“That, my dearest, sounded suspiciously like a provoking comment! But back to the past, before my resolve weakens, I have often wondered about the letter I wrote you—did it soon make you think better of me? Did you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?”
“At first reading, I tried to dismiss it all as falsehood, but almost immediately I recognized the justice of some of your points, especially as regarded Wickham. I grew absolutely ashamed of myself, I, who had been so certain of my perceptions; and I bitterly regretted the accusations I had made to you. It took somewhat longer for me to admit that your role in separating Bingley from Jane, while unsupportable from my point of view, was at least capable of a different interpretation than I had given it. I had already realized, even before receiving your letter, how poorly I had treated you; that, in presenting me with the compliment of your affections, you deserved at least politeness from me.”
“Perhaps if I had been more polite and respectful toward you, that would have been true, but as it is, I deserved the full measure of your anger for my behavior that night.”
“You came in for more than your share of it, sir, since you unknowingly presented your proposal at a time when I was already fully exasperated with you. Colonel Fitzwilliam, only that afternoon, had let slip something which confirmed your role in Bingley’s decampment from Netherfield, and I was quite preoccupied with that when you arrived.”
“While I, in my abominable pride, believed you to be wishing, expecting my addresses. Can you believe my vanity?” he said with a remorseful smile, and kissed the palm of her hand.
Elizabeth laughed lightly. “I can believe it quite well, since it was not so many months until I was indeed wishing for your addresses! I have often wondered if, had I recognized your inclination earlier, I would have been able to look beyond my prejudices to find the good in you sooner.”
“Elizabeth,” Darcy said with great seriousness, “you did me the greatest of favors in refusing my first proposal. Not only did you teach me a much needed lesson about how my behavior looked to the world, but it also allowed me the very great privilege and joy of knowing that you have now accepted me out of affection, not merely for the place I could offer in society, which is why I expected your acceptance then. I would not be deprived of that for the world, my love.”
He wondered if she realized just how vulnerable he felt when he told her of his feelings and her importance to him, and he leaned over and kissed her tenderly in search of that reassurance he could find only in her touch.
She put her hand lightly to his face and said, “Since
“How could I have let you go, once I saw you again?”
Their lips met again, and Elizabeth closed her eyes to further savor the exquisite sensation that ran through her. She could feel Darcy’s attempt to restrain himself, and all too soon he pulled away, leaving her still hungry for his touch. She was slightly comforted to discover that his breathing was somewhat ragged as well.
“Elizabeth, may I ask you a question?”
“You seem to have done so several times in the last few minutes, and I do not believe I have objected so far!” she teased.
He lifted a hand to cup her cheek. “You never actually answered me when I asked why you wished to move the wedding forward,” he said, his gaze intent on her.
Elizabeth felt her breath coming more quickly. “Oh, dear. How precisely am I to answer that without being provocative, Mr. Darcy?”
His eyes darkened, and he allowed his fingers to trail along the line of her jaw. “You managed to use my name perfectly well in church earlier, my love.”
“Who is being provocative now?” Elizabeth struggled to keep her voice from trembling as she involuntarily responded to his touch.
“Should I stop?” His lips caressed her neck, then moved agonizingly slowly to the tender skin below her ear. She clutched at his shoulders for support. “Elizabeth?”
She felt his need echoing her own and, hearing the plea for permission in his voice, shuddered as his arms came around her. “Do not stop,” she said huskily into his ear. “Please do not stop.”
Giving up any vestige of control, he pulled her to him, and she rejoiced in the feeling of his body against hers. She moaned his name, further kindling his need, and his mouth met hers with a fiery passion that stirred her deeply. His hands on her back encouraged her to press herself against him, and she felt every inch of her body crying out for his touch.
How long they lost themselves in each other’s arms was unclear; Elizabeth only knew that it ended too soon, and she found herself leaning against his shoulder. “So much for behaving,” she said shakily.
“So much for not being provocative!”
“What do you mean? I was quite careful not to say anything provocative!” she cried.
He laughed. “Do you not know how much you provoke me simply by being near me, looking at me, smiling at me?”
“I believe that I am being held to an impossible standard!” she teased.
“Leaving me in an impossible position, madam, which is why I favor making you my wife as soon as possible.”
She leaned back and met his eyes. Raising an eyebrow, she said, “Thursday, then?”
He smiled. “I believe that I can survive until then, given an adequate number of kisses to keep me going.”
“And what, pray tell, would be an adequate number, sir?”
He paused as if to consider, reveling in the sense of freedom and lightness that he experienced only in her arms. “I will tell you when you we get to it,” he said, suiting his actions to his words by recapturing her mouth. “But I hope you were not planning on getting home soon.”
It was resolved between them that Darcy would approach the parson regarding performing the wedding, and Elizabeth would attend to the details of the actual ceremony. The burden of this was much reduced by Mrs. Gardiner, who, as soon as she heard of the revised plan, offered her services in organizing the event. “I shall quite enjoy it, my dear, and you are making it so very simple by keeping things quite small. We need no rehearsal, as we are all
Elizabeth was all gratitude for the assistance, for she had discovered to her chagrin that her early feelings of relief after scheduling the wedding were rapidly being superseded by mounting anxiety and uneasiness, though precisely about what she was not entirely certain. She found herself becoming almost uncivil, and developed a sudden sympathy with Mrs. Bennet’s fits of nerves. She began to feel the chief advantage of the changed wedding date was that it would be done with that much sooner, and was glad to escape from company when it finally came time to retire for the evening.
It was long past midnight when she awoke in panic from a nightmare.
She reached for a handkerchief to dry her tears, and as she raised it to her face, discovered it to be the long-cherished one of Darcy’s, reclaimed from its exile in her father’s desk, but never returned to its rightful owner.
