19. Passion and Purgatory
I was suddenly woken by anguished female screams, desperate male shouts, the shrill clash of weapons, and a dreadful realization: I had fallen asleep on my watch.
I jumped to my feet, put on my helmet and drew my sword. As I did so, an arrow cut through the air and hit me just above my left eye. Luckily, it caught the rim of my helmet; even so, it was a powerful blow and I started to lose consciousness. But not before I saw a shadowy shape to my left and felt the searing pain of a blade of steel splitting open my hauberk and cutting into my stomach.
Then there was nothing; for how long, I know not. When I regained a vague consciousness sometime later, I could hear nothing other than the typical sounds of a hot day in the forests of Anatolia. My head throbbed, I could feel blood on my face and, as I lifted my helmet, I found a very painful gash on my forehead. The arrow had made a dent in the edge of my helmet deep enough to cleave the metal, allowing the tip of the arrow to cut into me. Even so, the helmet had saved my life.
The wound to my midriff was much worse. The shattered rings of my hauberk were a dark red, as were my leggings down to my knees. I was lying in a pool of blood, but most of it had dried, which I hoped meant I had stopped bleeding. However, I knew that if I started to move, the bleeding would almost certainly start again. Nevertheless, I had no choice; not only was I desperate to find the others, but I was also driven by the terrible thought that whatever their fate might have been, I was responsible.
I could breathe well enough, had no blood in my mouth and had not pissed any, so I prayed that the blade had not torn into my innards. I managed to get to my feet and staggered unsteadily to the camp. I could feel the bleeding start again, but it was the least of my concerns. The sun was high; it was midday, and very hot. I saw nothing at first – no horses, no signs of the camp – but then I tripped. To my horror, the obstacle I had fallen over was Rodor.
His lifeless face, covered in the dirt of the ground, was pointed towards me at a contorted angle, his eyes gawping, frozen in pain. He had several arrows protruding from his back, his sword was still sheathed and his shield was nowhere to be seen. Then I saw Modig a few feet away; he had suffered a similar fate, but his eyes were at rest. Although I could feel every movement open my wound even wider, I turned to peer into the trees for the others.
At first, I could find no trace of them, but then I saw the bottom of a shoe protruding from the side of a tree trunk. It was Godric, and close by were Penda and Leax. All three had been hacked to pieces. I turned away, unable to dwell on the scene. The anguish I felt in my heart was now far greater than the pain of my wounds, and I sank to the ground in despair. I was holding my stomach with my left hand; it was covered in fresh blood. I needed to take off my hauberk to try to dress the wound, but there was no sign of Anna, Theodora and Alun, which was a much greater priority.
I could see marks in the dirt nearby, which looked like the impressions of someone being dragged along the ground; I hauled myself up to follow the spoor. After about twenty yards, I came across a sight even more horrifying than the ones I had already seen.
In a torture by crucifixion, Alun had been stripped naked and tied to a tree by two of its branches. He had been emasculated and his eyes had been gouged out. He was covered in blood and his head was lolling to one side. I was certain he must be dead. But as I cried out his name, there was a slight movement of his head. By the time I limped over to him, he was spitting blood from his mouth and beginning to speak.
‘They were Armenians, not Muslims, and they had Kipchak bows and Phrygian caps. They must have been mercenaries on their way to the Holy Land. Perhaps it was a chance encounter; perhaps someone saw something, but they’ve taken everything, including the women.’
I cut him down as carefully as I could, but his lukewarm body convulsed in spasms of searing pain. I gently lowered him to the ground and supported his head against the trunk of the tree.
‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear them coming; I fell asleep on my watch.’
‘Don’t be sorry, they came from behind us. You would not have seen or heard them. We were all awake, but they were among us before anyone saw anything. They slaughtered the men before they could draw their weapons.’
‘Did they harm the girls?’
‘No, but they took them. I’m so sorry. I know you and Anna had become lovers, I saw you come back to the camp with her just before dawn.’
‘I must try to find them.’
‘They have been gone for at least three hours, and they took our horses and everything worth stealing. They will be miles away by now. I can hear that you are in pain, Ranulf. Are you injured?’
‘Yes, I am dazed from an arrow that smashed my helmet. And I have a stomach wound.’
‘They must have stumbled across you as they were leaving. Let me help you get your hauberk off.’
‘No, let’s try to make you comfortable.’
Alun shivered even more profusely and winced in pain.
‘There’s no point, my maker awaits me; the meeting will be soon.’
My friend suddenly grasped my hand tightly and pulled me towards him.
‘There is something I must tell you before I die… and something I must give you.’
Alun adjusted his position and took a couple of deep breaths. His breathing was shallow and all colour had left his face. His head turned, as if searching with his absent eyes for the direction of my face; he grabbed my arm in a desperate, pitiful gesture. The faintest of smiles creased his face before another tremor of pain took it away. He took another breath and started to speak.
‘First, you must make me a promise.’
‘Of course.’
‘You must go back to Richard and find a way to reconcile yourself with him.’
‘But he banished me.’
‘I didn’t suggest it would be easy, but you must find a way. You’re a resourceful man and an excellent soldier – find a way, please!’
Without hesitating, I agreed; I had no choice.
‘I will try. You have my word.’
Alun’s head suddenly fell to one side. He was in a dreadful state; his eye sockets were deep caverns of flesh, from which rivulets of fresh blood still oozed. I desperately wanted to rouse him to hear his story, but knew it was kinder to let him fade away peacefully. I felt my own wound, which was still stabbing me sharply; my head still throbbed, and my vision was less and less focused. I was losing too much blood.
Alun suddenly moved his head and spoke in a thin, laboured voice.
‘Is there any water nearby?’
‘There’s water at the lake, but there’s nothing to carry it in.’
‘Drag me there; I can help you with my legs.’
‘You’re in no condition to be dragged anywhere.’
‘It doesn’t matter. I’m a dead man; I just need a few more minutes to finish my story.’
I summoned all my strength. With my hands under Alun’s armpits, I started to pull him down the hill towards the lake. It must have been an excruciating journey for him, but he withstood it without complaint. My own agonies were almost unbearable, but they were as nothing compared to what he must have endured.
When we reached the lake, we both collapsed to the ground and recovered our breath for several minutes. Then Alun rolled over and submerged his whole head under the water to drink deeply. The impact of the cold water on his eyes must have seared deep into his brain, but he just shook his head like a dog and asked me to lean him against a nearby rock. He also asked me to rob the body of one of the men so that he could wear their braies to hide the horrors of his mutilation. When he was as ready as his condition allowed, he continued.
‘I haven’t got much time; my life is slipping away quickly. Can you lift me up a little more?’
We were both exhausted, but the one saving grace was the warmth of the Anatolian sun. Had we been cold, Alun would have long since expired. I pulled Alun higher against the rock.
He adjusted his position by lifting himself on his hands and took a long, deep breath.
‘Ranulf, would you sit closer to me and hold my shoulders? The pain is hard to bear; I need your strength to continue.’
