Kookaburra Gambit

around, he'll be out on his ear.'

'Mum told me she loves him.'

'Love! In the long run it never leads to anything good. Addles your brains and ruins your common sense. I've no time for it.'

She gave me her best piercing look. It made my skin tingle. 'You're not in love, Kylie, are you? That's not what's keeping you here, is it?'

'Of course not,' I said, thinking of Ariana's blue, blue eyes.

Aunt Millie grunted, a singularly nasty sound. 'Of course everybody in the 'Gudge knows Raylene threw you over for that hairdresser, but I can't believe you're staying away just because of that.'

'I inherited half of Dad's business here in L.A., Aunt Millie. That's what's keeping me here.'

'Fifty-one percent, if I'm not mistaken. Controlling interest.' Aunt Millie had always been sharp as a tack over anything financial. That gave me an idea.

'Aunt, why don't you help Mum with the Wombat's Retreat? You've always been terrific with anything to do with money.'

Silence. I looked over to see why. Her face was squinched in a thunderous scowl. 'Aunt Millie?'

'I offered,' she ground out. 'Your mother turned me down flat. I have no idea why.'

I did.

The accommodation I'd booked for my aunt was a mid-range hotel off the Sunset Strip and deliberately not within walking distance of Kendall & Creeling, unless you wanted a long slog uphill.

I'd originally suggested a motel as a less expensive alternative, but my aunt had been convinced the odds were any motel situated near the infamously sinful Sunset Strip was likely to be a house of ill repute, frequented by individuals with corrupt sexual appetites. She wanted none of that, thank you.

I got her settled into the hotel and left her eyeing the mini-bar. Although she rarely drank alcohol, Aunt Millie was a great believer in the medicinal powers of brandy as a pick-me-up. I'd have mentioned to her brandy could also be quite a throw-me-down, especially when one was jet-lagged, but Aunt Millie never took advice, particularly from feckless nieces like me.

I'd hardly walked through the door at work before Melodie demanded, 'Where's your Aunt Millie?'

'I left her back at her hotel.'

'Bummer.'

I regarded Melodie with deep suspicion. 'Why do you want to know where my aunt is?'

Melodie blinked innocent green eyes. 'No particular reason.'

Lonnie came hurrying down the hall. I knew it was him before I saw him, because he favored one leg, just a little, so he had a very identifiable gait. 'Is Kylie on her way back?' he called. Then he saw me. 'Oh, hello. You're here.' He gazed past me hopefully.

'Aunt Millie isn't with me,' I said.

Usually Lonnie and I got on very well, but since I'd snarled at him on Monday because he'd gone and told Fran and Melodie about my singing during the meeting, he'd been rather distant.

'Kylie's left her aunt at the hotel,' said Melodie.

'What's going on?' I demanded.

A sigh from Lonnie. 'You might as well tell her.'

Melodie tossed her head.' You tell her. It was your idea.'

'Oh, all right,' said Lonnie. 'We've got a bet with Fran about your aunt.'

'What kind of bet?'

'Fifty dollars says Fran can't be civil to your Aunt Millie for longer than thirty minutes. Time starts the moment they meet.'

'And Fran agreed to this?'

'Would you believe it, she did!' Lonnie cackled. 'Silly girl thinks she can control her essential nature.'

He gasped when from behind him, Fran snapped, 'Watch it! This silly girl will take you apart.'

'I'm out of here,' said Lonnie, scooting back the way he'd come.

Melodie and Fran both looked at me. 'The earliest you'll see my aunt is tomorrow,' I said. 'After her long trip, she's very tired.'

'Does music run in the family?' Fran inquired with a wicked smile. 'Does your Aunt Millie sing to herself, too?' Fran wasn't one to let things go.

To the best of my knowledge, my aunt was tone deaf. 'Opera,' I said. 'Lovely voice.'

'Another shipment of Oz Mob toys has arrived,' said Bob, coming into my office and folding himself up like a paint easel into a chair. 'Chicka called in a panic. You weren't here, so I spoke to him.'

'More opals?'

Bob nodded. 'The Kelvin Kookaburras are loaded with them. Same as before, Chicka says. Good quality black opals.'

At our advice, the Hartnidge brothers had rented a unit in a self-storage facility and were keeping all the toys shipped to them in that secure location. We had some of the smuggled gems in our safe in the offices, but it was more than likely that undetected stones were still concealed in the little bodies of other toys.

'I've been thinking,' I said to Bob. 'Maybe we should set a trap. Get Alf and Chicka to bring some of the Kelvin Kookas into the Burbank office and leave them there. Then see who acts suspiciously. Lonnie could set up a concealed video camera, couldn't he?'

'Nanny cams,' said Bob. 'Parents install them to check that the nanny minding their children isn't abusing the kids when no one's watching. We've handled a couple of cases recently.' He grimaced. 'Very upsetting.'

'Crikey,' I said, 'people can be gross, can't they? Anyone who touches a kid should be shot.'

My phone rang. It was Alf Hartnidge. 'All set, love? I'll be picking you up in forty minutes, OK?'

We'd arranged for me to meet the Burbank Oz Mob staff this afternoon as Alf's girlfriend. He'd be playing the successful entrepreneur, mega keen to impress me with his business.

'How do I look?' I said to Bob. 'Do I impress you as the sort Alf would have as a girlfriend?'

Bob gave me a long, critical examination. 'Higher heels,' he said. 'And more makeup.'

When I'd been shopping with Harriet a few weeks back, she'd persuaded me to buy one pair of really high heels, but so far I'd avoided wearing them, figuring I needed practice if I wasn't to sustain a serious ankle injury.

'High heels? You sure, Bob?'

'Yeah, I'm sure. A girlfriend of Alf Hartnidge's would wear high heels.'

I rarely wore much makeup, so I was no expert, but I knew someone who was. I made for the reception desk.

'Melodie, I need some help with my makeup.'

'Makeup?' She seemed astonished I'd need assistance in this area. 'You don't wear makeup, Kylie. You should, of course, but you don't.'

'I'm pretending to be Alf's girlfriend this afternoon, when I meet his staff. I need to look like she would look.'

'How much time have I got?' said Melodie, hauling one of her voluminous makeup bags from under her desk.

I checked my watch. 'About twenty-five minutes.' Melodie rolled her eyes. 'That's cutting it fine, but you've come to the right person.' She peered at my face. 'Twenty-five minutes?' she said. 'Even for me, it'll be a challenge.'

Alf arrived five minutes early, just as Melodie was putting the last touches to my face. I left them talking about Chicka and the movie and bolted back to my room to grab the high heels. When I tottered back on them, Alf was saying, 'It'll be Penny Platypus or Korinne Koala, or maybe Wendy Wallaby. Not sure yet, love. The rest of the cast hasn't been finalized. We're talking to Russell Crowe's people about getting him for Kelvin Kookaburra. No probs with the Aussie accent there.'

Melodie batted her eyelashes at him. 'Which is the biggest female part, Alf?'

'That'd be Penny Platypus, I reckon.'

'Penny Platypus…' Melodie gazed at the ceiling. I had the thought it might be a good idea to put a sign up there, possibly reading, get back to work!