The question was asked as if it was the most logical course of conversation and it took Kit by surprise. “Yeah. I guess I do. No, I do. I really like her a lot.”
“There’s a girl in my class who likes me,” he said. “She keeps saying we’re gonna get married, but I tell her that I don’t like her. I’m never gonna like girls.”
“You say that now, but I think you’ll change your mind. Girls can be pretty neat. I mean, hanging out with the guys is all right. But girls are different. They’re really nice.”
Danny made a face. “They always wanna kiss me. Yuck.”
“Well, that’s not so bad, either-when you’re older.”
“You kissed my mom,” he said. “I saw you.”
Kit chuckled. “You did.”
“My mom likes you, too. I can tell. She’s always smiling at you.”
“I like it when she smiles,” Kit said.
“Yeah,” Danny said. “Me, too.”
CHAPTER FIVE
“AND AFTER THE KIDS went to bed we sat on the couch, with all the lights off, and we just kissed…and kissed…and kissed. It made me feel so young. As if he was my first boyfriend.” Roxanne pressed her hands to her warm cheeks, trying to hide the blush that she knew was there. “We do everything, but…you know. It’s so hard not to go any further.”
“Yeah,” Renee said. “Because he’s too embarrassed to buy condoms from the drugstore and you’re afraid that all your high school friends will think you’re easy. Geez, Rox, you’re grown-ups. You can have sex if you want.”
“No, we can’t. The kids are always upstairs. I couldn’t possibly let things get out of control. Besides, it’s only been a month.” Roxanne sighed, still remembering the feel of his hands on her skin, the sensation of his palm cupping her breast. With each evening they spent together, they took another step toward the inevitable.
Her life was a routine again, but this was a routine that Roxanne had come to crave. Over the past month, she’d settled into her job at the station, working Tuesdays and Thursdays. While she was gone for the day, an elderly lady from the neighborhood watched the children. Most evenings, Kit would come over for dinner or she’d take the kids to his house and they’d swim. On the occasional night he was out of town on business, she found herself at a loss, reaching for the phone to call him for the silliest little things and unable to sleep until he called her to say good-night.
“Why don’t you ask that sitter you hired to stay late some day? You and Kit could go out on a real date.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” Roxanne murmured. “You know what really scares me?”
“That when he’s got you in the bedroom, he’ll recoil in horror at your stretch marks? God, that’s what I’d be afraid of.”
“No!” Roxanne cried, the sudden image searing into her brain. “I-I never even thought about that-until now. Oh God, I’ve had four children. He’s probably only ever slept with single, svelte, non-mothers.” Roxanne pulled up her shirt. “I wonder if I could cover them with makeup.”
“Yeah, and when he’s running his tongue along your belly he gets a mouthful of Cover Girl.
“Everything now,” Roxanne said.
“No, tell me. I promise I won’t open my big mouth again.”
Roxanne paused, hesitant to voice her apprehension. It would sound so stupid. “I’m afraid of it being too good.”
“How can it possibly be
“With John, I was so in love, I didn’t see who he really was. I thought I had found the man of my dreams. The sex was so good. Then we got married and had kids and the passion just seemed to fade away. Then he found someone else.”
“You had sex with John before you got married? You told me you were a virgin until your wedding night.”
“You were my younger sister,” Roxanne said. “What was I supposed to tell you?”
“Does Mom know?”
“Can we stay on subject here? I’m afraid that the same thing is going to happen with Kit. We’ll be intimate and then I’ll make the same mistake, thinking that he’s the love of my life and I can’t live without him.”
“Then there’s only one thing to do,” Renee said. “Just use him for sex.”
Roxanne gasped, then was forced to stifle a giggle. “I couldn’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I think I’m in love with him,” she admitted. “I think maybe I’ve been in love with him since the very first time I looked at him. You should see him with the kids. He’s so good with them, especially Danny. And he treats me like a queen. He’s always bringing me flowers and doing special favors for me. A few days ago, he sent a workman over to install my dishwasher.”
“Oh, dear. Well that messes up the use-him-for-sex plan. Maybe using him for home repairs is better.”
“And then there’s his father we have to deal with.”
“He doesn’t approve?”
“It’s not that. I think Kit suspects that Carl’s in love with me, which he isn’t. Whenever Carl and I are together, all he talks about is Kit. I don’t know. Maybe I should just forget men altogether.”
“You’re twenty-eight years old, Rox. That’s too young to give up on men. You’ve still got lots of good years left. In fact, I’m going to take the kids tonight. I want you to call him up and invite him over to dinner. Wear a sexy dress, ply him with a few drinks and then get down to business.” She paused. “And the minute he leaves, call me and tell me every detail.”
“I can’t,” Roxanne said.
“You can. I’m not bringing your children back until you do. Don’t waste the opportunity.” Renee got up from the table and walked to the stairs. “Come on, kids, time to go. Your cousins are waiting for you. We’re going to McDonald’s for lunch.”
Roxanne joined her sister in the foyer, then gave each of the kids a kiss as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “What about their pajamas?”
“I’ve got extras.”
“What time are you going to bring them back tomorrow?”
“After you call me and tell me what a wonderful time you had.”
“Where’s Mommy going?” Danny asked.
“To a very happy place,” Renee said, herding the kids to the front door. Before she walked out, she reached out and gave Roxanne a quick hug. “Have fun.”
Roxanne slowly closed the door behind her sister, then peeked out the curtains, watching her children scamper down the sidewalk. With a sigh, she turned around and leaned back against the door. Could she really do this? Was she ready to risk it all for one night of passion?
“The longer I think about it, the more difficult it’s going to be.” She hurried to the kitchen and picked up the phone. She’d already memorized Kit’s cell phone number. With trembling fingers she punched in the number, but before the call connected, she hung up.
“What am I going to say? Hi, Kit, we’re having sex tonight, please bring condoms?” Maybe it was best to surprise him. He’d come over, thinking he’d be spending an evening with the kids and there she’d be, sexy dress, candlelit dinner, fire in the fireplace, fresh linens on the bed.
“Damn!” She didn’t have anything to wear, she needed candles and firewood and the laundry was sitting in a big heap upstairs. And if she didn’t tell Kit what she had planned, then she’d have to go buy the condoms herself. Roxanne glanced at her watch, calculating the time it would take for each task.
Sex was sure a lot harder than it was when she was married.
ROXANNE STARED at her reflection in the mirror with a critical eye. She smoothed her hands over her belly,
