music, and at singing. But I have both seen and heard better. The thing Anne does most well is talk to her woman. Perhaps Anne has also been playing at chatelaine. But if it is so, then it cannot be such a difficult role to play. And as a complaint of my lord has not reached my ears, I must assume he is satisfied with her efforts. So Anne may play all that she wants. I shall study.
As a wise wife, I will let those duties to the one who has been properly managing them. And more since the feast of Noel is nearly upon us. I know that Anne has been always arranging this.
It is me the chatelaine. If I must be in this strange land, I will do as I please. And it pleases me to let Anne guard these duties.
day of Noel
After the work of yesterday, in cleaning, in giving the animals double their food for the day, when it seemed everyone of the house was distracted, we passed this day playing cards, in prayers, and by singing. They have found a log as big around as six persons and as tall as two persons and have lit it in the hall of dining, in the hearth; this is to last for the three days that come. And on it we throw salt and wine and bread in honor of the holy trinity.
And then the midnight mass. This mass is my preferred of the year. This night we had chants and offerings, and even a nativity theater. I made certain not to rise a moment early to leave the church, for I had no wish to see the dead march in procession through the village.
And outside, after, on the path to the chateau, I listened to hear the animals speak, or to see the stones rise, or the fruit trees flower during the twelve rings of the church bell at midnight; we must have been too late, for I neither saw nor heard anything. I kept close watch also for witches or demons that come out this evening. I gave myself fright for I did not remember having left the door open for bad spirits to leave the chateau, but on our return, I saw that someone had it done.
For the meal we had a roasted boar and oysters and cakes and chestnuts and a potage of truffes. And everything served on the table this night. Anne says me that this is so the dead can serve themselves and take part with us in the fete. And there must have been some dead among us, for at the end of the meal, I saw no food uneaten.
day of the new year
Anne had some men find a ball of mistletoe and had it hung between the hall of reception and the hall of dining.
Anne and my lord walked in to dinner together.
The rest of us had already assembled.
As they passed beneath the door, my lord realized there is mistletoe and he must kiss Anne. He did it, and Anne blushed. She is very pretty.
I demand of myself why she is not yet wed.
day of Epiphanie
This day, we celebrated Epiphanie, the coming of the kings. The galette des rois, was served. And in his part, my lord found a feve.
He was crowned king, and he must choose his queen.
I was saddened at first that I was not chosen to be his queen, but then he had chosen Anne, and I was glad. It is kind of him to look after her interests, as she is left unmarried at such an old age.
We instructed the cook to give the part left of the galette, the part of the Virgin, to the first mendiant leading a horse decorated with laurier who will pass by the chateau.
two days after Sainte Agathe
My lord came to my room this night to tell me a story.
I have taken the decision that if my lord is to tell me stories, then I will write them down. As they are Breton, I have heard nothing of them before. It will also serve as good practice for my penmanship. The follow is the story he told me this night:
Tredamial has many people in good health. This is because the Chapelle de Notre-dame-du-Haut is possessed of seven healing saints. They are: Eugenie who heals head-aches: Houamiaule who heals fear, anguish, and nervous illness; Hubert who heals rage; Lubin, who heals joints and eyes; Mamert, who heals intestinal difficulties; Neen, who heals troubled minds; and Yvertin who also tends to head-aches.
I demanded of my lord what good this story is. It does not amuse.
He told me again of the saints and the maladies they heal and bid me remember in case I will have need of them.
I reminded myself at this moment here that his young sister caught an illness and died. And also, my mother.
My lord sat by the fire, morose.
I rose from bed, pushed back the curtains, and sat at his feet. He seemed in need of company.
We stared into the fire together for a long while.
8
At dinner, as a rule, he was attentive and made for good company. I asked him about his walks one evening over
“So what is it that you do out there in the forest with Lucy all day?” I asked this as I unwound my hair from its bun and combed through it with my fingers. The uncommonly nice weather was drying out my skin, making my scalp itch. Of course, I wouldn’t be caught dead scratching in Cranwell’s presence, but the feel of my fingers gliding through my hair was soothing.
“Hmm?” He looked up at me over the rim of his wineglass.
“You’ve been wandering around out there for the past three weeks.”
“I’m getting ideas. Talking to God. I think best when I walk.” He reached toward his back and pulled his fisherman’s sweater over his head, leaving his hair in an uncharacteristic sprawl across his forehead.
I resisted an urge to reach out and push it back into place.
He unbuttoned the sleeves of his faded denim shirt and rolled them up. I’d like to know why denim shirts always look so good on men.
“How’s it coming?”
“Well.” His eyes were glazing again and their focus moved from my eyes to my hands, to my hair. He stared, as if mesmerized, and reached out a hand, fingering the ends of my hair.
I could feel my chest constrict.
“What color hair did Alix have?” It was clearly a question he was asking himself. I couldn’t have answered if I’d tried. My voice had disappeared.
He put his other hand to his chest as if to search inside a pocket on his jacket. When he realized he wasn’t wearing his jacket, his lips curved into a self-deprecating smile. “I think I’ll take Lucy for a walk.”
He let go of my hair. I watched him rise like a sleepwalker and snap for Lucy.
She rose and sighed, sending me a beseeching look.
I gave her a pat and then shook my head as they walked up the stairs to the back door.
“Don’t forget your coat.”
He paused and then turned, staring at me for a long moment. “Right.” Reversing directions, Cranwell came back down the stairs and then went up the spiral staircase toward his room.
Watching them leave, I put shaking hands to my hair, gathered and rewound it, and knotted it back into place.
