Bernie graduated with honors. From the first day of school in Murietta to the last, Hildemara’s brother had been the shining star.
Elizabeth sat with the family through the ceremony. When Hildie heard her sniffling, she handed her a handkerchief. Elizabeth wouldn’t be seeing much of Bernie that summer. Mama wanted him on hand to organize the Summer Bedlam work crew, and Papa needed him for harvesting.
Once a week, they let him loose and he went into town to see Elizabeth. He typically came home depressed. “I wish I didn’t have to go so far away to school.”
Mama snorted. “If you were any closer, you’d never get any studying done. You’d be too busy chasing after Elizabeth’s skirts.”
Clotilde snickered. “He doesn’t have to chase her.”
Bernie’s face turned red. “Shut up, Cloe.” He left the table.
Elizabeth came into the soda fountain almost every day through summer, bemoaning how much she missed Bernie. Hildemara let her talk.
When school started again, she came with Hildemara and sat at the counter, doing her homework. “You watch, Hildie. Your brother is going to meet some pretty college girl and forget all about me. It’s two whole years until we graduate!”
“He writes more to you than he does to Mama and Papa.”
“He only wrote twice last week.”
“Well, that’s twice more than he’s written home, and he’s been gone a month.”
When Bernie came home for Christmas break, he spent more time in Murietta at the Kenneys’ than he did at home. At least until Mama put her foot down. “Since we’re paying your way through college, you can help around here.”
“Mama! I haven’t seen Elizabeth since summer, and not much then. She might lose interest if I don’t-”
“The roof needs repair, and we need a new garbage hole dug and the old one covered. If you have time after those things are done, then you can go court Miss Kenney, though I think she’s in the palm of your hand already.”
Papa wasn’t so adamant about making Bernie spend more time at home. “He’s in love, Marta. Slack the reins a little.”
“He’ll have plenty of time for galloping after Elizabeth after he finishes college. And he’ll have something to offer then.”
Summer Bedlam had proven so successful, Mama had been holding it every year. The summer after Bernie’s first year of college was the fifth session. Bernie had outgrown snipe hunts, swimming in a ditch where the water only came up to his navel, and managing a work crew of “city softies.” He worked alongside Papa through the long, hot days of irrigation and harvest, then went off with his friends on the bicycle Mama had given him the first year for “keeping the boys in line.”
Hildemara didn’t receive a reward for the work she did helping Mama cook, clean, and wash clothes. She also took care of any first aid needs, but she didn’t mind that.
Boys kept coming, younger brothers and friends of friends. Papa never lost patience with the new boys.
Hildemara wished Mama had patience for her, but it seemed to wear thinner by the year. She’d snap orders and expect Hildie to know what she wanted before she wanted it. Hildemara tried to please her, but never knew whether she did or not. Mama never said one way or the other. For a woman who spoke her mind about everything else, Mama never seemed to say what she thought about her eldest daughter. Then again, maybe it was better she didn’t.
Hildemara kept building her savings account through sophomore and junior years. No sooner had Clotilde entered high school than Mama started talking about sending her to design school. Hildemara had to listen to them talk about it over dinner. Clotilde set her sights on the Otis Art Institute, and Mama didn’t seem to think it out of reach to help her with expenses. If that wasn’t enough salt in her wounds, Hildemara had to listen to Mama prodding Rikka to spend more time drawing and painting so she could put together a portfolio for submission to the administrators at the California School of Fine Arts.
Mama never told Cloe or Rikki to find a job and pay their own way.
1934
When Hildie’s senior class Slack Day rolled around, she took extra hours at Pitt’s instead of playing hooky with the rest of her friends. Clotilde came in for a soda after school, spending a portion of the allowance Mama now gave her. “Mama’s going into Modesto to do some shopping. You should come and pick out something to wear for graduation. They have some nice dress stores there.”
“Mama didn’t offer to buy me a graduation dress, and I’m not spending a penny of my savings on one.”
“What are you going to wear?”
“The dress I wear to church.”
“That old thing? Hildie, you can’t! Everyone else will be wearing something new, something special.”
“Well, I won’t be, and I don’t care.” She had no intention of wasting hard-earned money on a new dress. “It doesn’t matter, Cloe. No one is going to remember what I wore five minutes after I receive my diploma.”
“Well, whose fault is that? All you do is bury your nose in a book or work here.” She waved her hand dismissively.
Annoyed, Hildemara looked across the counter at her sister. “You want to know something, Cloe? I’ve worked every hour and every day I can and I barely have enough saved for one year of nurses’ training.
“You should talk to Mama. She’ll help you.”
“Mama’s the one who told me I had to earn my own way. She thinks nursing is a form of servitude.” Hildemara shook her head. “I can’t ask her for anything, Cloe. Bernie still has two more years of college. You’ll go to the Otis Art Institute and Rikki will be in San Francisco a few years after that. Papa and Mama only have so much. I can’t ask Mama for anything.”
“What is it Mama says? Nothing ventured, nothing gained?”
“I’ll venture to Oakland and pray God gives me the rest of what I need.” She didn’t want to ask Mama when she knew the answer would be no.
“You’re more stubborn than she is.” Cloe finished her Coke and left Pitt’s.
The night before graduation, Hildemara came home dog-tired and depressed. Maybe she could skip the ceremony and go in for her diploma later. She could say she was sick. It might be nice to sleep all day, if Mama would let her.
As she came in the back door, she saw a blue organza dress hanging on the foot of her bunk bed. Cloe came through the back door from the kitchen. “It’s for your graduation. What do you think of it?”
Hildemara dropped her book bag and pressed her knuckles against her quivering lips.
Cloe pushed her into the bedroom. “Come on. Try it on. I can’t wait to see how it looks.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Where do you think? I made it!” She bustled around Hildie, tugging her sweater off. “I’ve never worked so hard on anything.” Hildemara barely had her school dress off before Cloe pulled the new one over her head, tugging it down. She pinched one side and then the other. “Just needs a few tucks and it’ll be a perfect fit. We’ve been working on it for days!”
“We?”
“Mama bought the fabric and I designed the dress. We’ve both been putting it together. There won’t be another
