Her Mother’s Hope

like it.” She stepped back, admiring her work. “It’s fabulous!” She frowned. “What’s the matter? Why are you crying?”

Hildemara sat on Rikki’s bed, grabbed her discarded dress, and tried to stop the tears.

“You like it, don’t you?” Cloe sounded worried.

Hildemara nodded.

“I knew you would.” Cloe sounded her confident self again. “And I knew you wanted a new dress for graduation, but you’d rather die than ask.” She laughed, pleased. “You said people won’t remember you five minutes after graduation, but they’ll remember this dress. And someday, you’ll be able to say you were Clotilde Waltert’s first model.”

Hildie laughed and hugged her.

When she tried to thank Mama later, Mama waved her off. “Bernhard had a new suit for his graduation. You needed a dress. I don’t want people saying I don’t take proper care of my children.”

Hildemara didn’t say any more about it. When she put the dress on the next day, Papa smiled and gave a nod of approval. “You look beautiful.”

Hildie turned. “The dress is beautiful.”

Papa put his hands on her shoulders. “You are beautiful. When you cross that platform and get your diploma, you’ll make me and Mama proud. Your mother never had the opportunities you’ve had, Hildemara. Her father took her out of school when she was twelve. It’s why she’s so dead-set on all her children getting as much schooling as they can.” He tipped her chin. “Don’t tell her I told you she never went to high school. It’s a sore spot with her.”

“Mama has the equivalent of a college degree, Papa. She speaks four languages and runs a school every summer. I haven’t gotten an answer from Merritt yet. I may be working at Pitt’s and living at home for the rest of my life.” That certainly wouldn’t please her mother.

“You’ll have an answer soon enough, and I’ve no doubt it will be the one you’re waiting for.” A car horn honked twice. He patted her cheek. “Better go. Mama’s waiting to drive you into town.”

She hugged him. “She’s coming back for Cloe and Rikki as soon as she drops me off. Are you walking to town or riding back with Mama later?”

He grimaced. “I’m riding. God, have mercy. I don’t want to miss my daughter’s graduation.”

Mama didn’t say a word on the drive to town. When Hildemara tried again to thank her for the dress, Mama’s mouth tightened and she shook her head, staring at the road ahead.

As Hildemara crossed the platform that evening in her new organza dress and received her diploma, she paused long enough to look out into the sea of faces. She spotted Mama, Papa, Clotilde, and Rikka sitting in the second row. Papa, Cloe, and Rikki clapped and cheered. Mama sat with her hands folded in her lap, head down, so Hildie couldn’t see her face.

* * *

Dear Rosie,

Hildemara Rose graduated from high school today. When she received her diploma, I feared I’d embarrass her with my tears. I am so proud of her! Hildemara Rose is the first girl from my side of our family to finish school.

God willing, and the crops are good, she will go on. I wanted her to go to university, but her heart is set on nurses’ training. She still has a servant’s heart. She dreams of being the next Florence Nightingale. If the Samuel Merritt Hospital School of Nursing refuses her, I swear I will go down and pry open the doors with my bare hands.

* * *

“There’s a letter for you on the table.” Mama nodded toward the envelope propped up against a mason jar full of roses.

Heart tripping, Hildie read the return address: Samuel Merritt Hospital School of Nursing.

Mama looked over her glasses as she mended a pair of Papa’s overalls. “You won’t know what it says unless you open it.”

Hands shaking, Hildemara grabbed a knife from the drawer and carefully slit open the envelope. Her excitement died as she read. Mama dropped her mending on her lap. “What’s the matter? They don’t want you?”

“I meet all the qualifications except one: I’m not eighteen.” She wouldn’t turn eighteen until January. She would have to wait until the next class started the following fall.

“You don’t have to be eighteen to go here.” Mama took another envelope out of her apron pocket and held it out. It had already been opened.

Hildemara read the embossed printing in the left corner. “The University of California in Berkeley? Mama, I can’t go there.”

“Why not?”

Hildemara wanted to weep in frustration. “Because I’m still saving up for nursing school!” She tossed the letter on the kitchen table. “Besides that, a university isn’t for someone like me.” Fighting tears, she headed for the back door.

Mama threw her mending on the floor and stood. “Don’t you ever say anything like that again! I swear I’ll slap you silly if you do!” She grabbed the letter from the table and held it up under Hildemara’s nose. “You have the brain! You have the grades! Why shouldn’t you go to college?”

Hildemara cried out in frustration. “Tuition, plus books, plus room and board in a dorm… I’ve barely saved enough to pay the uniform fee and one year of tuition at Merritt. And that’s where I want to go! After six months’ training, I’ll be paid by the hospital. I’ll have to save every penny so I can pay for my second and third year!”

Mama flapped the envelope. “This is the University of California in Berkeley, Hildemara!” Her voice rose in frustration. “A university!”

Clearly, Mama wasn’t listening. “It’s one year, Mama, and I’ll have nothing at the end of it.”

“Nothing? What do you mean, nothing? You’ll have one year at one of the best universities in the country!” She flapped the envelope again. “That’s worth more than-” She stopped and turned away.

Hildemara pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t cry. “More than three years of nurses’ training, Mama? That’s it, isn’t it?”

Mama made fists and pounded them on the kitchen table so hard it bounced. Shoulders drooping, she swore twice in German.

For once, Hildemara didn’t cower. She spoke her mind. “You let Cloe and Rikki dream their dreams, but I haven’t the right, have I, Mama? No matter how hard I try, I’m never going to come up to your expectations. And I don’t care anymore. I want to be a nurse, Mama.” Something erupted inside her and Hildie screamed. “A nurse!”

Mama rubbed her face and let out her breath. “I know, but you’ll have to wait, won’t you? And while you’re waiting, why waste your time at Pitt’s when you could go to Berkeley? Even one semester-”

“The money I’ve saved is for nursing school.”

“Then I’ll send you! I’ll pay for the year!”

“I can tell how much you like that idea. Keep your money! Spend it on Cloe and Rikka. Otis Art Institute and the California School of Fine Arts will probably cost as much as the university. And you promised them.”

Mama glared at her, eyes overbright. “It never occurred to you I’d help you, did it?”

“You’re not offering help, Mama! You’re sending me where you want to go!” As soon as the words flew out her mouth, she knew the truth of them. She could see it in Mama’s face.

Mama sat and put her face in her hands. “Maybe I am.” She let out a deep sigh and put her arms on the table as though bracing herself.

Hildemara started to say she was sorry and caught herself. She felt a sudden wave of pity for her mother and pulled out a chair. “What would you have studied, Mama?”