accidentally.'
'Well, I don't know about that,' I said. 'I wouldn't say you're wrong, but I ain't sure you're right either.'
He started to take a swing at me. I ducked but another fella caught me by the shoulder and flung me toward the door. I went down on my knees and someone kicked me, and some others jerked me to my feet again, not being very gentle about it, and then everyone was hustling me out of the room and trying to sock me at the same time.
Myra said, 'Wait! Please wait! It's all a mistake.'
They slowed down a little, and someone said, 'Now, don't upset yourself, Miss Myra. This skunk isn't worth it.'
'But he wants to marry me! We were going to get married tonight!'
Everyone was pretty surprised, including me, and they were puzzled too, which I wasn't. It looked like I'd sold my pottage for a mess of afterbirth, as the saying is. I'd been chasing females all my life, not paying no mind to the fact that whatever's got tail at one end has teeth at the other, and now I was getting chomped on.
'That right, Corey?' A fella nudged me. 'You and Miss Myra getting married?'
'Well,' I said.-'Well, it's like this, or at least that's the way I see it. I mean, uh-'
'Oh, he's so bashful!' Myra laughed. 'And he gets excited so easily! That's what happened when-' She looked down at herself, blushing and brushing at her mussed-up clothes. 'He got so excited when I said yes, I'd marry him, that-that-'
The women put their arms around her and kissed her.
The men slapped me on the back, and began shaking my hands. They said they were sorry they'd misunderstood the situation; and doggone it, couldn't a woman get a man in a heck of a lot of trouble without even halfway trying?
'Why, we might have had you strung up by the neck, Corey, if Miss Myra hadn't set things straight! Now, wouldn't that have been a fine state of affairs?'
'Yeah,' I said. 'That would have been a good joke on me. But looky, fellas. About this marriage business-'
'A wonderful institution, Corey. And you're getting a wonderful woman.'
'And I'm getting a wonderful man!' Myra jumped up and threw her arms around me. 'We're getting married right tonight, because Mr. Corey just can't wait, and you're all invited to the wedding!'
It just happened that there was a preacher right up in the next block, so that's where we went- where everyone else went, I should say-and I got took. Myra dragged me along, with her arm hooked through mine; and those other folks brought up the rear, laughing and joking and slapping me on the back, and crowding on my heels so that I couldn't slow down.
I tried to sort of hang back, and they thought that was funny as all-heck. They thought the expression on my face was funny, and they practically went into hysterics when I said something like what was the god-danged hurry, and maybe we ought to think this over for a while.
It reminded me of one of those ceremonies you read about in ancient histories. You know. There's this big procession, with everyone laughing and carrying on and having themselves a heck of a time, and up at the head of it is this fella that's going to get sacrificed to the gods. He knows he'll get his ass carved up with a meat axe as soon as they stop throwing roses at him, so he sure ain't in no hurry to get to the altar. He can't get out of the deal, but neither can he put his heart into it. And the more he protests, the more people laugh at him.
So…
So that's what it reminded me of. A fella getting sacrificed for something that just ain't worth it.
But I guess a lot of marriages strike me the same way. Everything for show and nothing for real. Everything for public and nothing for private.
And that night, after me and Myra were in bed-I guess a lot of marriages turn out like that, too. Bawling and accusations and mean talk: the woman taking it out on the man because he was too stupid to get away from her.
Or maybe I'm just kind of sour…
13
I got my horse and buggy out of the livery stable, and drove back to the courthouse. Myra was jumping on me, wanting to know what had took me so long, almost as soon as I was inside the door. And I said I'd had quite a time getting things straightened out with Amy.
'I don't see why,' Myra said. 'She seemed calm enough when she left here.'
'Well, there's quite a few things you don't see,' I said. 'Like why you should keep Lennie in at night so we wouldn't have messes like this.'
'Now, don't you start in on Lennie!'
'I tell you what I'd like to start,' I said. 'I'd like to start home with Rose, so maybe we could all get to bed sometime tonight.'
Rose said yes, she really should be going, and she thanked Myra for the dinner and hugged her and kissed her good night. I went on downstairs ahead of her, before I got into another argument, and she came running down after a minute of two and got into the buggy.
'Ugh!' she said, scrubbing at her mouth. 'Every time I kiss that old bitch I want to wash out my mouth.'
'You ought to watch that cussing, Rose,' I said. 'It's liable to slip out sometime when you don't mean it to.'
'Yeah, I guess I should, goddam it,' she said. 'It's Tom's fault, the dirty son-of-a-bitch, but I'm sure as hell going to do my best to stop it.'
'That's my girl,' I said. 'I can see you ain't going to have no trouble.'
We were outside of town by now, and Rose moved over in the seat to snuggle up against me. She kissed me on the back of my neck and she put a hand inside my pocket and sort of wiggled it around; and then she kind of moved away a little, and gave me a funny look.
'What's the matter, Nick?'
'What?' I said. 'How's that, Rose?'
'I said, what's wrong with you?'
'Why, nothing,' I said. 'Course I'm kind of tired and wore out from all the excitement tonight, but there ain't nothing really wrong.'
She stared at me, not saying anything. She turned around in the seat, facing straight ahead, and we rode in silence for a while. At last she spoke, in a voice so low I could hardly hear it, asking me a question. I went cold all over, and then I said, 'For gosh's sake! What a thing to say! You know Amy Mason ain't that kind of woman, Rose! Everyone knows she ain't.'
'What the hell you mean she's not that kind?' Rose snapped. 'You mean she's too goddam good to go to bed with you, but I'm not?'
'I mean, I just ain't hardly acquainted with the woman!' I said. 'I barely know her to tip my hat to.'
'You were gone long enough tonight to get acquainted!'
'Aw, naw, I wasn't honey,' I said. 'It just seemed like a long time to you, like it did to me. You know. Because we were just waitin' to get together tonight, and it seemed like a heck of a long wait. Why, honey, I was just itchin' and achin' for you from the minute you showed up today.'
'Well…' She moved over a little in the seat.
'Why, for gosh's sake,' I said. 'What for would I want with Amy Mason when I got you? Why, it just don't make sense, now does it? There just ain't no comparison between the two of you!'
Rose came all the way over in the seat. She leaned her head against my shoulder, and said she was sorry, but I had acted kind of strange, and it did make her so goddam mad the way some men were.
