I just said I needed him to get his arse up here to collect the girls, but only after five.
'Just give me two rings on the phone as you approach, and drive round the back of the house. Stay in the car, engine running, and they'll come out and jump in. Don't ask, mate, just do. I'll explain it all later, OK?'
I put down the receiver and picked up the tray. I carried it upstairs and tapped on the door. 'Everybody decent?'
'Enter.'
They were sitting up in bed, all smiles. I put the tray down in front of them with a flourish.
'OK.' I grinned. 'Not only breakfast in bed, but a huge surprise.'
Ruby looked excited. 'What kind of surprise?'
'You sure you're ready for this?'
'I'm sure, I'm sure!'
'OK, we're in Ireland, right?'
'Right.'
'And you know they do things differently in different countries?'
'Yes.'
'Well, guess what happens differently here? In Ireland, today is Christmas Day!'
They both looked at me like I'd gone mad.
'Yeah, it's a fact. Finish your breakfast, take as long as you like. When you come down, it's present time.'
Tallulah stared at me with an arched eyebrow.
I tried to signal back that I'd explain later, and turned for the door before she had time to react.
They didn't appear downstairs for another half hour. Good. Only another six or seven hours of daylight to go.
'Is it really Christmas early here, Nick? Tally says you're joking.'
'Well, she's right; but the thing is, I can't wait any longer. I'm too excited. I want you to open your present.'
Tallulah shot me another disapproving glance.
I shrugged. 'OK, I'd better break it to you guys gently. It's a terrible forecast, so I thought we should have something to keep us busy. It's going to tip with rain any minute, and pour all day.'
Tallulah went to the window and raised her hand to the curtain.
'No, Tallulah, let's leave them closed. Keep it cosy. Anyway, we'll need to be in the dark in a minute.'
She looked at me strangely, but complied.
'Here we go.' I handed Ruby a badly wrapped box about the size of three stacked DVD cases.
She tore it open and she was so ecstatic I thought the ceiling was going to fall in.
21
Two hours later, Ruby had beaten me to a pulp too many times to count on the Wii tennis court, and every time Tallulah asked me a question about what was going on I somehow fobbed her off. She'd given up in the end and disappeared into the kitchen.
'Lunch is ready.' Her voice floated in from next door.
I looked at Ruby. 'You ready, champ?'
She nodded reluctantly and put down her Wii remote. We followed the smell of food.
'It's not raining, Nick. It doesn't even look like it's going to rain.' It sounded as if Tallulah had had enough. 'Let's get out this afternoon. What about a walk on the beach?'
'Nah, I fancy staying round here. Let's watch some telly.'
I flicked it on. The politicians of Northern Ireland were having a Christmas love fest for the cameras. Richard Isham gave Ian Paisley the full voltage, everlastingly sincere two-handed shake. He was looking fatter and healthier than when I'd bodyguarded him during his informal talks with Downing Street, when he'd decided politics provided a quicker route to power than Semtex had done.
It was never a surprise to me when these guys switched horses. Former terrorists were turning into statesmen everywhere on the planet, and had done since the dawn of time. Menachem Begin slaughtered British soldiers on the streets of Jerusalem and ended up on the red carpet when he arrived at 10 Downing Street as Israel's premier. Nelson Mandela and the ANC were outlaws who went on to run South Africa. Even Hamas is now the voters' friend in the West Bank. At this rate, it won't be long before Osama Bin Laden becomes a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN.
The peace process had produced the same result here, but that didn't mean everything in the garden was rosy. Even before 9/11, when the Americans had their first really big taste of the terrorism turkey, PIRA hadn't just raised funds in Boston and New York from tenth-generation Irishmen who thought of them as freedom fighters who
