Revealed

“Good job today, Zoey.”

Lenobia’s voice startled me and Persephone tossed her head at my jumpy reaction. I soothed the mare and gave Lenobia an apologetic look. “Sorry, my mind wasn’t here.”

“I completely understand.” She leaned against the stall doorjamb. “Grooming Mujaji is like taking a sleeping pill for me. She’s made me so relaxed I’ve even curled up in her stall and slept afterwards.”

I sighed. “Yeah, Persephone usually does that for me, too.”

“But not today?”

I shook my head. “Not today.”

“Want to talk about it?”

I almost gave her my automatic, that’s okay, I’m fine, answer, but then I remembered how she’d said she’d waited to find Travis for more than two hundred years. She must know about complicated love—plus, Lenobia was more than just a professor, she was my friend. I changed my auto answer. “Yeah, if you have time, I do want to talk about it.”

Lenobia pulled a bale of hay into the stall and sat. “I have time.”

I drew a deep breath, not sure where to begin.

“Just groom the mare and talk. The rest will come naturally,” Lenobia said.

I grabbed the soft curry brush and followed the sleek pattern of Persephone’s coat. And I talked.

“I know it’s normal, actually it seems to be kinda expected, for a High Priestess to choose more than one guy, but I just don’t get how they do it.”

Lenobia laughed.

“What’d I say?”

“Oh, Zoey, I apologize. I’m not really laughing at you. It’s just that I forget how very young you are and how many things there are about vampyres that you don’t truly understand.”

“Like how to juggle more than one guy,” I said, nodding.

“Well, perhaps, but it seems to me that the first thing you should understand is that High Priestesses are not expected to have more than one lover at a time. They simply have the option to choose more than one partner without being judged, as would a human woman in today’s culture.” Lenobia crossed her legs and leaned back against the stall wall, as if she were settling in for a long, intimate talk. “Zoey, think about what your life-span will be when you complete the Change.”

“If I complete it,” I said.

Lenobia smiled. “I have confidence in you, so let’s say when you complete it. Do you know how old I am?”

“Old,” I said before thinking. “Uh, sorry. It’s not like you look old or anything.”

“I am not offended. I was born in the year 1772.”

“That is really old!” I blurted.

Her smile widened. “If fate is good to me, I have probably only lived half of my life-span. Since 1772 I have loved only one man, but that was my choice—my vow. Most vampyres find several loves during their lifetimes. Sometimes they are already involved with another vampyre when they meet a new human love—sometimes it is the other way around.”

“So, it’s not about being expected to have lots of guys at the same time,” I said.

“That’s right. It’s more about logic and life-span. And choice. Because we are a matriarchal society, we can choose without judgment or condemnation. Does that help you with your problem?”

“Well, yes and no. Thanks for explaining the multiple guy thing to me, but I still don’t know what to do about the Heath slash Aurox thing,” I said miserably.

“Why do you have to do anything?”

“Because I have done something. And ignoring it isn’t fair to Aurox or to Stark.” I sighed again. “Or, I guess, to Heath.”

“So you have taken Aurox as your lover, along with Stark?”

“No!” I squeaked, and peeked over Persephone’s shoulder at Lenobia. She gazed steadily back at me, nonjudgmental and serene. “I drank a little of his blood, though,” I admitted.

“And because you’re not like a normal first-year fledgling, that’s very addictive and exciting for you. Correct?”

“Yeah, correct,” I admitted.

“Does Stark know?”

“Oh, god, no! He’d totally freak. He’s already acting like a possessive jerk whenever Aurox is anywhere near me.”

“But he knows you were mated to Heath and that Heath’s soul is within Aurox.”

“That’s why he’s acting like a possessive jerk. Apparently it’s not okay with Stark for me to see Heath, ur, Aurox. And as far as Stark knows we’ve hardly even talked to each other.”

“Aurox is drawn to you.”

She didn’t phrase it as a question, but I answered. “Yeah, he is. It’s because Heath’s inside him. It’s not like a conscious thing. It’s weird—and unsettling. Aurox will just be this kid who is kinda cute, but who I’m not particularly attracted to or anything, and then—bam!—I’ll blink and he’ll say or do something that is so Heath-like that it makes my heart hurt.”

“If you weren’t bonded with Stark, would you want to be with Aurox?”

I chewed my lip. “I’m not sure. I love Heath. I’ll always love Heath. But Aurox isn’t really my Heath.”

“You mean it’s like how Kalona was drawn to you because within you is the maiden A-ya’s soul, and he recognized her presence?”

That comparison surprised me, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. “I think you’re right about that. Wow, that actually makes it easier for me. Kalona did want me because of A-ya, and I have to admit I could feel a deep pull toward him, too. But it wasn’t real. I’m not A-ya, and I didn’t choose to love him. Aurox isn’t Heath. He doesn’t need to choose to love me—remnants of Heath love me, that’s all.”

“I hate to complicate things for you, but to be fair you need to know that Aurox could love you as well. Travis is a reincarnation of my only mate, Martin. He does not have Martin’s memories. He is actually very dissimilar to my Martin, and yet he is as eternally devoted to me as I am to him.” Lenobia’s smile was tender, her eyes filled with tears. “You do get to take love with you, and some of us are lucky enough to find it again.”

“Lenobia, I’m super happy for you, but you did just complicate the crap out of this for me,” I said.

“Zoey, your situation was already complicated. Do you want my advice on how I would handle it?”

“Hell yes,” I said.

“This is going to sound cold, selfish even, but were I in your place, I would decide who I truly wanted to be with without worrying about what either of those boys wanted. The only way you will ever be content with your choice is if you make it for yourself and not for someone else.”

I put down the curry brush and stared at her. “Is it really as simple as that?”

“If you can be honest with yourself, and then follow through with that honesty, yes, it is,” Lenobia said.

“You’ve given me a lot to think about, but at least now I have a direction to go,” I said.

“You have to love and be true to yourself before anyone else can love and be true to you.”

The bell that signaled the end of school rang. I fisted my hand over my heart and bowed respectfully to her. “Thank you, Lenobia.”

Lenobia returned the traditional gesture and said, “I wish you always to blessed be, Zoey Redbird.”

“Stark, we need to talk.” I hated to say those words probably as much as Stark hated to hear them. I mean, who doesn’t? Has anyone’s mom or dad, girlfriend or boyfriend, teacher or boss ever started a good conversation with them?

“Okay, but I thought we were going to watch Big Bang Theory and, you know, spend some alone time together.” He gave me a halfhearted attempt at his cocky grin.

“Well, we can still do that. Maybe. If you want to after we talk.”

“You’re freaking me out,” he said.

I held my hand out to him. He took it and sat next to me on the bed. “I have to say some things to you that