“Hey!” He sounded far too nice, like he was compensating for fucking up. “How’s the place?”
“Great.” Let him think she was living it up. Let him think he was missing out.
“Good, I’m glad,” he said with a relief she thought to be more about the fact she hadn’t immediately started in on him rather than her happiness. “So you just moved everything in by yourself?”
She clenched and unclenched her jaw. “No, Jay helped me.”
“Oh.” Now she detected a note of suspicion in his voice, which brought her some satisfaction. “Well, why didn’t you call me? I would’ve helped, too.”
“Are you serious?” She fought to keep the anger out of her voice but failed. “Just last night you promised you’d be here, but you never showed. You didn’t even bother to call.”
“I know. I’m so sorry, bables. I set my alarms this morning but slept through them all. Then I forgot until Wendy asked me a few hours ago if you were all moved in. I’m so, so sorry.”
Hot fury numbed her body, and all Kimber could do was shake her head, speechless at his audacity. Her boyfriend’s roommate, who didn’t even like her, could remember the day she was moving into a new place, but Dane couldn’t? Every time she tried to speak, she found that no words existed to describe just how gypped, crushed, and livid she was.
“I still want to come over and help,” he continued, “but when I went out to get smokes this morning, my back tire blew out so I’m stranded. If you want to come get me though-”
“No, forget it.” She licked her dry lips. “It’s over and done with now.”
For all the thoughtless things Dane had ever done, one thing Kimber had to give him credit for was being able to pick up on her cryptic double entendres. He fell quiet for a moment. “What does that mean?”
Kimber wished he didn’t sound so sad and scared; it was turning her inside out. “You know what that means.”
“But bables…”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Whatever it is we’re doing just isn’t working.”
“How is it not working?”
“How is it?”
“Don’t answer my question with a question. That’s not fair.”
A nervous titter rippled through her, and Kimber burst out laughing. He wanted to talk to her about fair? “It’s over, Dane, I’m sorry. Don’t call me back.”
Then she hung up the phone and cried.
That evening, Kimber and Ferney struggled to bring her desk through the front door of Kimber’s apartment while Pepperoni sat in a cardboard cave of boxes, watching. Grunting and groaning, the sisters pushed it across the carpet, leaving deep grooves in the fibers, and moved it near the window in the living area.
Kimber stepped back and inspected it, her chest heaving. “It’s not straight.”
“Just make all the other furniture crooked, too, and then it will be.” Ferney dusted her hands off on her designer jeans, what she called her play clothes.
Paul materialized from the kitchen, dressed in a flannel shirt better suited for the body of a lumberjack instead of his narrow frame. He held a frosty bottle of beer in one hand and a butterscotch crumpet in the other and nodded his approval. “Looks good. You ladies did a great job.”
“I bet we would’ve done an even better job if someone else had helped.” Ferney plucked the beer out of his hand and twisted off the cap, tossing it to him. He missed catching it and nearly dropped the crumpet, too, thanks to Pepperoni, who’d left his cave in favor of scaling Paul’s leg.
“Um, someone?” Paul’s face screwed up with terror as the cat inched up his thigh.
“Ew, Kim, save Paul.” Ferney gestured to her fiance with the beer. “I don’t want that dirty beast giving my betrothed rabies.”
“He doesn’t have rabies.” Kimber pried Pepperoni off Paul and plopped him in an empty cardboard box, figuring that finding a way to escape would keep the animal occupied for a few minutes. “And call him Pepperoni, not ‘that dirty beast.’”
“Please.
Kimber rolled her eyes and sank onto the futon Ferney and Paul had brought over in Paul’s SUV. “Thank you for that valuable insight.”
Paul cleared his throat and patted the back of the futon. “Is this okay, Kim? Was it what you were looking for?”
“It’s perfect.” Kimber nodded. “Thanks for the donation.”
“You’re welcome.” He eyed the piece of furniture with wistful longing. “It’s been good to me for the past few years. But Ferney said it’s time to move on.”
“That’s right.” Ferney nodded. “It’s time for grown-up furniture. You’re not in college anymore.”
“Grown-up furniture being Ferney’s furniture, obviously.” Kimber nudged her sister as Ferney sat next to her. “And I’m not in college anymore, either.”
“But this futon says you need to go back so you can open your own bar, remember?”
“I thought it says, ‘Please put your ass here,’ just like all good futons do.”
“Oh, you. I’ll miss your juvenile wit.” Ferney put on her best sad face as she passed her sister the beer. “I can’t believe we won’t be roomies anymore.”
Kimber shrugged. “Now that you and Paul are engaged, it’s only natural that you two would want your own space.”
“Yeah, but I’ll miss
“Speaking of living,” Kimber said, taking a sip and passing the bottle back, “it’s good to see you’ve made a miraculous recovery and are helping me like you promised to.”
“Hey, I was seriously ill, okay? It was the worst thing ever.”
“No, moving is the worst thing ever. I hate not knowing where everything is. Before you came over, I tried to unpack but found the whole thing so daunting that I just set up the TV and ate a box of Hot Pockets instead.”
“Why didn’t Dane help you?” Ferney asked in a voice that was far too innocent to not have ulterior motives. “Was he too busy doing bong rips to fit it in his schedule?”
Kimber shot her a warning look. She had told her sister about the breakup but asked her not to bring it up until the move was over and she’d had time to sort out her feelings. Now it seemed Ferney could no longer resist.
“Don’t look at me like that. It’s lame he didn’t help you and you know it. If he wanted to get in your pants so bad, he should’ve made a fucking effort.”
“He doesn’t have to make an effort anymore.”
“Unbelievable. The things that guy thinks he can get away with. Meanwhile, you and Jay never even went out, and I bet he was lugging your crap up and down those steps all damn day.”
Kimber blushed. “What’re you getting at?”
“I think you should give Jay a little thank-you lay for all his years of suffering and pining.”
Paul coughed. “I think I’ll go assemble that bed frame.” He scurried down the hallway, and Kimber heard him shut the bedroom door.
“Look at him go, pretending he can do manly work.” Ferney fluttered her hand. “All because he’s scared of a little girl talk.”
“I think he’s scared that you’re mentally ill. I know I am.” Kimber narrowed her eyes at her sister. “How could you say that about Jay? We’re best friends. We see each other like Ken and Barbie, with no sexy-time parts. There’s never been anything romantic between us and there won’t be. Neither of us would ever jeopardize what we have at the risk of trying for a relationship.”
“Oh God.” Ferney snorted. “If you really believe all that nonsense, then I hate to break it to you, but you’re the mentally ill one.”
Kimber licked her lips, forcing her annoyance with Ferney to take precedence over her heartbreaking disappointment in Dane. “Can we please just talk about something else?”
