I churned my hand up and down and round in circles, any way I could. My head was over his left shoulder and I was breathing through clenched teeth as he screamed just inches from the side of my face. He tried to bite me again, then hollered into my face like an animal.
But his bucking and writhing were less violent, his cries softer.
Kelly’s screams bounced off the walls again, then just stopped.
I felt as if I was drunk. I was aware of what was happening, but it was taking too long for the message to reach my brain. All I could see were bubbles of red light in front of my eyes, and starbursts of white.
Our faces were just millimetres apart when his grip loosened completely and his movements weakened to no more than a spasmodic twitching.
My software started to kick in as I tried to focus and get up, but the raincoat was tucked underneath him. I pulled as best I could until his body slumped to one side.
The back of my neck felt as if it could no longer hold on to my head. The starbursts and bubbles returned. I scrambled over the single bed and fell out into the darkness of the landing.
No other noise from anywhere, just the rain on the windows.
I stumbled to the door and reached for the handle, but I just couldn’t make my trembling hand take hold.
I turned for the stairs, wanting to get away, but my feet just froze.
Falling to my knees, my head against the door, I could only sob weakly as I smelt the metallic tang of blood.
Feelings of nausea and helplessness crashed over me. ‘Kelly . . . Kelly? Suzy? Please talk to me – please.
I didn’t want to go in. I just wanted to crawl away, pretend this wasn’t happening. But I had to.
I started banging at the door, screaming at it, begging for an answer. ‘Suzy, open the door, please. Kelly, Kelly . . .’
I slid to the floor, collapsing in a heap.
But I needed to see, I needed to be sure.
I had to go in.
A sliver of light came from under the door. I tugged at the handle, and tried to push my way in. It wouldn’t budge.
I pushed again, harder, and it did shift this time, but no more than a few inches. I knew why, and felt the tears roll down my face.
My hands shook and I lost control of my breathing.
My sight was fading. Blood dripped from my neck and leg as I pulled myself to my feet. I pushed the door again, and the dead weight behind it gave way some more.
It was Suzy who was blocking the door. A knife had been stuck into her neck; the tip of it was just visible the other side. Her eyes were closed, but on what I could see of her face through her blood-soaked hair, she seemed to have a little private smile.
I sank back to my knees, my vision blurred, and crawled through the gap.
The other two lay on the double bed. Navy was slumped face down across her, the back of his white shirt red with blood from the site of the exit wound.
‘
I crawled over and knelt at the edge of the bed. Tears, snot and saliva splashed off my face as I hauled at his arm with my last reserves of strength.
Sirens were approaching. Tyres screeched to a halt outside.
He fell to the side, half on top of me. Whimpering to myself, I kicked him off, then climbed on to the bed.
Orders were being shouted. The front door was getting rammed.
She lay perfectly still, as I’d seen her lie so many times when she was asleep – stretched out on her back, arms and legs out like a starfish. Except that this time there was no sucking of her bottom lip, no flickering of her eyes under their lids as she dreamed. Her head was twisted to the right, at far too unnatural an angle.
I could hear the rear-entry team in the house now as blue lights bounced against the windows and the front door finally gave in.
As I leaned over her, my tears fell on to her hair-covered face. I knew it was futile, but checked for a pulse anyway.
She was dead.
I dragged her to the edge of the bed and gathered her in my arms, trying to hold her as best I could as I stumbled back towards the doorway.
I placed Kelly gently beside Suzy, as the rooms below were cleared. They would be coming up the stairs soon, NBC kit and respirators on, weapons up.
I pulled the knife out of Suzy’s neck and threw it at the wall, then lay down between them, gathering their ragdoll heads in my arms and pulling them on to my chest.
With their foreheads touching, I buried my face in their hair.
62
Hunting Bear Path
Thursday 17 July, 11:12 hrs
A plume of black smoke belched from the JCB’s exhaust as it lined itself up on the corner of the house, churning the recently cut lawn beneath its giant wheels. Sunlight glinted on its steel bucket as the arm rose to first-floor level, then began to extend.
I folded Kelly’s well-creased letter into the photo page of her passport, and took another look at her face. Fuck knows how many times I’d done that since collecting the Vectra before Geoff could get back from the Gulf and find the wrong car in his garage.
Josh’s expression was unreadable behind his mirrored shades. He turned to the woman the other side of him and muttered, ‘Looks like a scorpion’s tail.’ Mrs Billman said something back, but I didn’t catch it above the digger’s roar. We were the only three this close to the house. The other neighbours were clustered on the road, too respectful to come further up the drive.
The bucket seemed to hesitate a second or two, then jerked forward. Mrs Billman raised her camera as steel crashed against weatherboarding. She’d asked if we minded her taking a photo or two, and how could we say no? It was a big occasion for the community. It wasn’t every day they got to buy a house for peanuts and then demolish it. The landscapers would be coming in soon to replace it with a fun park, complete with rubber floor and drinking fountain.
The whole house seemed to shudder, then Kev and Marsha’s bedroom wall surrendered to the sound of splintering wood and breaking glass. It had taken a while for me to decide to come and see this, but I’d known I had to. I needed to see this fucking nightmare through to the end.
I had brought Kelly back to the US the day her grandparents were cremated in Bromley, following the tragic gas leak at their bungalow. I didn’t know if Carmen’s sister had managed to make it over from Australia.
Josh had buried Kelly alongside the rest of her family. It was his first official engagement. There was standing room only in the church. I didn’t know whether she’d have been proud or embarrassed.
I recognized the principal’s secretary and her maths teacher, and I met her friend Vronnie afterwards. She’d looked strangely serene: I assumed she was fucked out of her head on Vicodin.
The funeral itself didn’t matter that much to me. I’d said my goodbyes as we lay there on the bedroom floor.
