no one understood shopping better than Caitlin Taylor. Besides, somehow, the mess appealed. Maybe because she so understood the misguided logic that had created the disaster in the first place. Maybe because she loved to sort and add and organize. Maybe just because she felt thrilled about feeling so useful. So purposeful.
It should have made her very happy. It shouldn’t have had her gaze covered in a sheen of unshed tears.
“No,” she muttered, blinking them ruthlessly back as she stuck her pencil into the electric sharpener. “I won’t cry another tear for him. Not one.”
“I don’t blame you.”
She nearly started right out of her chair at the sound of that familiar, unbearably sexy voice behind her.
“Hi,” he said softly when she looked up at him. Slowly, he shut her office door. He walked over to her desk while her heart raced. He looked the same. Stone-washed faded jeans fitted to that long, lean, mouth-watering body. Simple white T-shirt stretched across his chest. Brown wavy hair falling over his forehead, as wayward as the owner. But it was his eyes, those light blue, all-seeing eyes, that stopped her heart.
They held her, caressed her, refused to let her go.
“Are you going to sharpen that pencil until it’s gone?”
With a soft oath, she jerked it out of the sharpener. “What are you doing here?”
He smiled at her, then took a little bow. “Your new secretary at your service, ma’am.”
14
CAITLIN COULD ONLY STARE at him. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”
Joe leaned a hip against her desk, propping his weight against it. “It’s simple. You’re so busy working the accounts, Darla hired me to…answer phones for you. And…” His gaze searched the room, and she wasn’t so far gone in her own misery that she missed the nerves and tension in his eyes.
“And?” she prompted, uncertain.
He lifted a shoulder. “And whatever else you need.”
“What if I don’t need anything?”
Now he looked desperate, as well as stressed. “I can make coffee,” he added, brightening. “Real good coffee.”
She let out a little disbelieving laugh, but had no idea what to say. Her fingers fiddled on her desk for something to do. Grabbing another pencil, she shoved it into the sharpener.
“Are you going to sharpen all your pencils now?” he asked conversationally. “Because I could do that for you.”
“I don’t need any help from you.”
“I understand.” His gruff voice clearly said the opposite. So did his hungry gaze as it swept over her. “I certainly brushed you off enough times, didn’t I?”
“Is that what this is about?”
“Partly.” He gave her a little smile. “You have no idea how good it is to see you, Caitlin.”
“I’ve…been busy.”
Undeterred, he slid closer, and his gaze was the most soul-shaking, heart-wrenching one she’d ever seen. “You scared me to death, you know,” he said quietly. “I’m not sure whether to throttle you or kiss you silly.”
Unable to sit and calmly talk after all that had transpired between them, she surged to her feet. With lithe grace, he rose, as well, and they ended up toe-to-toe…face-to-face.
“Neither appeals,” she said quickly.
He touched her cheek gently, tenderly. “Why don’t we kiss and make sure.”
It took every ounce of self-control she had not to throw herself at him. “There’s nothing left, Joe.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“No,” she said, her eyes stinging. He’d not stopped touching her in that way he had, the way that told her how much he cared. “That’s how
“You’re wrong. There’s our future, for one thing.”
She might have scoffed, except he was looking at her as though willing her to understand. She didn’t. “We have no future, Joe. The things I said-about loving you. I was mistaken.” She met his gaze and wasn’t at all satisfied to see the pain her words had caused. She faltered, and knew if he didn’t leave now, she’d crumple. “Please go.”
The phone rang, and before she could reach for it, Joe smoothly scooped it up. “Ms. Taylor’s desk… No, I’m sorry. She’s unavailable at this time. A problem with your account?” He listened seriously. “I see. Okay. Hold on, I’ll get her.” Without taking his eyes off her, he hung up the phone.
She gaped at him. “Are you crazy? That’s not how to put someone on hold.”
“Oops,” he said mildly. “Sorry. Would you like to talk now?”
She let out a baffled laugh. “Do I have a choice?” She wished he didn’t look so good. Wished she didn’t miss him so much that she was shaking with it
He looked at her bleakly, all cockiness and self-assurance gone. “Where have you been, Caitlin? Have you had a place to stay? Enough money to get by? Dammit, are you even eating?”
“God, don’t.” She made herself busy at the shelving unit against the wall. “Don’t talk to me in that voice. It makes me hurt.”
He followed her, his big body sheltering her with warmth. “I hate it that you hurt. I hate that I caused it.”
“Please,” she begged him, unwilling to break down in front of him. “Please, just go. I can’t handle this-”
“If you’d just listen for a minute-”
“I
He held her close when she started to shake with anger, but then her anger was gone and it was grief making her tremble. “I’m listening to myself.”
“The way I should have all along.”
It was the steely quiet in his tone that made her look at him. “What do you mean?”
His hands gentled on her, but he didn’t let go. “I’m sorrier than I can say, Caitlin. You tried to tell me so many things-how you needed more to do on the job, that your father had pretty much deserted you…the way you felt about me. I didn’t listen,” he said with disgust aimed at himself, “because I couldn’t handle how you made me feel.”
“And how did I make you feel?”
“Terrified,” he said without hesitation. “Caitlin, I know next to nothing about letting people close to me. Even less about families and love. I was never close to anyone until your father. I taught myself to hold back, to protect myself, because it was easier. I couldn’t get hurt that way.”
“That’s no way to live,” she told him huskily.
His smile was warm and completely unexpected. “I know. You throw yourself wholeheartedly into absolutely everything you do. You give it your all, one hundred percent of the time, not worrying first about whether you’re going to get hurt or not. It’s one of the things I love most about you.”
Afraid to read too much into his words, she crossed her arms over her chest and backed up a step, out of his reach so he couldn’t touch her. So she couldn’t touch him.
“I cared when I didn’t want to,” he said. “I worried when I swore I wouldn’t. And, dammit,” he said roughly, his voice breaking, “I really need you to break in any time here and tell me you meant it when you told me you loved me.”
Tears filled her eyes as she stared at him mute. Panic filled him. “Wait!” he said quickly, slapping his forehead as he remembered. “Wait a minute. I have to tell you first. God, I really stink at this.” He drew a deep, ragged breath and met her drenched eyes. “I fell in love with you, Caitlin. No matter how many times I told myself I couldn’t, that I wouldn’t, I did.” Lifting her hand to his lips, he kissed her knuckles. “I love you hopelessly. Will you stay with me forever? Be my wife?”
She looked at him for an eternal moment, for once her eyes shuttering her thoughts from him. “I don’t want to go back to work for you,” she said finally.
