Wife in Disguise

“You okay?” he asked.

She leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed. “That’s the fifth time you’ve asked me. I’m going to stop saying yes in a second.”

“I want to make sure I didn’t hurt you.”

“Del, you redefined my role in the universe, but you didn’t hurt me.” She snuggled closer and closed her eyes. “Thank you. That was spectacular.”

“I liked it, too.”

She shoved at his arm without opening her eyes. “Don’t you dare pretend it wasn’t amazing.”

He smoothed the hair from her face and smiled into the night. “Amazing works for me.”

Amazing and a bunch of other words like incredible or unbelievable. Sex with Josie had always been great, but tonight was one of the only times he remembered making love with her. There’d been a closeness, a connection he didn’t recall from their past. Being inside of her had changed everything. Or maybe it had just exposed the truth.

He was falling in love with her.

Del shifted so he could raise his free arm and slide his hand under his head. Josie’s slow breathing indicated that she was already falling asleep. He’d always appreciated that she wasn’t one of those women who liked to talk after sex. That hadn’t changed.

But many other things had, he thought, remembering her concerns about him looking at her scars. She’d been scared and vulnerable. Two very unnatural states for his ex-wife. But she’d faced down her fears, which was 100 percent Josie. He was having trouble reconciling the person she’d been, with the person she’d become.

The impatience was gone, as was her anger, he thought, although given what she’d been through in the past year it made sense that she would be more intense. Instead Josie had gentled. He felt different, as well. Maybe they’d used the time apart to grow up. Had they changed enough?

He stroked her hair and heard her murmur his name. If he was falling in love with her, what was going to happen now? He hadn’t allowed himself to think about the future, but here it was-looming.

He thought about all the women he’d been with after the divorce. He’d enjoyed them but he’d never loved anyone but Josie. She’d claimed his heart eight years ago, and he’d never bothered to get it back.

“I like you holding me,” she whispered in the dark, sounding sleepy. “You feel good.”

“You, too.”

“Was I…” Her voice trailed off. “Were you surprised?”

At first he thought she was asking about them making love. Then he realized she meant the scars. Had they shocked him? He thought about the lines on her legs. Some were pale, others were still red and thick. There were scars on her stomach, her arms and a thin one down the side of her left breast. Three years ago she’d been physically perfect. Today she was everything he wanted.

“I wasn’t surprised that it was still good between us,” he told her. “You always were a hot babe.”

She giggled. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” He turned and kissed her forehead. “The scars only matter to me because they meant you were in pain once. Otherwise, I don’t even see them.”

“But we had to do it differently. I couldn’t get in any weird positions.”

“I don’t care about that. I like doing it the old-fashioned way. Making love doesn’t have to be a sporting event every time.”

She sighed. “We used to do it standing up, Del. I can’t do that anymore.”

He pulled her tighter against her. “When you were gone, I missed the sound of your laughter and the way you smelled. I missed making love, but when I thought about that, I never once imagined us doing it against the door. I swear.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” She sighed and was still.

Del enjoyed the feel of her curves next to him. What exactly were they talking about, he wondered. It seemed to him they were skirting around the issue of their marriage. They were living in the same house and they’d just become lovers. Did that mean they were going to give it another try? He wanted to believe it might work, but he wasn’t sure. Josie had lived her life to be independent, and he wasn’t interested in a relationship in which he wasn’t needed. So where exactly did that leave them?

Chapter Fourteen

Del cooked steaks on a grill on the stove while Josie prepared the salad. He’d found a butcher-block cart that was the perfect height for her to use from her wheelchair. As she sliced cucumber, he checked on the meat.

Their conversation was as easy as their movements. Josie told herself not to read too much into the situation, but she couldn’t help hoping that Del thought things were going as well as she did. They’d been lovers now for three days…and nights. They’d been sleeping together in the same bed, reaching for each other in the darkness. Yesterday he’d come home for lunch, but they’d never exactly gotten to a meal. Instead he’d carried her into the bedroom and had made love with her. He treated her with affection, respect and tenderness, and she couldn’t help hoping that love was just around the corner. But she couldn’t be sure.

When he was at work, she sat alone berating herself for not having the courage to tell him how she felt. It should be so easy to say the words, to admit her feelings. He’d loved her once-couldn’t he learn to do it again? Or had there been too much time and damage?

“The kitchen cabinets are finished,” he was saying, speaking of the progress on her remodeling project. “I’ll be hanging them next week. In the meantime I’m getting started on the bathroom cabinets.”

“I can’t wait to see them.” She reached for a tomato. “How’s work coming on the master suite?”

“Great. We’re a couple of days ahead of schedule. Everything should be done in three weeks. Your new house will be all ready for you.”

His words should have made her happy, but they didn’t. She didn’t like thinking about moving out of Del’s home. She liked being here, with him. But she didn’t know how he felt. Was he enjoying their time together or did he want his old life back? When she was finally mobile was he going to give her a kiss goodbye and simply tell her thanks for the good time?

The thought made her chest ache. She hated that it took being in a wheelchair to make Del keep her around. That meant their living arrangement was all about convenience and not a matter of the heart. She’d been faithful about her physical therapy appointments and her exercises. She’d been resting, as well. Now all that was paying off. She was stronger than she’d been since the accident. When she stood in the shower, she no longer swayed like a drunken sailor. She knew that at her next doctor’s appointment she was going to get the all-clear to start using her cane again. Which meant there was no reason to stay here. She would have to move out and then what would happen?

She desperately wanted to ask but she was so afraid of his answer. She didn’t want to know that this had all been a game for him. A way to relive the past. She didn’t want to know that she no longer mattered.

She finished the salads and carried them to the table. Del turned over the steaks.

“What are you going to do with the house?” he asked, his back to her as he watched the grill. “Are you going to keep it or sell it?”

The unexpected question made her tense. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“You seem to be moving around better. I’m sure Dr. Sanders is going to be pleased when she sees you the first part of next week.”

It was as if Del could read her mind, she thought in panic. Was he making conversation or trying to get rid of her?

“I’ve been doing everything she told me,” she said weakly. “Doctors tend to like that in a patient.”