like she would be there for them. It would be enough, she told herself.
MANNY TURNED burgers on the grill. Eight or so kids, some his, some from the neighborhood, ran around the large backyard playing a game Cruz couldn’t figure out. It was warm, sunny-a perfect Sunday afternoon.
“You’re an idiot,” his friend said, then reached for his beer.
“Don’t hold back,” Cruz told him. “Tell me what you really think.”
“You’re an idiot,” Manny repeated, apparently not concerned that Cruz stood five inches taller and outweighed him by forty pounds. “I’m getting tired of saying it. Lexi’s good for you. She’s a beautiful woman, and not just on the outside. She tells you she’s in love with you and having your baby and what do you do?”
“Walk,” Cruz muttered, thinking he should have stayed home instead of accepting his friend’s invitation. But the house he’d always thought of as his sanctuary no longer welcomed him. He couldn’t be anywhere inside without thinking of Lexi, missing her, needing her, wanting her back.
“You walk,” Manny said. He muttered something in Spanish.
Cruz didn’t catch it but he also didn’t ask him to repeat it.
“It’s all there for the taking,” his friend continued. “She hands you everything you could ever want. But do you take it? No.”
“You don’t need me here for this conversation, do you?” Cruz asked.
Manny ignored him. “I could understand if it was something difficult. Like she wanted you to take out your own kidney. But admitting you’re in love with her-that’s easy.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” There was a part of Cruz that wanted what his friend had. What everyone else found so easy. But the rest of him knew the danger and wasn’t willing to go there.
“It
“You don’t understand. I can’t ignore my past.”
“That’s so much bullshit, I wish I was wearing boots,” Manny growled. “Your old man was a loser. So what? You got over it. Look at how successful you are. You made decisions and acted on them. You had a goal and now you’ve achieved it. You didn’t let your old man hold you back.”
“This is different.”
“No, it’s not. It’s exactly the same. He couldn’t keep a job, and you have an empire. You’re hiding behind your past because it’s easier than taking a chance. You’ve always been afraid. You’re a coward, Cruz. That’s what’s wrong.”
Cruz set his beer bottle on the countertop next to the built-in barbecue. Anger boiled inside him. Manny didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, damn him.
“You’re wrong,” he growled, waiting for the other man to step back. “It’s easy to have all the answers from where you stand. What have you ever done but stay in my shadow and rake in the money?”
“I took a chance on you.” Manny moved closer. “You think you can take me, kid? I’ll give you the first punch. Come on. If you’re so like your old man, how hard will it be? Hit me. You know you want to. Hit me.”
Cruz’s anger exploded, but before he could draw back his fist, it evaporated like rain in the desert. One second it was there, the next it was gone.
He didn’t want to fight Manny. Not because he was afraid. He knew he could take the older man easily. It wasn’t about power or strength or proving anything. This was Manny. Ernesto might have been the one to get his mother pregnant, but he wasn’t Cruz’s family. Manny had always been there-part big brother, part father. There was no way Cruz could fight him. He loved him.
“Not so much of your old man in you, after all,” Manny said softly.
Cruz felt it then-the emotion that had always been there. The one he’d never named. Love.
“I was there when you met Caro,” he said, more to himself than his friend. “I was best man at your wedding, I was there when all three of your kids were born.”
