Baby by Design

Vin was going to shit.

Now what? He leaned closer to the passenger door, hoping Angie didn’t catch onto his erratic breathing. If he told Trish how he felt, she might not feel the same. But what if she did? What if all the hypotheticals could be real?

Tony didn’t know what shocked him more, that he managed to fall in love or that he wanted hypotheticals that included marriage. Marriage. He couldn’t think of anything better than being hitched to Trish, waking up to her day after day, making love to her night after night, and laughing with her every moment in between.

As soon as the Nonna situation was under control, he was going to find Trish and tell her.

* * *

Trish stared at the telephone, wanting to call Tony. But when she picked up the phone, she wondered if she shouldn’t call Angie instead. Maybe she’d pushed him too hard. Maybe he wasn’t calling for a reason.

Like maybe there’s no news. Of course, that could be true.

She slid the pain reliever off the counter and popped four into her mouth, swallowing them without a drop of water. They caught in her throat for a few seconds, and for those few blissful seconds, she thought of something other than the Corcarellis. But then she swallowed the pills completely, and the worry for Nonna and questions about Tony returned. Trish might not be a Corcarelli by blood, but lately the family had consumed her. In some ways, she felt like she belonged more to them than to her adoptive parents.

Curling up on the couch, Trish lifted her phone and this time dialed her mother, the woman who used to put her to sleep with stories about adoption being love by choice, not by accident.

The older Trish got, the more she resented the reminder that she came into this world an accident, and the more she forgot about how powerful a choice could be. She needed to make the choice to appreciate her mother for what she did give, because love was never easy.

“Hello.” Delores sounded like she answered the phone following a five-mile run. Trish trampled the impulse to assume the breathlessness meant her mother didn’t have time for her. She’d done enough overthinking for one day.

“Hi. I thought you might want to know they had to rush Tony and Angie’s grandmother to the hospital.”

“Oh my. I’m sorry to hear that. Which hospital, dear? I’ll have an arrangement sent with a card. Are you doing something on your own or should I include you?”

“I’ll do something on my own.”

“Fine, dear.” There was a pause, and then a sigh. “Something else is wrong, isn’t there?”

“Nothing as important or serious as Nonna.”

“Work?”

“It’s good.”

Another sigh, like it was hard for her to even think about her next words. “And Tony?”

“It’s complicated.” Even more complicated than having this conversation with her mother.

“Well, I think…”

“Mother, I already know what you think, and it’s time you know what I think.” Trish sucked a big breath into her lungs. “I love him. I don’t know how it’s going to turn out, but me loving him isn’t going to change.” She expected the shocked silence. “I just wanted you to know.”

“Does he love you?”

The phone chimed in Trish’s ear and vibrated in her hand. She pulled it back far enough to see Tony’s name flashing on the screen. “I gotta go. That’s him with news about Nonna.”

In the seconds that it took to disconnect one call and connect with the other, there wasn’t relief over avoiding her mother’s question so much as there was resignation at what the answer would be. Trish loved Tony, like it or not, and whether or not he loved her.

“Hey, how is she?” Trish asked without the customary hello, wanting to get straight to the point before she said something stupid.

“Better. They’re draining the fluid.”

“Good.” And it was good, good that Nonna was feeling better and good to hear his voice.

“How are you?”

She smiled, because at least he cared. “Better, too.”

“You up for company?”

Her heart flipped. “Sure.” But then she heard the ruckus in the background. “I don’t want to take you from your family.”

He was quiet longer than necessary, unless he was struggling with where he wanted to be.

“I could…come there,” she babbled. “If you wanted me…needed me to.”

“Okay.”

Their breathing filled the line, and a feeling of importance overwhelmed her. Occasionally in life, when you made the right decision, it pummeled you. “I’ll be there soon.”

By the time Trish reached Vin’s, the moon glistened on the river. Cars filled the drive and lined the street in both directions. She rounded the corner and parked a block away, thankful she wore ballet flats instead of heels. As she approached the house, the shadow of an open car door and two outstretched legs caught her eye. A few more steps and she could see it was Angie.

“If you’re going in there, you’re in for a wild ride,” Angie said, poking her face in the V of space created by the open door. “Look at me, hiding. Shit.” Her exhale echoed in the night. “I just needed air.”

“I thought everything was okay?” Trish stood in front of Angie who was sitting sideways in the driver’s seat—barefoot—heels tipped over on the pavement.

“I guess it’s okay, if okay is nobody ever knowing how long it’s going to go on. Some jackass in the ER told my mother three more months.”

Trish’s heart seized.

“But, hell, they told my dad he had six months and he lived two years. So who knows? It’s all a fucking crap shoot.” She punched the door. “I hate dice games.”

Which was an understatement. Trish once saw Angie whip a pair of dice across the table at a dealer from the local casino who told her she was hot. Hot, as in winning. Didn’t matter to Angie.

The memory brought a smile to Trish’s face, and then as if Angie was reading her mind, Angie smiled, too.

“I swear to God he was looking at my boobs that whole night,” Angie sneered. “Jerk.”

And they laughed, because, by God, someone needed to.

When the hysteria died, Angie bent at the waist and picked up her shoes. “You should go find Tony. He’s new to this whole group worry thing. When I snuck out he was trapped in the kitchen between Aunt Helen and Uncle Giacomo. He may have stuffed his head in the oven by now.”

Trish chuckled again. “What about you?”

“I think I’m going to go…for a ride, at least…just to clear my head.”

Trish loved Angie and Tony too much to point out how the tables had turned.

A few minutes later, Trish stood on Vin’s front porch, watching Angie drive away. When the taillights faded, she faced the door, her gaze zipping from knob to bell. She should ring, right? She wasn’t family. Then again she was invited, expected. Tony asked her here.

“If you already rang, they probably didn’t hear you.” She turned toward the gravelly voice and the large man strolling up the drive. He barely fit between the rows of parked cars. “Or they’re lazy. Probably the latter.”

“I didn’t ring.” She followed the glowing cigarette Vin tossed to the ground.

He crushed the ember under his dress shoe. “Do me a favor. Don’t tell Ange about that. She’ll tell my ma, and then I’ll never hear the end. It’s not a habit. It’s a crutch. Big difference.”

Trish smiled, nodded and moved aside as he stepped onto the porch.

“He’ll be happy to see you.”

The random statement gave Trish some much needed courage. “I hope so.”

Vin smiled in return. “I know so. He looks kind of lost without you.”

Was it fair to wish it true, in spite of the reason they were gathering here?

Desperate to not overthink things, Trish followed Vin through the spotty crowd. She waved and smiled