Who’s the Boss?

“Forget it.” He entertained some half-baked idea about holding her down on his bed and proving to her in the only way he knew how to show her how much he cared.

“In your mind, you owed him,” she panted as she wiggled and shimmied to free herself, grunting when he simply slung her over his shoulder.

“It started out that way, yes. Damn, you’re heavy. Ouch-” He snarled through his teeth when she bit him on the shoulder, hard. “But I did start to care about you. Hell! I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He carried her up the steps, back into his room.

Tossing her to the bed, he watched her eyes darken with anger when she bounced.

“You only thought about me so much because of all the trouble I caused,” she accused, furious. Hurt.

When he knelt next to her, she crawled away.

“Don’t touch me.” She ran around the side of the bed, jerked her skirt off the floor and slid it over her legs. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

“Dammit, Caitlin.”

“No, I mean it,” she said when he came after her. “Don’t touch me now-I won’t be able to resist you if you do.” Biting her lip, she looked wildly around, then shoved her bare, petite feet into his large tennis shoes. Her anger faded at the look on his face. “This isn’t all your fault,” she allowed. “It’s mostly mine, actually. I’m an idiot to have fallen for you.”

“I fell for you, too,” he said quietly.

She straightened and tugged down the hem of his shirt with touching dignity despite the fact that only a fraction of an inch of her skirt stuck out the bottom, and she looked like a little girl playing dress-up. “It came far too late, Joe.”

Now he knew real, gut-wrenching fear. The kind he hadn’t felt since he’d been a kid with nowhere to go and nothing to eat. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I have to go.”

He reached for her again, but she backed away. Nothing had ever hurt as much as that. “Don’t do that,” he beseeched her, fighting nasty by going in low and snagging her to him. “Don’t back away from me-I can’t take it.”

“I feel like you betrayed me, Joe. I can’t forget that.”

“And I can’t let you go,” he said softly, gentling his hold. With minute care, he cupped her neck and drew her forward so that his mouth could find hers, quietly, slowly, then deeper, until he felt his insides start to crack apart at the emotional pressure built up there. His hands framed her face, then slid down her neck, over her shoulders to mold her body, drawing a soft, needy sound from her.

Then she shoved back, her eyes wide and luminous. “Don’t kiss me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like-” Her voice cracked. “Like you love me.” Covering her mouth with a shaking hand, she walked away, only to stop, hand hovering over the doorknob when he spoke.

“Don’t go, Caitlin.”

“I can’t stay here with you-it would hurt too much. I want more from you than just…this. I want trust. And love. If I stay, I’ll make both of us miserable, and I refuse to do that. I deserve more, Joe, and so do you.”

“Wait. Please-” With horror, he realized how close he was to actually begging her. Begging. God. He’d been through some unbelievably tough spots before, but he’d never resorted to begging.

She looked at him then, really looked at him, and he knew she was seeing past the exterior to the real him. To his deepest of souls. In her eyes, he could see the flicker of life. Of hope. Of love. Hard to accept, when he still hadn’t quite let himself believe that she could really love him.

“What should I wait for, Joe?”

The words stuck in his throat.

When he didn’t speak, the hope in her eyes went out. Simply extinguished. Liquid brown eyes cold for the first time since he’d met her, she left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

All Joe could do was try to swallow past the lump in his throat and watch her go.

He’d ruined everything, and with his eyes wide open.

All because he’d waited too long to trust her with the heart he’d protected from harm for years. All because he’d waited too long to tell her he’d finally, truly, irrevocably fallen in love.

Hell, maybe he should have begged.

13

ALONE IN HIS OFFICE around 4:00 a.m., Joe finally cracked his computer program. It simply clicked into place. Once upon a time, he would have jumped up and down, shouting and whooping for joy.

Now the victory was hollow and meaningless.

Yes, he’d been working for the better part of three years on the office system he knew would redefine software as most knew it. And yes, he’d once measured his success by it.

Success meant nothing now. Nothing at all without Caitlin to share it with.

Swiping his hands down over his haggard face, he looked around at the darkened office. The only light came from the glow of his computer. The only sound was from the coffeemaker down the hall-which was running perfectly smoothly now that the wiring had been fixed.

Still, what he wouldn’t give for Caitlin to be here blowing it up at this very moment.

Because only then would everything be perfect.

He’d once harbored great dreams on this program. It would make him famous. Make him a somebody. Give him wealth and security for the rest of his life.

Now he didn’t care about any of that. All he wanted was to be a somebody to a beautiful, caring woman named Caitlin Taylor, who wanted nothing to do with a cold jerk like himself.

He couldn’t blame her.

Shoving back from his desk, he stalked toward the door, suddenly needed fresh air.

Once outside, he stepped around the sleeping homeless man on the stoop and watched the early morning. Tipping his head back, he studied the stars.

A cool breeze rumpled his hair. In the distance, he could hear the drone of the cars on the freeway, and knew he’d get better scenery at home on the beach, where he could feel the cool ocean spray and smell the salt on the wind.

But at home, he’d be reminded of his failures. He’d probably stand in his bedroom and fantasize about having Caitlin back in his bed, golden hair spread on his pillow, her dark eyes wide with sensual wonder. Just thinking about it brought back the scent of her, the satiny feel of her skin against his.

If he closed his eyes, it was so clear in his mind. The huge bed. Sighs and murmurs, the whisper of clothing floating to the floor. The gentle, full spring wind teasing the curtains and blowing the air over their heated skin…

He’d driven her away, and the way he saw it now, he had two choices. He could be a complete fool and live, suffer with his decision to keep his love to himself.

Or he could do what he’d sworn never to do-beg.

HE’D SEARCHED the entire world for her. At least it felt that way. With humbling defeat, Joe tossed his keys aside, plopped down in his chair and set his head on the desk.

It was late afternoon, and he had to face the devastating facts.

Caitlin had disappeared.

“Still no luck, Joe?” Andy asked from the doorway.

Joe didn’t lift his head, but knew Tim would be hovering there, as well, waiting for news. “Nope.”

“You looked in her condo?”

Only six times. “Yep.”