“I’m sorry,” she said as sobs forced from her chest. “I wanted to help you. I wanted to…”
“Awe, babe.” He walked to her, wrapped her in his arms and kissed her head. “We’ll try again. That’s all there is to it.”
His simple, perfect answer caused more tears, and then a question hounded her brain. “Why? Why do you want to try again?” Maybe if he said he loved her, the pain of losing the baby she’d dreamed of this time would go away.
He stared at her reflection. “You’re upset. Let’s take a minute to get you cleaned up and calmed down.”
“I just…” She sniffed against his chest, wanting to tell him she loved him. But hadn’t she burdened him with enough confessions today?
A noise in the lobby grabbed his attention, and he loosened his grip on her shoulders, leaning closer to the door. “We need to get to Vin’s. I’m sorry. I…”
He was worried about Nonna, too. She couldn’t—shouldn’t—compete with that.
“No. No. I know.” She sniffed, trying her damnedest to get control of the disappointment. “You need to get to Vin’s.”
He cupped her cheeks and lifted her face to him. “It’s all going to be okay.”
She shook her head. “I know.” But she didn’t know anything. Right now okay seemed like a longshot. “You should go.”
His brows bunched together. “I thought…you would come, too.”
“That was before this.” She prayed for the words to be sure and strong. “I’m a mess. I don’t have what I need to be someplace else for the long haul, and I need to get out of this dress. You understand, don’t you?”
He nodded, but the brows remained tied. “Then I’ll drive you home. You can change and get what you need.”
“No.” She pushed away from him as noises in the lobby filtered through the louvered cracks in the door. “Go, Tony. Your family needs you. I’m fine. I really, truly am.” Liar, liar, but she was better than Nonna, and that’s where his focus needed to be.
His dark eyes widened on a lift of his chin. “I don’t like leaving you like this. It’s wrong.”
“Not if I tell you to go. I’m not dying, Tony. I got my period.” Could she have been a bigger bitch? Nausea, big and bold, turned her stomach inside out. Another symptom of her non-existent pregnancy.
He nodded slowly, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out her keys. “Okay then, I guess I’ll ride with Ange.” When she didn’t hold out her hand to accept the keys, he placed them on the counter. “I’ll call you, to let you know how she is.” And then he was gone.
Trish stood there, frozen against the bathroom sink, listening to the fading sounds outside the door. When she finally pushed into the empty lobby reality hit her.
Two years spent plotting and planning for a biological family, and she’d never been more alone.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Where’s Trish?”
Angie’s question wasn’t one Tony cared to answer, so he ignored her, staring at the horse on the dashboard of her ’65 Mustang instead.
“I went into that bathroom, remember. I know something was wrong. Is she sick?”
Why were the women in his life so damn nosy, and why did he feel this obligation to keep the peace by giving in? No wonder he ran every chance he got for so many years. It was easier than hanging around and being badgered by them.
“Tony?”
“She got her period. Okay? Cripes.” It was easier to word it that way than to say she wasn’t pregnant.
“Oh. Maybe that’s a good thing.”
He heard his patience snap. It sounded like ears popping from too much pressure in his head. “A good thing? Seriously? No, Ange. It’s not a good thing. It’s a terrible thing, a fucking awful thing. That baby meant something…to Trish.”
“Sounds like it meant something to you, too.”
She was not going to bait him again. “Whatever. I’m gonna try callin’ Aunt Connie again.” How shitty was his life that he was distracting himself from bad news with even worse news?
Of course, she didn’t pick up.
“It’s a hospital, Tony. She has it on vibrate, which means we won’t talk to anyone until they call us. Settle down.”
And talk about Trish? No thank you. So he’d stick with the next worst thing. “Why does the fluid make Nonna cough?”
Angie shrugged. “Vin did some research on his phone while we waited in the lobby. He said it could be building up in her chest cavity. I don’t know what it’s called. Some fancy name.”
“I don’t care what it’s called, either. I just wanna know if it means the cancer is spreading?”
She shrugged again. “All I know is they can drain fluid from her chest like they’ve been draining it from her abdomen. She’ll get some relief then. Let’s focus on that.”
Tony pressed fingertips against his eyelids until the pressure hurt, and then he whacked his head off the headrest a couple times. He didn’t want to focus on anything, because everything sucked.
He opened his mouth to tell Angie to swing by Trish’s house so he could grab his bike, then he could ride far and fast as soon as he knew Nonna was comfortable. He could also check on Trish, make sure she was okay.
But what if she wasn’t? He closed his mouth without saying a word. If Trish was upset, he wouldn’t want to leave. It’d be the same feeling he’d felt when they were alone in the restroom, like he was being torn apart.
“You know, up until today I couldn’t figure out why she was with you.”
Tony sort of glared at his sister, knowing exactly which “she” she was talking about. Was it too much to ask for her not to analyze this relationship? Heck, Tony was still trying to figure out exactly what it had become. Maybe Angie figured out what brought Tony and Trish together in the first place—Trish’s baby-making plan. It was definitely too much to ask for Angie to think it possible that Trish was with him because he was worthy of her.
“You’re different with her, you know?” Angie continued. “How you hold her hand and look at her, all that touchy-feely crap I’ve never seen you do with anyone. And she talks to you, more than she talks to me, which is warped, but also a good sign. I mean, it must mean you’re good to her…for her.” The wrinkles on her face tightened. “Blah, blah, blah.” She lifted her hands from the wheel, waved them in front of her like she was erasing the sentiments, and then shot him a shitty grin.
Well, color him surprised. Part of him wanted to thank her, but that much emotion between them would’ve been plain weird. “I don’t know about all that,” he said, trying to play it off.
“Well, how ’bout we say you have moments? And the last thing I’m ever going to say about it is she’s good for you, too.”
Tony had less of a problem agreeing with that, but he didn’t say so. Saying it would’ve made him miss her even more. Inhaling, he focused on the blazing ball of sun rising above the U.S. Steel Tower.
“What I’m trying to say is, you’re here, and that’s…something.”
He caught Angie’s insinuation, that Trish was somehow the reason for him not bailing on this family vigil, like he’d bailed on every one when Dad was sick. Maybe Tony being here did mean something, but he was too worried about the women he loved to analyze it.
Not until Angie parked in Vin’s packed driveway did Tony’s thoughts catch up with him. He was here, because he was worried about Nonna. He loved her. And if he wasn’t here, he’d be with Trish, because he loved her, too. He had to. He couldn’t imagine life without her by his side.
Baby or no baby, he wanted to be with Trish DeVign.
His jaw dropped, and he feigned an itch so he could scratch his chin and manually close his gaping mouth.
He was in love?
