she had to do was ask Winter.
The barn was dark. When she called his name, no one answered. There seemed a restlessness even in the animal sounds in the barn. Kora folded her arms around her, wishing she’d brought her shawl, though the night was not yet cold.
As she walked out of the barn, Logan stood on the bunkhouse porch smoking a twisted cigarette he’d just finished rolling with equally twisted fingers.
‘‘Evenin’,’’ he mumbled as he played with the cigarette.
‘‘Good evening.’’ She took a step closer to the bunkhouse. ‘‘Is something wrong? Has something happened? I saw Win, but now I can’t find him.’’
Logan didn’t answer for a moment, leaving Kora to wonder how bad the news might be. Yet all seemed quiet. If something were amiss, shouldn’t men be running for their horses or everyone preparing? No more wounded had been brought in. She’d heard no shots. Only Winter’s stance had been her gauge.
She took a step closer to Logan. The doc’s buggy jingled in the background, but Kora paid little attention to Jamie and Wyatt as they climbed from the buggy and walked hand in hand toward the house.
When Kora was only a few inches from the older man, she whispered, ‘‘What is it, Logan? I have to know.’’
He put out his cigarette and looked up at her. ‘‘Win ain’t too good at voicing his feelings, but that don’t mean he ain’t got them.’’ When she didn’t answer, he added, ‘‘Just because a rabbit can’t scream like a hawk, don’t mean he ain’t hurting.’’
Kora had no idea what was happening or what Logan was talking about. Winter had never had any trouble telling her what he wanted done. He didn’t strike her as a man who was afraid to let the world know how he felt.
‘‘Where is he?’’ She decided asking Winter might be faster than deciphering Logan’s words.
The old man shrugged. ‘‘Don’t know if he ain’t in the house. His horse is in the corral.’’
Kora turned to walk back to the house. In her mind she rolled through all the breakfast talks they’d had in the past few weeks. It had been mostly about the trouble. He usually asked about her plans for the day. He seemed to enjoy leaning back in his chair and finishing his coffee as she told him. Once, in a moment when no one was around, he’d leaned across the table and touched her hand.
‘‘You might look among those apple trees,’’ Logan mumbled, as if he were thinking to himself and not giving advice. ‘‘I’ve seen him go there when he’s worried.’’
She glanced back, but Logan had already turned into the bunkhouse.
‘‘Thanks,’’ she whispered to no one.
Halfway across the yard, she waved to Steven and the gambler as they climbed into the buggy for the drive back to town. There was something about the way the gambler raised his left arm high to wave that reminded her of the fire, and she picked up her pace. If something else had happened, she needed to know.
The doctor and Wyatt drove off. She thought of returning for a lantern but didn’t want to waste the time. The sky was clear, offering enough light to walk by. If she went back to the house, Jamie might decide to go with her, and Kora wanted to talk to Winter alone.
‘‘Win?’’ she whispered as she moved into the trees.
Suddenly branches darkened her path. She walked slowly through the orchard, trying to remember the way she’d seen the trees placed. They seemed to have no pattern. She could almost see Win as a boy planting them after dark in a pattern only he knew. The wind became a breeze, and the first blossoms of spring made the air smell wonderful. Kora closed her eyes as she moved, enjoying the feel of the soft flowers along the branches, gently buffering her from the hard wood of the tree. The ground was uneven with roots. As she moved, the trees seem to close in around her, sheltering her, blocking all starlight, hovering.
Kora opened her eyes to blackness, suddenly afraid. A root almost made her fall. A dead branch scraped along her arm, pulling at her sleeve.
The perfume of the blossoms robbed her breath. Twisted branches seemed to reach toward her from all directions. A fallen trunk blocked her path.
‘‘Win!’’ she cried.
Before she could call again, he was there, pushing the branches aside, enfolding her in his arms.
Kora clung to him tightly, loving the way she could huddle against him and feel cocooned by his warmth. For a long while she didn’t say anything, but simply held him, letting her breathing slow to normal.
‘‘Are you all right?’’ he whispered against her hair.
‘‘Yes,’’ she answered. ‘‘I got turned around. Suddenly it seemed like the trees were closing in around me.’’
‘‘What are you doing out here? You could have gotten hurt stumbling through this place in the dark.’’ As always his voice was low, angry.
‘‘I came to look for you.’’ Kora raised her head, trying to see his face, but the shadows made it impossible.
‘‘Why?’’ he asked. ‘‘You seemed to be having a grand time with the doc.’’
‘‘I was.’’ Kora pulled an inch away. ‘‘He’s becoming a great friend.’’
She felt his body stiffen, but Win didn’t say a word.
‘‘He was waiting for his buggy. Wyatt and Jamie took it for a little ride after supper.’’ Kora wasn’t sure why she was explaining. Gage sitting in her kitchen didn’t seem anything unusual. And everyone, including Kora, had given up on trying to discourage Jamie from her rides with the gambler.
Winter was silent for so long, she didn’t know if he was going to say anything. Finally he let out a long breath. ‘‘I never heard you laugh like that.’’
In the darkness Kora felt like a light flashed on in her mind. Suddenly she knew what she’d never thought to guess. Win was jealous.
The knowledge made her feel powerful and cherished for the first time in her life. He wasn’t angry about the ranch, or at anyone.
It was time to put her shyness aside. The darkness became her ally, allowing her to do what she might never do in the light. She’d been the outsider, looking in all her life, and she couldn’t stand the thought that Win felt like that now.
She slid her fingers down his arm and closed her hand around his. ‘‘We need to talk,’’ she whispered as she led him the few feet to a fallen tree trunk.
Win was silent, but she could feel his body tensing for a fight.
‘‘Sit,’’ she ordered as she put her hands on his shoulders.
Slowly he lowered to the log. Now she was almost a head taller than him. Kora moved between his knees, trapping him. She pulled off his hat and laid it beside him.
‘‘Steven is a friend, but you are my husband. That night we talked on the porch, the morning you washed my hair, when I rode with you-all those were times I let you closer than I’ve ever allowed another person. And I did it not because I signed some paper and made an agreement for six months, but because I wanted to.’’
Kora rested her hands on his shoulders. ‘‘I could never feel about him the way I feel about you.’’ How could she explain that laughter was shallow compared to the way Winter made her whole body react just by being in the same room? Could he really have been so close and not know what he did to her? ‘‘I did those things and more. Every night I kiss you when you’re asleep. Not because I’m playing the part of your wife, but because I want you.’’ Kora surprised herself with her boldness.
She lowered her lips to his and lightly kissed him. He pulled away at the unexpected act, so she repeated her action more slowly.
‘‘And you,’’ she whispered against his mouth, ‘‘want me.’’
He returned her kiss, but didn’t respond otherwise, leaving Kora to wonder if she’d been wrong. He was the first man she’d ever wanted to touch her. Could it be possible that he didn’t feel the same?
Moving her fingers into his hair, Kora held his head in her hands as she lowered her lips once more for a longer kiss. She had to make him believe how much his nearness meant to her. She didn’t want him to feel like an outsider any longer.
When she straightened, he moaned slightly, but didn’t reach for her.
‘‘You know I was never in mourning, but I still needed time. But since that night you held me all the way back from the settlement, I thought you’d come up to our room if only to sleep beside me. It’s the way of husbands and wives. But you haven’t.’’
