'What the hell do you mean?' he shouted. 'Are you breaking up? With
Annika cried, her head hitting the door. She tried pushing him back.
'Sven. Sven, listen to me-'
'Why the hell should I listen to you?' he screamed in her face. 'You've been lying to me the whole summer! You said you wanted to give it a go in Stockholm, but you never intended to come back here, did you? You lying bitch!'
Annika suddenly stopped crying and looked him straight in the eye. 'You're absolutely right. All I want is to be free of you.'
He let go, staring at her in disbelief.
She turned around, kicked the door open, and ran away.
Nineteen Years, Eleven Months, and Twenty-Five Days
Monday 10 September
Ho Lake sparkled like an icy sapphire in the morning sun. Annika walked slowly toward the water with Whiskas at her heels. The cat was bouncing and dancing around her feet, wild with happiness. She laughed and picked him up in her arms. The animal rubbed its nose against her chin, licked her neck, and purred like a machine.
'Aren't you the silliest little cat?' Annika said, and scratched him behind the ears.
She sat down on the jetty and looked out over the lake. The wind, gentle and mild, rippled the glittering surface. Annika screwed up her eyes and saw the flat, gray rocks across the lake rise out of the water and melt into the dark green wall of fir trees. Even farther away, where the lake ended and the real forest began, Old Gustav lived. She would look in on him someday. It had been a long time.
The future lay open before her like an unpainted watercolor. She could choose how she wanted to continue with the picture.
She'd make it warm and rich, she thought, light and bright.
The cat rolled itself up on her lap and fell asleep. She closed her eyes and let her fingers play with the animal's silky fur. She breathed deeply and was filled with an intense feeling of happiness. This is what living should be like, she mused.
Her grandmother called from the cottage. Annika straightened up, listened. Whiskas started and jumped down on the jetty. The old woman cupped her hands and called out, 'Breakfast!'
Annika ran up to the house. Whiskas thought it was a race and rushed off like a maniac. He lay in wait on the steps and attacked her feet. Annika picked up the wriggling animal, burrowed her nose in his fur, and blew on his stomach. 'What a silly kitty you are.'
Her grandmother had put yogurt and wild raspberries, rye bread and cheese, on the table. The smell of coffee wafted in the air. Annika realized how ravenous she was.
'No, get down,' she said to the cat, who was trying to jump up onto her lap.
'He's going to miss you,' her grandmother said.
Annika sighed. 'I'll come and visit often.'
Her grandmother served coffee in fine china cups. 'I want you to know that I think you're doing the right thing. You should concentrate on your work. I always thought that being able to support myself gave me a sense of self- esteem and satisfaction. You shouldn't be with a man who holds you back.'
They ate in silence. The sun was shining in through the window, making the surface of the plastic tablecloth soft and warm to the touch.
'Are there a lot of mushrooms?'
Her grandmother chuckled. 'I was just wondering how long it would be before you asked. The ground is covered!'
Annika jumped to her feet. 'I'll go out and get some for lunch.'
She dug out two plastic bags from a drawer and hurried out into the forest.
In the gloom of the forest, it took a few minutes before the pattern in the moss became visible to her blinking eyes. The ground really was covered with brown funnel chanterelles. They grew in clusters of hundreds, maybe thousands, on the edge of the forest clearing.
She filled both bags; it didn't even take her an hour. While she was picking the mushrooms, Whiskas caught two wood mice.
'Who's going to clean all these?' her grandmother said with mock alarm.
Annika laughed and emptied out the first bag on the table. 'Let's do it!'
As usual, cleaning the mushrooms took longer than picking them.
They each had fried bread with a mountain of fried funnel chanterelles for lunch.
'I've run out of milk and bread,' her grandmother said when they'd done the dishes.
'I'll cycle to the village and get some.'
The old woman smiled. 'That's nice of you.'
Annika combed her hair and got her bag. 'You stay with Grandma,' she said to the cat.
Whiskas wasn't listening but merrily jumped ahead of her toward the barrier.
'No,' Annika said, picking up the cat and carrying him back to the cottage. 'I'm going to ride on the road, where you could get run over. Stay here.'
The cat wriggled free and ran into the forest. Annika sighed.
'Put him inside when he comes back,' she told her grandmother. 'I don't want him running around on the road.'
With swinging arms she walked to her bike. The sun shone over the landscape, clear and bright. She saw the chrome of the bike, resting against the barrier, from a long distance.
She didn't realize that something was wrong until she reached the bike. She grabbed the handlebars and looked. Both tires were slashed, the saddle as well. She stared at it in disbelief, not quite knowing what she was looking at.
'That's just the beginning, you fucking whore!'
She gasped and looked up. Sven was standing a few yards away. She knew what was coming.
'I've smashed up your whole goddamn place. I've cut all your fucking whore's clothes to pieces.'
