might not be his true ones. What worried me was what Su Shun might do. With his wickedness, he could manipulate Emperor Hsien Feng to say what he did not mean to say.
A few hours passed. The waiting continued. Food was set out in the courtyard. Hundreds of people sat on their heels, scooping up rice from bowls, staring into space. Tung Chih was bored and irritated. I knew that he had been doing his best to be obedient. Finally he had had enough. When I told him he must stay, he threw a tantrum. He kicked the bowls out of people’s hands.
I grabbed Tung Chih. “One more act of destruction and I’ll have you shut in a bee house!”
Tung Chih quieted down.
Night came. All was in darkness except for the Hall of Fantastic Haze. It was lit as brightly as a stage.
The court gathered again. A number of the Emperor’s seals were brought out of their chambers and laid out on a long table. They were beautifully carved and mounted. The room was so quiet I could hear the sound of the sizzling candles.
The grand secretary and scholar Kuei Liang, Prince Kung’s father-in-law, was in a gray robe. He had arrived from Peking that morning and was expected to go back as soon as he recorded His Majesty’s last words. Kuei Liang’s white beard hung down his chest. He was on his knees holding a giant brush pen. Every once in a while he dipped his brush in the ink to keep it moist. In front of him was a stack of rice paper. Chow Tee, standing next to him, picked up an ink stick, which was as thick as a child’s arm, and rubbed the stick against the stone.
Su Shun’s eyes were on the seals. I wondered what was on his mind. In China all Imperial documents, from His Majesty’s on down, were valid only if stamped with an official seal on top of a personal signature. A seal meant lawful authority. The most important could render all other documents worthless. That Tung Chih hadn’t received his father’s promise to own these seals filled me with despair.
Was Hsien Feng already on his way to Heaven? Had he forgotten his son? Was Su Shun here to see Tung Chih’s end? Su Shun paced slowly beside the table where the seals were lined up. He looked like he was already their owner. He picked up each seal and ran his fingers over the stone surfaces.
“There are many ways to alter one’s destiny,” Su Shun said, tilting his chin upward like a sage. “His Majesty must be walking through the dark halls of his soul. I imagine him following a red wall, taking slow steps. He is not dying in actuality. He is going through a rebirth. It is not a frame of dry bones his spirits are after but the purple light of immortality.”
Hsien Feng’s body suddenly contracted. The movement lasted a few seconds and then stopped. I heard Nuharoo’s wail and saw her reach into her robe for a string of beads.
According to superstition, this could be the moment the spirits of the dying entered the stage of mental reflection.
I prayed that His Majesty would call for Tung Chih. If his only son didn’t occupy his last thoughts, what would?
The ministers started to cry. Some elders fainted in the courtyard, and eunuchs went in with chairs to carry them out.
I moved toward Hsien Feng’s bed, pulling Tung Chih with me.
“No one is allowed to disturb the spirits!” Chief Eunuch Shim blocked my way. At his signal the guards took Tung Chih and me by the arms.
I struggled to free myself.
Kicking and biting, Tung Chih fought. The guards bent his arms behind him and shoved his face into the ground.
“Please!” I begged Chief Eunuch Shim.
“His Majesty is in the middle of his reflection.” Shim refused to yield. “You can go to him once his spirits are settled.”
“Papa! Papa!” Tung Chih cried loudly.
It would have won anyone’s sympathy if it were somewhere else. But the court no longer seemed able to address itself to the one they should serve. It had become Su Shun’s court. Everyone placed his own needs before those of Emperor Hsien Feng and his son. Everyone had heard Tung Chih, but no one offered to help.
If His Majesty desired to say something to his son, he could only wish for Su Shun’s mercy. It was too convenient for Su Shun to ignore the Emperor and get away with his crime. If Hsien Feng was angry, no one would know. In a few minutes, whatever regrets he might have would accompany him to the grave.
I had no more fear. I measured the distance between Chief Eunuch Shim and myself and aimed for his stomach. My eyes focused on the crane on his robe. I didn’t care if I became injured or worse. The story would go out. It would be my protest against Su Shun’s bullying. Tung Chih would gain sympathy from the nation.
Using my head as a battering ram, I charged.
Instead of ducking, Shim shoved and yanked me away.
Losing my balance, I was unable to stop and was headed straight toward a side column.
I shut my eyes and thought that I was finished.
But my head didn’t crack. It wasn’t a column that I hit; it was a man in an armored uniform.
As I collapsed in a pile on the floor, I saw my son running toward his father. When I looked up to see whom I had collided with, the face that greeted me was that of the commander of the Imperial Guards, Yung Lu.
“Papa, Papa!” The son shook his father.
Emperor Hsien Feng was half sitting, half lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.
Nuharoo came and put her arms around Tung Chih.
I picked myself up and rushed to the boy’s side. Enraged, Su Shun pushed him back before he could touch his father again.
The child yanked his arm out of Su Shun’s grip and set himself free. “Papa! Papa!”
Emperor Hsien Feng’s eyes blinked. Slowly, his lips moved. “Tung Chih, my son…”
The court quieted and drew its breath. The Imperial secretary picked up his brush pen.
“Come to me, Tung Chih!” The dying man’s arms reached out from under the coverlet.
“Your Majesty.” I stepped up, taking the chance that I might be punished. “Would you let the court know your successor?”
It was too late for Su Shun to order my removal. Hsien Feng appeared to have heard me. He tried to speak, but there was no voice. After he struggled for a while, his arms dropped. His eyeballs rolled back into his skull, and he began to gasp for air.
“Your Majesty!” I fell to my knees by his side. My hands gripped his yellow satin sheet. “Pity your son, please!”
The Emperor’s mouth opened.
“Papa! Papa! Please wake up!”
I stopped Tung Chih from shaking his father.
Hsien Feng opened his eyes again. Suddenly, he pushed himself and sat up. A second later he crashed back into his pillows and his eyes shut.
“Leave your son with no words, Hsien Feng!” Thinking this was the end, I felt that all my hopes had died. I no longer cared what I said. “Here is your heavenly damned son. Just leave him! Go your way and see us destroyed! I’ll take it as my fate if this is what you want. Tung Chih deserves you. You are an unmerciful father.”
Weeping, Tung Chih buried his face in his father’s chest.
“Tung Chih.” Hsien Feng opened his eyes again. His voice, though weak, was clear. “My son… let me… look at you. How are you? What can I get you?”
“Your Majesty,” I said, “will Tung Chih succeed you to the throne?”
Hsien Feng smiled affectionately. “Yes, of course, Tung Chih will succeed me to the throne.”
“Have you the title for his reign?”
“
“Well-Omened Happiness,” the Imperial secretary said as he wrote the words down.
Many have said that my initiative at that moment embodied an important principle: for a woman in the Manchu court, survival required audacity. They were right.
Soon after Doctor Sun Pao-tien pronounced His Majesty’s death, Nuharoo and I retreated from the hall. We went to the dressing room and removed our makeup. I was so shaky that my hands wouldn’t hold the washcloth. I wept when recalling Hsien Feng’s final words. The effort he made to deliver them showed that love must have been
