From where he hunkered at the water’s edge, he smiled up at her, that same smile that had once been her entire world. “Your back okay? You need me to stick around?”
“No. I’m…fine.”
His smile remained but she felt his disappointment. He finished the pan and stood close. His sun-kissed hair was slightly disheveled, which only added to the fact that he was gorgeous. Once upon a time she’d spent hours just looking at him. Days.
Months.
“Seriously,” he said softly. “You’re looking good.”
She knew damn well her hair was a wreck, her jeans were dirty, and that, overall, especially when compared to him, she looked like something the cat had dragged in.
She also knew he genuinely didn’t care about any of that. “Thanks.” She took the pans from him. Unlike at last night’s camp, she was in plain sight of the tents and campfire, where the rest of the campers lounged and relaxed. Or where Rose was lounging and relaxing. Rock was doing pull-ups on a tree branch and trying not to take peeks at Rose. Michelle was giving herself a pedicure, sitting on her yellow rainjacket to keep herself off the ground and presumably spider-free. Jack and Jared had gone into the woods to get some fuel for the fire.
Jared. He hadn’t said one word about Keith appearing with the supplies. She wondered if he thought she’d invited him here.
Not that it mattered what he thought.
“Being out here really agrees with you,” Keith said, bringing her attention back to him as he moved close. Smiling into her face, he ran a finger over her cheekbone. “Getting some color back on you.”
Used to be, his touch had melted her. Now she just wanted him to go because she hated the confusing mix of past and present. “Can I ask you something, Keith?”
“Sure.”
“Do you ever think about us?”
“A lot, since you’ve called.” He took the pans back from her. “I was thinking you had some ideas about starting up with me again.”
“I did,” she admitted softly. “But now I’m thinking that was stupid.”
“Still say whatever comes into your head, I see.” He didn’t seem insulted, but amused. “I thought maybe you’d outgrow that.”
“Apparently not.”
“Actually, it’s refreshing. There’s no subterfuge with you, Lil. No guessing. It’s all out there in the open for anyone to see.” He laughed softly. “I wasn’t mature enough to appreciate that the first time around. I hope to rectify that.”
She looked into his eyes. Back then, she’d loved looking into his dark, unwavering eyes, loved guessing at his thoughts. She’d always had to guess, since he hadn’t ever been good at revealing himself. “How?”
He answered with a smile and a wicked gleam.
“Do you really think it’s a good idea for me to jump back into your bed?”
“Or yours. I’m not picky.”
She laughed at his audacity and smooth confidence, then her smile faded. “Keith…”
His smile faded, too. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”
She took his hand. “I took the job because I was lonely and hurting and afraid I’d lost myself.”
“You don’t look lost to me.”
“That’s because being here reminds me of the woman I was back then: strong, confident, ready to take on the world.”
“You were-are, an amazing woman.”
“Keith…”
He took in her expression. “Ah, hell. I hate the truth.”
“I’m not that same woman. And maybe the sooner I face that, the better.”
“Maybe that’s true. Maybe you’re not that woman anymore, maybe you’re better.”
She let out a low laugh. “Better? Uh, no.”
His gaze went on a slow tour of her, from head to toe, and back again, stopping at each spot in between. “You’re looking just as fine as always.” He looked her in the eyes, then leaned in and kissed her cheek. “And I hope you end up seeing that.” With a sigh, he tipped his head back to the gorgeous night sky, lit up with the glow of a million stars. “It never gets old, that view, does it?”
“No.” On this one thing at least, they were in complete agreement. “It doesn’t.”
“We were here once together, near this exact spot actually, beneath a night just like this.” He flashed a grin. “Remember?”
Her second expedition, as a matter of fact. He’d set her up in a tent that they’d never used. Instead they’d spread out a blanket and lain beneath a sky just like this one. He’d pointed out all the constellations, telling her stories about each one, and her eighteen-year-old heart had sighed.
She’d fallen hard. “I remember.”
“We were good together, Lily.”
“Were.”
“Ah.” He nodded. “It’s someone else you’re thinking of now.”
Jared. God, it was true. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Lil.” His gaze went to a spot over her shoulder, and then, reaching out, he put a finger over her mouth, ran it over her lower lip in a caress. “One more then, for old time’s sake.” He kept his eyes locked onto hers as he slowly leaned in and kissed her.
Her first thought-he felt warm and comfortable, nothing more. Her second, and far more unsettling thought-that she could think at all meant she wasn’t feeling anything close to what she’d felt when Jared had kissed her. It was shockingly simple. For Keith, she felt a mix of affection and youth, all of it firmly past tense.
In the present, right here, right now, she felt…nothing, and she pulled back. “Keith, I-”
His gaze was drifting over her shoulder, and she found that just odd enough to turn and see what it was that he kept looking at.
Jared had come back into camp. He dropped a load of wood, brushed off his hands and his shirt, but even with the fifty yards separating them, and the dark night, Lily could feel his shock.
“You did that on purpose,” she said to Keith.
His gaze cut to hers. “I’m thinking, someday, you’ll thank me.”
Lily whipped her gaze back to Jared. He looked at her, then turned away and went back into the woods.
UP UNTIL that moment when Jared had seen Keith kissing Lily, he’d found the act of dragging fallen logs and branches through the woods incredibly cathartic. Better than sitting on a bike in a gym. Much better than running laps at the high-school track.
Maybe not quite as good as a marathon bout of up-against-the-wall sex, but then again, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d had that, so he might be remembering it better than it really was.
But he doubted it.
And then he’d gotten that one-two sucker punch to the gut at the sight of Keith with his mouth on Lily.
Damn, that had hurt.
He dumped a whole armful of logs near the fire, and Jack, sitting on top of one of his own previous hauls, held up a hand. “Whoa. We’ve got more than enough.”
“Yeah.” Jared kicked a particularly large log, and felt the pain sing up from his toe to his shin. “Shit.”
“Yeah, the trick is not to let them get to you, dude.”
“The wood?”
“Women.”
Jared slouched against a tree. “How did you know?”
“It’s all over your face.” Jack twisted to where he could see Lily still talking to Keith. “Can’t blame you either. She’s hot.”
At Jared’s long look, Jack lifted his hands. “Hey, just because I’m hitched, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a good look now and then. But listen, when it comes to women, you’ve got to take a big mental step back or they’ll get you in the heart every single time.”
