brought you some good herbal tea and wild mushrooms. They were sent here from Manchuria. You will need it now.” She waved her hand and her eunuchs came and presented me with a beautifully wrapped yellow box.
There was no sign of jealousy, I observed. Her voice bore no disturbance.
“This is the best kind of
“You have grown taller since I saw you last.” She smiled at An-te-hai. “I also have a gift for you.” She waved again and her eunuch brought over a small blue silk box.
An-te-hai threw himself on the floor and kowtowed before taking the box. Nuharoo encouraged him to open it. Inside was a bag of taels. I was sure An-te-hai had never had that much money given to him all at once. He held the box and walked on his knees toward Nuharoo. “An-te-hai doesn’t deserve this, Your Majesty!”
“Go and please yourself with it.” Nuharoo smiled.
I waited for her to speak about the husband we shared. I waited to hear the words that expressed her frustration. I almost wished that she would say something to insult me. But none came. She sat calmly sipping her tea.
I wondered what made her hold herself so upright and calm. If I were she, I would find it difficult. I would resent my rival and wish myself in her place. Was she putting up a front? Or had she already developed a scheme to destroy me and was now only playing peace to deceive me?
Her quietness bothered me. Eventually I could bear it no longer. I began to confess. I reported that Emperor Hsien Feng had been spending nights with me. I begged Nuharoo for forgiveness, and I worried that my voice lacked sincerity.
“You have done nothing wrong,” she said in an even tone.
Confused, I went on. “But I have. I have failed to ask for your advice.” I had difficulty continuing. I was unused to faking my emotions. “I was… was afraid. I was not sure how to report to you. I am inexperienced in court etiquette. I should have kept you informed. I am ready to accept your censure.” My mouth was dry and I took up my tea and poured it down my throat.
“Yehonala.” Nuharoo put down her cup and wiped her mouth lightly with the tip of her handkerchief. “You have been worrying for the wrong reason. I am not coming to demand Emperor Hsien Feng back.” She got up and took my hands in hers. “I have come for two matters. First, of course, is to congratulate you.”
A small voice spoke inside my head:
As if reading my mind, Nuharoo nodded. “I am happy for you and for myself.”
In accordance with etiquette, I thanked her. But my expression betrayed me. I fear it said,
“You see, my sister,” Nuharoo’s voice was gentle and soft, “in my position as the Empress, my concern is broader than you might imagine. I was taught that once I entered the palace, I would not only be married to His Majesty, but also to the entire Imperial society. The dynasty’s welfare is my only concern. It is my duty to see my husband live to meet his obligations. And one such obligation is to produce as many heirs as possible.” She paused, and said with her eyes,
I bowed to her. I believed that she was conducting this act out of pain. I should offer her, if nothing else, words of understanding.
As if knowing what I was going to say, she raised her right hand. “The second matter of my visit is to tell you the news that Lady Yun has given birth.”
“She has? How… wonderful!”
“It is a girl.” Nuharoo sighed. “And the court is disappointed. So is the Grand Empress. I have been feeling sorry for Lady Yun, but sorrier for myself. I haven’t been granted fortune by Heaven to conceive a child.” Moisture filled her eyes and she took out her handkerchief and began to dab.
“Well, there is time.” I comforted her, took her hand. “After all, the Emperor has been married just a year.”
“That doesn’t mean he hasn’t been offered women since his teens. By Hsien Feng’s age, twenty-two, Emperor Tao Kuang had produced seventeen children. What concerns me”-she looked around and made a gesture to dismiss the eunuchs-“is that His Majesty has been impotent. This is not just my experience, but Lady Li’s, Mei’s and Hui’s as well. I don’t know what you have experienced. Would you tell me?” She looked at me eagerly, and I sensed that she wouldn’t desist until her curiosity was satisfied.
I didn’t want to share what had happened, so I nodded in silent confirmation of the Emperor’s condition.
Relieved, Nuharoo leaned back. “If the Emperor remains son-less, it will be my responsibility and misfortune. I can’t imagine the throne being passed on to a different clan because of that. It would be a disaster for both of us.” She let go of my hand and stood up. “I would like to count on you to bear His Majesty an heir, Yehonala.”
I found myself unwilling to trust her words. On the one hand, she wanted to be who she would like to be-an empress who would go down in history as a woman of virtue. On the other hand, she couldn’t hide her relief when she found out that Emperor Hsien Feng had been impotent when with me. What would have happened if I had told the truth?
The night after Nuharoo’s visit I had a series of nightmares. In the morning An-te-hai woke me up with terrible news. “Snow, my lady-your cat has disappeared!”
Eleven
I TOLD Emperor Hsien Feng about Snow’s disappearance and that I had been unable to solve the mystery. “Get another one” was his response. I revealed the incident to him only after I found myself too anxious to comply with his request that I sing for him.
“It can’t be Nuharoo,” he said. “She may not be terribly intelligent, but she is not the vicious type.”
I agreed with him. More than once Nuharoo had surprised me with her remarks or behavior. After an audience the week before, the Emperor told us that a large portion of the country was in the midst of a serious drought. People in the provinces of Hupeh, Hunan and Anhwei were dying of starvation.
“Four thousand new deaths since winter.” His Majesty paced back and forth between the standing basin and the throne. “Four thousand! What else can I do besides order the beheading of the governors? The peasants have begun looting and robbing. Soon it will be a nationwide uprising.”
Nuharoo removed her necklace and bracelets and took down her hairpins. “Your Majesty, they are yours from now on. Auction them off so the peasants can eat.” She spoke with a noble glow on her face.
I could tell that Hsien Feng didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He asked Nuharoo to take back her belongings. Then he turned to me. “What would you do if you were me?”
I recalled an idea I once heard my father discussing with his friends. “I would raise taxes on the rich landlords, merchants and government officials. I would tell them that this is an emergency and the country needs their support.”
Although Emperor Hsien Feng didn’t praise my suggestion in front of Nuharoo, he rewarded me later. That night we had a long conversation. He said that he felt blessed by his ancestors to have a concubine who was not only beautiful but intelligent. I was thrilled, although a little shy. I decided that I must work to live up to His Majesty’s praise.
That night was the first night I didn’t have to perform the fan dance.
We sat in bed and talked. His Majesty spoke about his mother, and I my father. We shed tears together. He asked what I remembered most about my life as a child in the country. I told him about an experience that changed my view of peasants. When I was eleven, I participated in an event organized by my father, the
“The summer was hot and damp,” I recalled. “Green stretched as far as the eye could see. The crops were waist high. The rice, wheat and millet were fattening up day by day. The harvest was fingers away. My father was happy, because he knew if everything went smoothly until the crops were harvested, the peasants living in almost five hundred villages would be able to survive the year.”
