The Erection Set

shoebox.

Damn it, Dog, we’re buddies. You saved my tail and I owe you, but how much, buddy, how much? We were full of piss and vinegar during the war, but for me the vinegar is all gone and all I have left is the piss and the way I’ve been leaking over your pile, there won’t even be much of that left.

You were such a nice guy at one time. No trouble. Always doing somebody a favor, flying extra missions when a pal wanted to get laid in London; dumping yourself in front of a junior birdman to get a Jerry off his tail; taking care of the dame who got stood up. Man, you were a fooler. I don’t know what happened or why, but you changed. You wouldn’t come back after it was all over ... no, you take a European discharge and disappear into the back alleys of the world and except for a few postcards from screwball places like Algiers and Budapest, nobody knows anything about you. Ernie Kirrel thought he saw you in Marseilles, but he couldn’t be sure.

Then I remembered yesterday’s News, the item about the new controls to be exercised in narcotics production. Turkey was cutting back on her licensed poppy fields; France was going against the illegal processors; the U.S. was funding for an all-out war against the distributors. I started to sweat all over again. The origin of the postcards made sense now. So did the money. Dog was in the racket and was cutting out before they had him over a barrel. Damn it, Dog, are you nuts? You went and heisted somebody’s bundle and they weren’t law-conscious, good-guy police types. They’d track you down, cut your nuts off and let you bleed to death while you were holding them in your hand.

. And me. I was in it now too. I was his protector. I couldn’t give the stuff away ... I couldn’t take a chance dumping it somewhere without leaving tracks. I just didn’t think that way at all. All they had to find was the money or the bag and I’d be holding my own balls too. There was no way out, none at all.

But there was. I had almost done it the first time. I picked up every bill lying around, repacked it, closed the lid of the suitcase and buckled the straps.

The whole thing would just about fit into the hall incinerator.

I was sweaty and grimy and looked forward to a cool shower when I stuck the key in the lock and walked into Lee’s apartment. He was standing in the middle of the living room pulling on his pants with nervous hands, his face white and puckered looking. He jammed his feet into a pair of loafers and never saw me until he picked up my suitcase and started toward the door and when he caught my eyes across the distance he nearly lost his grip on it.

“Going somewhere?” I shouldn’t have let my teeth show through the grin like that. Hell, I could have told him where he was going. His face was like the proverbial open book. He was scared halfway out of his mind, but he was still the same old Lee and going through no matter what happened.

“Don’t stop me, Dog.”

I shrugged, stepped aside and pulled a cigarette from my pack. “That leather’s tough. It won’t burn so easily. And besides, supposing some of that money starts drifting up the flue and lands in the street?”

The simple idea of it shook him and this time his fingers did let go. The bag slammed to the floor and rocked over slowly to lie on its side.

“You always could think things through, you bastard.” His face was mad now, more at himself for being stupid, then his anger turned back to me again. “Okay, where can I dump it?” He was ready to come through me again.

“Why not try the bank? There’s one across the street.” I looked at my watch. “We still have an hour until closing.”

“Don’t try bluffing me out, Dog.”

“You can always call, kid.”

“Okay, I’m calling,” he said.

I went over, picked up the bag and he followed me out, pulling on a tattered sport jacket over his T- shirt.

The teller called the manager and the manager called the president. Lee waited in the reception room while the president took me into his office. Two bank guards stood by watching Lee, and his lips were dry and cracked. When I came out, the bank was closed for the day, but we got a grand escort to the front door and a fine shaking of hands.

Outside, I handed Lee an envelope with the two pass-books, so he could look at them and he still didn’t have enough spit in him to wet his lips. All he could say was, “What took so long?”

“They had to count it,” I said.

“You’re crazy, Dog, absolutely crazy. You’re going to get nailed sure as hell. Right now they’re on somebody’s hot line and we’ll have visitors before we ever get home.”

“What makes you say that?”

He shook his head, astounded at my lack of interest. “Buddy, unless that was tax-paid, clean money with verified sources of ownership, your ass is in one hell of a sling.”

I grinned at him. “How about that? Now can I get my shower?” I asked.

I said, “Rose?”

“Yeah, Dog.” She sounded sleepy, but she knew my voice.

“I need you.”

“Sure. I knew you would. I’ve been waiting.”

“Sorry to be so long.”

“It’s only a day. Forget it.” I heard her yawn elaborately and let.her get it out.

“You’re going to get a kick in the twat, honey. Money you can grab, but take that from the slobbies, okay?” I said.

“Come on, Dog...”

“If you really want me to wake you up...”

“Try getting past the doorman.” She hung up with total, flat finality and I went up and got past her doorman. The fifth pick opened the lock and I kicked her out of bed and watched her lie there, eyes wide open for a good five seconds, wondering if she was going to be raped or robbed and when she finally recognized me all she could say was, “What happened to the doorman?”

“I gave him a hundred bucks,” I told her.

“He can’t be bought.”

“If he didn’t take it I’d of killed him,” I said.

“He’s a retired cop. An honest one.”

“So I lied. I said I was your lover ...”

“He believed it?”

“Shit. He said you deserved the likes of me,” I grinned at her. “He thought I was a cop too.”

“He would have asked for your badge.”

“Come on, I showed it to him.”

“Dog ... all that for a piece of ass? You could have had it for free if you wanted.”

“Then...”

“Shut up and get dressed.”

Rose said, “Tell me ...”

“No,” I told her, “Lee doesn’t know. Only you know. Amateurs are out and that’s for sure.”

“I want my due. Something’s on your mind and if I have to go along I want my due.”

“That’s old-timey talk, sweetie.”

“So give me my due.”

“Like what?”

“A piece of ass,” she laughed.

“Supposing it hurts?”

“Use some baby oil. It won’t hurt. I can control my sphincter muscle.”