'Well,' I said. 'I got to admit I've been studyin' about it.'
'I'll bet you have! I just bet you have, you double-crossing skunk!'
'Yes, sir,' I said. 'I've been studyin' about it, but the fact is I can't make up my mind. It ain't that she's a sinner, because she's one of the quality an' they got their own laws and rules and I don't have to bother with 'em. But I'm afraid marryin' her might interfere with my work. Y'see, I got my job to do, Rose; I got to go on bein' High Sheriff, the highest legal authority in Potts County, this place that's the world to most people here, because they never see nothin' else. I just got to be High Sheriff, because I've been pecculyarly an' singularly fitted for it, and I ain't allowed to give it up. Every now an' then, I think I'm goin' to get out of it, but always the thoughts are put in my head and the words in my mouth to hold me in my place. I got to be it, Rose. I got to be High Sheriff of Potts County forever an' ever. I got to go on an' on, doin' the Lord's work; and all he does is the pointin' Rose, all He does is pick out the people an' I got to exercise His wrath on 'em. And I'll tell you a secret, Rose, they's plenty of times when I don't agree with Him at all. But I got nothing to say about it. I'm the High Sheriff of Potts County, an' I ain't supposed to do nothing that really needs doing, nothin' that might jeopardize my job. All I can do is follow the pointin' of the Lord's finger, striking down the pore sinners that no one gives a good god-dang about. Like! say, I've tried to get out of it; I've figured on runnin'away and stayin'away. But I can't, and I know I'll never be able to. I got to keep on like I'm doin' now, and I'm afraid Amy would never understand that or put up with it. So I misdoubt I'll be marryin' her.'
Rose gazed at me in the mirror. She studied me for a long time, puzzled, angry, frightened, and then she shrugged and rolled her eyes.
'Oh, brother!' she said. 'What a bull artist!'
'Now, god-dang it, Rose,' I said. 'You just think about it a little and it'll make plenty of sense for you. Ain't it logical that I should appear here in Potts County, which is just about as close to the asshole of creation as you can get without havin' a finger snapped off? And don't I have to be just another fella- just a man, like I was the first time-and don't I have to act like one, just the same as anyone else? When in Potts County, do what the Potts County folks do, like the fella says. An' if you want to promote anyone to glory, why do it privately, because people want logical explanations for everything, particularly for the miracle of promotin' people to glory.'
Rose made a farting noise with her lips. 'Brother!' she said again. 'Are you ever full of crap!'
'Now, don't you say that, Rose,' I said. 'Please, please don't. I've been a long time figuring things out, and now I finally done it; I finally explained things to myself, and! had to explain 'em, Rose, or go crazy. An' even now, sometimes, I find a doubt or so creepin' in, and I can't stand it, I honest to God can't stand it. So, please, honey, please don't… don't…'
I turned and stumbled off to my bedroom.
I prayed mightily and pretty soon I got a grip on myself, and my doubts went away. I prayed mightily and the strength flowed back into me, and I didn't hardly mind at all the names that Rose was fussin' and cussin' at me. And I could even have kissed her goodbye when she left, and maybe've given her a pinch or two, if she hadn't threatened to brain me if I so much as touched her.
24
I went to church like always, and I was asked to sing in the choir like I'd been doin' up until the time it had hooked like Sam Gaddis was going to beat me out for sheriff. So I sang out loud an' clear, shouting the praises of the Lord and god-dang if! didn't practically raise the roof with Amens when the minister started preachin'. I reckon I must've prayed and shouted an' sang louder than anyone in the church, and after everything was over the minister wrung me by the hand and called me Brother, and said he saw the spirit was truly in me.
'And where is good Sister Myra today? Not ill, I hope.'
'Well, no, I reckon not,' I said. 'She and Lennie drove out to see Sister Rose Hauck last night, and I didn't discover until this morning that the horse had run off and come back to town by hisself. I guess that's what happened, anyway, because the horse is in the stable an' she and Lennie ain't come home yet.'
'Yes?' He frowned a little. 'But haven't you phoned the Hauck house?'
'Oh, I didn't see no point in that,' I said. 'I couldn't have picked her up, anyway, before church and I sure didn't want to miss church. I figured I'll probably drive out in time to bring her in for evenin' services.'
'Yes,' he said, still kind of frowning. 'Well…'
'Hallelujah!' I said. 'Praise the Lord, Brother!'
I went on home, and fixed myself a bite to eat. Then I washed up the dishes, and put 'em away, and after I'd done that I went into my room and dropped down on the bed. Just laid there, doin' nothing in particular and not workin' very hard at it.
I found a long hair sticking out of my nose, and! jerked it out and looked at it, and it didn't look particularly interesting. I dropped it to the floor, wonderin' if falling hair from fella's noses was noted along with fallin' sparrows. I raised up on one cheek of my butt, and eased out one of those long rattly farts, like you never can get rid of when other folks are around. I scratched my balls, tryin' to decide at what point a fella stopped scratchin' and started playin'. Which is an age-old question, I guess, and one that ain't likely to be solved in the near future.
I listened, tryin' to hear Myra out in the kitchen.! started puzzlin' over where Lennie might be, and thinking maybe I ought to go out and look for him before he got into trouble. I wondered if maybe I shouldn't take a run out to see Rose, and pleasure her up a little if Tom wasn't to home.
It seemed like a good idea, the more! thought about it. And I was clean out into the living room before! suddenly remembered; and I dropped down hard into a chair, and buried my face in my hands. Trying to sort things out. Trying to fit them back together in the only way they made sense.
Buck came in-Ken Lacey's deputy, you know. I was kind of befuddled for a minute, so absorbed with fittin' things together that I couldn't quite place him. But there was the gun hangin' from his hip and his deputy sheriff's badge and his long leathery face, so of course I remembered pretty fast.
We shook hands and I told him to set down. 'I bet you prob'ly run into my wife downtown,' I said. 'I bet she told you just to come right on up here and walk in without knockin', because I wouldn't mind a bit, didn't she?'
'Nope,' said Buck.
'You mean it didn't happen that way?'
'Yep,' said Buck.
'Yeah?'
'Yeah,' said Buck. 'What happened was I was huntin' me a skunk, and when I'm a-huntin' skunk I don't stand none on ceremony, I just bust right in wherever I smell him.'
'Well,' I said. 'Well, now. How you standin' all this weather?'
'Tol'able. Just tol'able.'
'You reckon it's goin' to get any hotter?'
'Yep,' said Buck. 'Yes, sir, it's goin' to get a lot hotter. Wouldn't surprise me none if it got so hot for a certain fella that didn't keep his bounden bargain with me that he just naturally won't be able to stand it.'
I got a bottle out of the sideboard and filled a couple of glasses. He took the one! handed him, and threw it against the wall.
'Like to keep my hands free,' he explained. 'Kind of a habit with me when I'm around a fella that don't keep his bounden agreements.'
'Buck,' I said. 'I just couldn't do it! I was willin' to but it was just plumb impossible!'
'No, it wasn't,' Buck said. 'More some over, it ain't.'
'But you don't understand, god-dang it! I possolutely couldn't do it because-'
'Ain't interested in no becauses or whys or whichfors,' Buck said. 'You 'n' me had a bargain, and I done my part in gettin' Ken down here. Now you do your part an' drop that rope over his neck, or I'm goin' to put it around yours.'
