You didn't get anybody.'
He put the brush down. 'Well,' he said, 'you made 3 mistakes. Demand number 9 will have to be amended by striking out the last five words. They simply don't like the idea of a woman poking around the cells. Demand number 12 is bad in toto. Even when he's out of jail a man resents having his personal liberties interfered with, and when he's in jail the feeling is greatly intensified. But worst of all was your offering them a dime apiece to join. That made them suspicious and we're going to have a hard time overcoming it.'
'I don't see you making any strenuous effort.'
'Is that so. I could make a suggestion right now. Are you game to step it up to two bits per capita?'
'But you said-'
'Never mind what I said. Are you?'
'Well…' I figured it. 'Three seventy-five. Yes.'
'But you wouldn't play spoon-bean, a game of skill. It's a funny world.' He arose and approached. 'Give me that ultimatum.' I tore off the sheet and handed it to him and he went to the door and tapped on a bar with his fingernail, 3 and 2. In a minute the skinny one with the Adam's apple ap- peared and Basil began talking to him in a low tone. I got up and sauntered over to listen.
'Tell them,' Basil said, 'that the offer of a dime to join is withdrawn. Tell them that the privilege of being charter mem- bers expires at noon and after that we may let them in and we may not. Tell them that our platform is Brotherhood, Uni- versal Suffrage, and Freedom. Tell-'
'Universal Suffering?'
'No. Suf-leave that one out. Brotherhood and Freedom. Tell them that if they don't like the idea of a public-spirited woman coming around and the provisions with regard to bath- ing, the only way these demands can be changed is by the membership of the C. C. P. U., which is organized and func- tioning, and if they don't become members they can't help change them. Incidentally, our President will pay you two bits for each and every one you get to sign.'
'Two bits? That's on the level?'
'Absolutely. Wait a minute, come back here. Since you're a trusty and are therefore technically one of us, you're eligible to join yourself if you want to. But you don't get any two bits for signing yourself up. It wouldn't be ethical. Would it. Presi- dent Goodwin? Wouldn't that be e pluribus unum corpus delicti?'
'Right.'
'Okay. Go ahead. Slim. Noon is the deadline.'
Basil went back and sat down and picked up the brush. 'No damn good as an agitator?' he inquired sarcastically.
'As an agitator, above average,' I admitted. 'As a treasurer, only so-so. You're inchned to overdraw.'
I don't know to this day what the C. C. P. U. membership amounted to at its peak. When Slim had got 4 new members signed up he came to our cell and requested a dollar before proceeding further, and I paid him, and by 10 o'clock he had 4 more and got another dollar, but at that point I was re- moved from the scene by a keeper coming to get me. I started out, but Basil interposed to say that I had better leave the other $1.75 with him, since I had assumed the obligation, just in case. I told him he shouldn't be so pessimistic about the President but agreed that his point was valid, and shelled out.
Captain Barrow, still with no sign of flinching, was wait- ing in the hall outside the warden's office. He told me curtly to come on, and from behind my elbow directed me out of that wing of the building, up two flights of stairs, and along an upper corridor to a door which I had entered on Tuesday afternoon in the company of Osgood and Wolfe. We passed through the anteroom to the inner chamber, and there sat District Attorney Waddell at his desk, with bleary eyes that made him look pudgier than ever.
I marched up to the desk and told him offensively, 'Nero Wolfe wants to see you, mister.'
Barrow snarled, 'Sit down, you.'
I sat, and scratched my thigh and shoulder and side and arm ostentatiously.
Waddell demanded, 'What about it? Have you changed your mind?'
'Yes,' I said, 'I have. I used to think that the people who make speeches and write books about prison reform are all sentimental softies, but no more. They may or may not-'
'Turn it off,' Barrow growled. 'And quit scratching.' Waddell said sternly, 'I advise you not to be flippant. We have evidence that you possess vital information in a murder case. We want it.' He laid a fist on his desk and leaned for- ward. 'We're going to get it.'
I grinned at him. 'I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me. My head is fairly buzzing with this new idea I've got and I can't think of anything else, not even murder.' I erased the grin and pointed a finger at him and made my tone ominous;
'Your head will soon be buzzing too. Don't think it won't. The C. C. P. U. is going to clean up, and how would you like to be kicked out of office?'
'Bah. You damn fool. Do you think Osgood runs this county? What's the C. C. P. U.?'
I knew he'd ask, since elected persons are always morbid about organizations. I told him impressively, 'The Crow- field County Prisoners Union. I'm President. We'll be 100 per cent by noon. Our demands include-'
I stopped and got my feet under my chair ready for leverage, because Barrow had got up and taken two steps and from his expression I thought for a second he was going to haul off and aim one. He halted and said slowly, 'Don't get scared, I couldn't do it here. But there's a room down in the basement or I could take you out to the barracks. Get this. You cut the comedy.'
