snakes!'
As I waited for the results from Doctor Sun Pao-tien, I visited Nuharoo to inform her of what had happened. Without mentioning Tung Chih's outrageous behavior, she worried about the possibility of venereal disease but even more about the Emperor's reputation-and hers, since as the senior mother she was responsible for the important decisions in Tung Chih's personal life. Nuharoo suggested that we begin the selection of an Imperial consort right away, 'so that Tung Chih can start his life as a grown man.'
An-te-hai was silent on our way back to my palace. The look in his eyes was that of a beaten dog.
At first Tung Chih showed no interest in the consort selection. Nuharoo was determined to carry on anyway. When I called Tung Chih to arrange a date to inspect the maidens, he instead wanted to discuss An-te-hai's 'misconduct' and the proper punishment.
I ignored my son and said, 'What's going on between us should not interfere with your duties.' I threw a court report at him. 'This arrived this morning. I want you to take a look.'
'Foreign missionaries have made converts,' Tung Chih said as he riffled through the document. 'Yes, I am aware of that. They have attracted layabouts and bandits by offering free food and shelter, and they have helped the criminals. The issue is not religion, as they claim.'
'You have done nothing about it.'
'No, I haven't.'
'Why not?' I tried to keep my voice calm but wasn't able to. 'Was whoring all over the city more important?'
'Mother, every treaty protects Christians. What can I do? Father was the one who signed it! You are trying to say that I am bringing down the dynasty, but I am not. Foreigners were having their way in China before I was born. Look at this: 'Missionaries demand rent for the last three hundred years on long-standing Chinese temples which they declare are former church properties.' Does that make sense to you?'
I was speechless.
'I'd like to believe that the missionaries are good men and women,' my son continued, 'that only their code of morals is defective. I agree with Uncle Prince Kung that Christianity lays too much stress on charity and too little on justice. Anyway, it's not my problem, and you shouldn't try to make it mine.'
'Foreigners have no right to bring their laws to China. And that is your problem to fix, son.'
'The business of running the nation makes me sick, period. Sorry, Mother, I have to go.'
'I am not done yet. Tung Chih, you don't know enough to know what to do yet.'
'How could I not know enough? You have made the court's papers my textbooks. I have been considered weak as far back as I can remember. You are the wise one, the all-knowing Old Buddha. I don't send spies to invade your rooms and empty out your closets. But that doesn't mean I'm stupid and know nothing. I love you, Mother, but-' He stopped and then broke down sobbing.
In the darkest moments of my life, I would go to An-te-hai and ask him to comfort me. I was beyond shame.
It would be unimaginable for any woman to stand the thought that her body was being touched by a eunuch, a creature from the underworld. But I felt as low as the eunuch.
That night, An-te-hai's voice soothed me. It helped me escape reality. I was taken to distant continents to experience exotic voyages. Excitement would fill An-te-hai's expression as he blew out the candles and came to lie by my side on the bed.
'I have found my hero,' An-te-hai whispered. 'Like me, he was an unfortunate one. Born in 1371 and castrated at the age of ten. Luckily, the master he served was a prince who was good to him. In return he rendered outstanding service and helped the prince become the Emperor of the Ming Dynasty…'
The sound of a night owl quieted, and the moonlit clouds stood still outside the window.
'His name was Cheng Ho, the greatest explorer in the world. You can find his name in every book of navigation, but none reveals his identity as a eunuch. No one knew that his profound suffering was what made him extraordinary. The ability to endure hardship that only I, a fellow eunuch, can understand.'
'How do you know Cheng Ho was a eunuch?' I asked.
'I discovered it by accident, in the Imperial Registration Record of Eunuchs, a book nobody else would care to read.'
In Cheng Ho An-te-hai recognized an achievable dream. 'As the admiral of the Treasure Fleet Cheng Ho headed seven naval expeditions to ports all over Southeast Asia and the Indian Ocean.' An-te-hai spoke in a voice of passion. 'My hero traveled as far as the Red Sea and East Africa, exploring more than thirty nations in seven voyages. Castration made him a broken man, but it never stayed his ambition.'
In the darkness An-te-hai walked to the window in his white silk robe. Facing the bright moon, he announced, 'I shall from now on have a birth date.'
'Haven't you one already?'
'That was a made-up one, because no one, including myself, knew when I was born. My new birthday will be July 11. It will be in memory and celebration of Cheng Ho's first naval expedition, which set off on July 11, 1405.'
In my dream that night, An-te-hai became Cheng Ho. He was dressed in a magnificent Ming court robe and was out on the open sea, heading toward the distant horizon.
'…He flaunted the might of two generations of Chinese emperors.' An-te-hai's voice woke me. Yet he was in deep sleep.
I sat up and lit a candle. I looked at the sleeping eunuch and suddenly felt crushed as my thoughts fled back to Tung Chih. I had an urge to go to my son and hold him close.
'My lady.' An-te-hai spoke with his eyes shut. 'Did you know Cheng Ho's fleet included more than sixty large ships? A crew nearly thirty thousand strong! They had one ship to carry horses, and another one carried only drinking water!'
7
Nuharoo summoned me on the eighth anniversary of our husband's death. After our greeting, she announced that she had decided to change the names of all the palaces in the Forbidden City. She began with her own palace. Instead of the Palace of Peace and Longevity, its new name would be the Palace of Meditation and Transformation. Nuharoo said that her
I didn't like the idea, but Nuharoo was not the type of person to compromise. The problem was that if we changed the name of a palace, the names that went along with it also had to be changed-the palace's gates, its gardens, its walkways, its servants' quarters. Nevertheless, she forged ahead. Nuharoo's gate was now the Gate of Reflection instead of the Gate of Restful Wind. Her garden was now called the Spring Awakening instead of the Magnificent Wilderness. Her main walkway used to be the Corridor of Moonlight and now was the Corridor of a Clear Mind.
To my mind, the new names were not as tasteful as the old ones. The old name for Nuharoo's pond, Spring Ripple, was better than its new name, the Zen Drops. I also liked Palace of Gathering Essence better than Palace of the Great Void.
For months Nuharoo spent her time working on the names. More than one hundred title boards and nameplates were taken down and new ones created and installed. Sawdust filled the air as the carpenters sanded the boards. Paint and ink were everywhere as Nuharoo ordered the calligraphers, whose style she found deficient, to redo their work.
I asked Nuharoo if the court had approved her new names. She shook her head. 'It would take too long to explain the importance to the court, and they wouldn't like it because of the expense. It's better that I don't bother
