“I don’t understand this. It is too hard!”
He was no longer able to follow me, even if I read the same phrase over and over. His mind seemed to have come to a halt. He was in shock. I had scared him. In his life so far, no one had ever raised a voice to him. He always had his way, no matter how demeaning to others it might be.
I was determined to go on. “Listen carefully and you will get it. ‘The tiger is the spirit of beasts, the tortoise is the spirit of shells, and the phoenix is a bird who is capable of rising from ashes…’”
Tung Chih began to follow me, slowly and painstakingly.
There came a loud banging on the door of the shed.
I knew who it was. I knew she had a spy in my palace.
The banging continued, with Nuharoo screaming, “I am reporting your cruelty to His Majesty! You have no right to punish Tung Chih. He doesn’t belong to you! He came through you. You were only a house that once sheltered him. If I find him hurt, you will be hanged!”
I went on reading, my voice clear and resonant. “‘In ancient Chinese philosophy the five colors correspond to the five directions. Yellow corresponds with the center, blue with the east, white with the west, red with the south, black with the north…’”
Nineteen
THE WILD GRASS around Jehol turned yellow while the court waited for the Emperor to die. Hsien Feng could no longer swallow. The herb soup I prepared continued to be brought to him by the eunuchs, but he no longer touched it. The dragon robe for burial was ordered and His Majesty’s coffin was nearing completion.
Yet my son had not been appointed the successor, and His Majesty had not uttered any words regarding the matter. Every time I wanted to see my husband, Chief Eunuch Shim would block me, saying that His Majesty was either sleeping or meeting with his advisors. He made me wait endlessly. Frustrated, I would return to my quarters. I had no doubt that Shim was acting on Su Shun’s orders.
I was concerned because Hsien Feng could slip away, leaving me powerless to help Tung Chih. When An-te-hai reported that Su Shun had been trying to recruit him to spy on me, the grand councilor’s intentions became clear.
I thanked Heaven for An-te-hai’s loyalty. The cost to him was that his name went on Su Shun’s list of enemies.
“Su Shun is looking to kick your dog,” Nuharoo said during a visit. “I wonder what has made him hate An-te-hai so much.” Lifting her eyes from her embroidery, she searched my face for an answer.
I didn’t want to share my thoughts. I didn’t want to point out that it was not An-te-hai but me Su Shun was after. If I revealed my feelings, Nuharoo would want to interfere and try to get an apology out of Su Shun. She considered herself a champion of justice, but her kindness could do more harm than good.
Nuharoo enjoyed being known for her amiability, courtesy and fairness. But she wouldn’t be able to solve this problem. She would only end up making it easier for Su Shun to get rid of me. He would use Emperor Hsien Feng’s hand. It would not be the first time. Yung Lu’s story about the horrible fate of a certain minister who was disloyal to the grand councilor was but one example. Su Shun might also want to make Nuharoo his ally. She would be easy prey if flattered. The master of tricks could wrap her around his finger. Nuharoo lived to glorify her name, and any attention from Su Shun would be especially appealing. After all, my survival wouldn’t be Nuharoo’s priority.
An-te-hai stumbled over the doorsill. He reported that it had been decided that I would be “honored to accompany Hsien Feng when he returns to his source,” which meant that I would be buried alive when the Emperor died.
I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t. Out of three thousand concubines I was the only one who gave him a son. Hsien Feng knew that Tung Chih needed me.
Making an effort to stay calm, I asked An-te-hai where he had picked up this information. He said that it came from his friend Chow Tee, the Emperor’s attendant.
“Chow Tee came to me this morning,” An-te-hai said in a trembling voice. “He told me to run away immediately. I asked what had happened. He said, ‘Your days are numbered.’ I said, ‘Quit joking, it’s not funny.’ He said he was serious. He had overheard Su Shun’s conversation with His Majesty, and Su Shun suggested that His Majesty ‘take Lady Yehonala’ with him.”
An-te-hai paused for breath, and he wiped the sweat from his face with his sleeve.
“Are you sure Chow Tee heard him right?” I asked, shaken.
“Chow Tee heard Su Shun say, ‘Lady Yehonala is not the kind who would remain faithful and quietly tend her garden.’”
“Did His Majesty respond?”
“No. And that was why Su Shun pressed. He said that he wouldn’t be surprised if you took up with other men after his death. He also predicted that you would seek power through Tung Chih. Su Shun said that you had whipped Tung Chih because he refused to do what you wanted. In the end His Majesty agreed to take you.”
I envisioned my eternal dress and coffin being ordered by Su Shun. I could picture myself with the silk around my neck and Su Shun kicking away the stool. Before my body turned cold, he would pour a bowl of liquid silver down my throat, to mold me into the posture he desired.
“My lady, do something before it’s too late!” An-te-hai threw himself on the floor and wouldn’t rise.
I never dreamt that I would end up being sacrificed. Big Sister Fann’s stories were flat compared to what was happening to me. There was no time to shed tears or seek comfort from my family. Su Shun might already be preparing the fire to melt the silver bars into a drink.
I asked An-te-hai why I should trust Chow Tee’s words.
“We eunuchs are vines,” he said. “We have to locate a big tree in order to climb high. Chow Tee and I understand that only when we help each other will we survive and advance. We have been sworn brothers since we were twelve years old. If there was a fly in Emperor Hsien Feng’s room, Chow Tee would let me know. Lately Chow Tee has been worried about his future after the Emperor dies. If lucky enough to be spared from going with His Majesty, he needs to find a new master to serve. He knew this information was valuable and wanted to offer it to you. It was my suggestion, of course.”
I told An-te-hai that I had to speak with Chow Tee.
The next day, at An-te-hai’s arrangement, Chow Tee came to me under the pretense of borrowing a lamp.
He was about twenty years old and looked plain and humble. His cotton robe was washed white. I had never seen a young face with so many wrinkles. His background was similar to An-te-hai’s, and he had been living in the Forbidden City since the age of nine. He was very careful with his words. He confirmed what An-te-hai had told me.
After I sent Chow Tee away I received my son. Tung Chih climbed on my lap and said that he was ready to recite his text. He was very good this time. I praised him as much as I could, but I had to make an effort to block my tears. I couldn’t get rid of the image that my coffin was being made. I could actually hear the sound of nails being hammered into wood.
Despite his behavior Tung Chih had grown into a handsome boy. He had my bright eyes and smooth skin. The rest of his features were from his father. He had a full forehead, a straight Manchu nose and a lovely mouth. His expression was usually serious, but when he smiled it was the sweetest. I couldn’t bear the thought that Tung Chih would lose both his father and mother at the same time.
As far as I could see, two people would be destroyed if Hsien Feng took me with him. One would be my son, and the other my mother. Tung Chih would be given no discipline, which Nuharoo would do innocently, but Su Shun purposely. The result would be the same-by the time Tung Chih grew up, he would be ill suited to rule. As for my mother, she would be in no condition to stand the blow. My death would spell her own.
Su Shun would lie straight-faced if Tung Chih had questions regarding my death. Su Shun would prove to him that I was a bad mother, and my son would be taught to hate me. He would never realize that he was Su Shun’s victim. Su Shun would do everything in his power to seduce Tung Chih, and my son would regard him as his savior.
What could be more evil than molesting a child’s mind? Tung Chih would be stripped of his birthright. Su Shun
