Kookaburra Gambit

real PI!

It had become very clear to me that I had to prepare everyone at Kendall & Creeling for Aunt Millie's arrival. It just wouldn't be fair to have them caught unawares. First, my partner in the business had to be advised that someone was coming to town who'd give Fran a run for her money, and then some. Hell, she'd do Fran like a dinner.

Ariana was putting papers in her briefcase, ready to leave for the weekend. I knew she lived alone, apart from her gorgeous German shepherd, Gussie. I'd visited her house in the Hollywood Hills once, accompanied by Bob Verritt. It had been strictly business, worse luck.

The house was like her-elegant and self-contained. It had a fabulous view over Los Angeles. Maybe she often sat there with someone, admiring the city lights. Did she ever have dinner parties, like Harriet and Beth? Could Ariana even cook? There were so many things I didn't know about her-for example, the significance of the heavy gold signet ring she always wore.

'Got a mo?' I said. 'My Aunt Millie from Wollegudgerie is lobbing in on Wednesday.'

Ariana raised an eyebrow. It was a talent I didn't have but envied madly. 'Have you always been able to raise one eyebrow, or did you have to practice?' I asked.

That got Ariana's other eyebrow into play. Then she laughed and shook her head.

'What?' I said.

'I dimly remember practicing as a kid,' she answered, still smiling. 'I thought it was an incredibly sophisticated thing to do.'

That gave me a little thrill. Ariana was sharing something about her life with me. But I couldn't dwell on that; I had to give her an Aunt Millie alert.

'My aunt's flying in on Qantas.'

'You've already said she's coming to town.'

I knew I was stalling, so I made myself take the plunge. 'Fact is, Ariana, she's what you'd call a bit of a character.'

'Seems to run in the family,' Ariana remarked.

'I didn't mean a good character.'

'Your aunt's a criminal?' Ariana was grinning.

'No, but she has a very direct manner.'

'An excellent quality.'

'Don't laugh at me. This is serious.'

Ariana's smile disappeared. 'What's worrying you about your aunt's visit?'

'Aunt Millie prides herself on speaking her mind, and since she's dead-set down on most things, that means she's usually upsetting someone.'

'You means she's a pessimist?'

'I mean nothing ever seems to please her.'

Ariana chuckled. 'I can hardly wait to see Millie and Fran meet up.'

'I'm hoping to keep them apart.'

Ariana looked at me thoughtfully. 'This is a vacation for your aunt, is it?'

I debated whether to tell her the real reason behind Aunt Millie's trip. Maybe secretly Ariana still wanted to get rid of me and would be delighted to learn a family member was on the way to persuade me to come home.

My mum always says honesty is the best policy-she's big on cliches-so I said, 'Mum wants me back at the Wombat's Retreat. Says she needs me to help run the pub. She and Aunt Millie have been talking.'

'You mean your aunt's visit is to convince you to return to Australia?'

'Something like that.'

Ariana didn't appear to be chuffed with this news. Actually, she was frowning. 'What are your thoughts on this, Kylie?'

'I'm thinking Aunt Millie's trip is going to be a failure. And she won't be pleased.'

'Well, that's her problem, isn't it?' Ariana picked up her briefcase. 'Enjoy your weekend, and try not to worry about pesky relatives.'

'I'll try,' I said, without much hope I'd succeed.

I found Fran, Harriet, and Melodie in the kitchen. As I entered, Melodie was saying, 'Chicka's real nice, but he didn't even try to get to first base. He's shy, you know. So sweet!'

'I'd call it boring,' said Fran.

'Sounds refreshing to me,' said Harriet.

'Chicka's not boring,' declared Melodie emphatically, tossing her hair around. I'd always admired how she could do that without getting a mouthful. 'He's a producer.'

Fran glowered. 'Any fool can call themselves a producer. Quip meets with phonies calling themselves producers all the time.'

Melodie put her hands on her hips and glowered right back at Fran. 'Chicka Hartnidge is not a phony. He's practically guaranteed I can voice one of the puppets in his Oz Mob movie.'

'Really?' said Harriet, who unaccountably had missed out on this momentous news. 'Which one?'

'Chicka hasn't actually said yet.'

'A puppet's voice?' said Fran, lifting one side of her rosebud mouth. Great sneerer, Fran. 'Won't you be overextending your artistic range, Melodie?'

There could be violence any minute, so I stepped in. 'News flash, everyone. My Aunt Millie's coming to town next Wednesday. She's inclined to be critical and have a dark view of life. I'm telling you this so you won't take offense if she says something derogatory.'

'I for one,' said Fran, 'will take offense. I loathe negativity.' I couldn't help a hoot of laughter. Knowing I'd regret it, I cheerfully gave into temptation. 'Fran, old matey,' I said, 'you've single-handedly made negativity an art form.' Glower meltdown!

Nine

On Saturday morning a phone call from Bob Verritt interrupted my reading of the L.A. Times. Ariana had just called him about my suggestion of going undercover into the Hartnidges' Oz Mob operation in Burbank.

'My view is, it could work out well,' Bob said. 'Having someone on the inside could be a real advantage, if Alf and Chicka agree.'

'Ariana isn't too keen on the idea, is she?'

'I'm afraid not. She brought up the beating your face took last time you went undercover.'

Really indignant that Ariana clearly didn't believe I was capable of learning from my mistakes, I said, 'If she thinks I'm going to cower in the corner, she's got another thing coming.'

Bob chortled. 'She's convinced you'll do quite the opposite to cowering. That's the problem.'

'But she's not going to try and stop me?'

This seemed to amuse Bob even more. 'Ariana doesn't fight battles she knows she'll lose.'

Well, blow me down! It gave me a tingle of pleasure to think that just for once I had one up on Ariana.

We discussed the ins and outs of the undercover role I might play, then Bob rang off, saying he'd try to get hold of Alf and Chicka to sound them out about the idea.

My Saturday routine was to do laundry before I went out to stock up on provisions. Usually I took a moment to admire the washer and dryer setup I'd had installed, but this morning there were other things on my mind. I threw clothes into the washer with unnecessary force. It really irked me that Ariana didn't trust me not to be reckless.

This case was so important to me. For one thing, it had opals involved. And Aussies. I felt a momentary sisterhood with Melodie and her One Big Chance. This was my OBC. I could prove I had the makings of a private