Barefoot by the Sea

The junonia wasn’t a symbol of her dreams coming true. It was…meaningless. Just like this marriage.

“It’s only…a shell.” Holding the shell loosely, she walked with the two men to the very edge of the foamy Gulf water.

There, Mayor Lennox held up his hand. “Okay, dearly beloved, blah blah blah. I’ll read some stuff, ask you a few questions, and then you’ll say those vows. John, you’ll go first.”

“Okay.” He held up the card. “My dearest Tes—”

“You don’t have to read them now,” she said.

“But I want to.” He looked at the mayor. “Indulge me, will you?”

Mayor Lennox angled his head as if it say “Whatever,” and John turned right to Tessa, taking one of her hands. Behind them, everyone quieted.

John cleared his throat and Tessa looked down at their joined hands, her gaze locked on the shell that she’d once thought would be a sign she would have a baby.

“My dearest Tessa,” he said again. “I stand before you a simple man with a simple need.”

Not so simple, it seemed.

“I need you.”

“Awww.” That was Zoe, of course.

“I need you,” he said again, softer this time, forcing her to look up.

And there was the agony in his eyes one more time. The look of a man who knew pain so deep and indescribable that it had etched misery on his heart.

All he wanted was his children. Yes, she was hurt and mad and embarrassed. Worse yet, she was still feeling things for him that would probably make her more hurt and mad and embarrassed when this all ended.

As it would have to.

“And I promise—”

She held up her hand to his lips. “No.”

“No?” His eyes flashed deep, dark, and afraid.

All he wanted was his children. If she didn’t understand that, then who did? “No…you don’t have to do this now. Let’s save it, John.” She touched his face, vaguely aware of the shell in her palm. “Save it for the real wedding. The real one.”

She felt the breath from his sigh of relief. “The real one,” he repeated. Reaching out, he pulled her into his arms and squeezed, his heart pounding so fast and furious she could feel it through his muscles. His heart that deserved to be healed.

She wrapped her arms around him, heard the ooohs and ahhs of the crowd, and laid her head on his chest.

“Thank you, Tessa,” he whispered into her ear.

Behind him, she opened her hand and let the shell fall to the sand, knowing the next wave would wash it away.

That was fine. Someone else would find it. Someone should have their dreams come true. It just wasn’t going to be her.

Ian paced his little bungalow long after dark, something he couldn’t name gnawing at his gut and doing a damn good job of devouring him. Urges ravaged, and he tried—and failed—to walk them off.

He wanted to march over to Tessa’s place and…no, she wouldn’t want that.

So maybe he should jump on his bike and ride, but that would merely be running from his problems.

And, of course, there was always the bottom of a bottle of booze. But he hadn’t had more than a glass or two of wine in weeks, and not even scotch held its usual appeal.

He wandered into his kitchen, restless, one eye out the window, and caught the glimmer of a flashlight being carried through the garden. It was all he needed to see. He stepped out to his patio, checked Tessa’s very dark bungalow, then followed the light, staying a good distance behind.

It only took a few minutes to confirm that he was following Tessa, who moved like a ghost through the garden in a long, sheer dress that might have been a nightgown or a swimsuit cover-up.

Where was she going? To work in the garden? Not at two in the morning. To sit alone and cry? His chest squeezed at the thought of her shedding one more tear. Maybe to Lacey’s house for some girl talk? Some honest girl talk.

He wiped that possibility out of his head. She’d given him her word that she wouldn’t tell anyone his story, and that was good enough for him. At the edge of the Rockrose property, she turned and headed toward the beach. He followed, part of him curious, another part wanting to protect her in the dark.

But the biggest part wanted to be with her. The need ate at him, forcing him to slow his step and keep from running, calling, tackling, and kissing her until she couldn’t breathe.

No such need seemed to consume Tessa, who walked slowly along the beach, staying away from the water, flashlight pointed down, bending over occasionally.

She was shell hunting. Hadn’t she found her prize hours ago?

When she stopped and crouched down for a minute, he nearly caught up with her. The beach was black and bleak, and he needed to call her name so he didn’t scare the life out of her. But he took the time to watch her shadow, his mind whirring with possibilities.

He’d never told her about the epiphany he’d had in the Everglades. Because it seemed so wrong now to think she’d ever leave for him. After the way she’d discovered the truth, she probably wouldn’t believe him if he…

Her shoulders shook with a sob. Bloody hell, she was crying. “Tessa!”

She spun so fast she toppled right onto her backside with a soft gasp.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, slowing as he came closer.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I followed you,” he admitted. Good God, honesty felt great. That was what had ahold of him. Not only the need to be with her, but the chance to finally be honest about everything with her.

“Why?”

He didn’t answer right away, closing the space and slowly dropping down next to her. “I thought you found your special shell today.”

“I threw it in the water.”

He drew back. “Why?”

“Because I’m dumb. And now I’m trying to find it again, since the tide’s come and gone.”

“Why did you throw it in the water, Tess?”

“Because it…” She swiped her eyes and pushed her hair back, revealing her whole face in the ambient beam of the flashlight. “You want the truth?”

He laughed softly. “Honey, from this moment on, the truth is all we want. Can we make that one promise? Nothing but the truth, on any subject, with no wavering. Deal?”

She nodded. “I threw it away because it was a lie.”

He frowned, shaking his head. “How can a shell be a lie?”

“The dream it represented,” she said. “The fantasy, the possibility, the stupid game I’d played all these months telling myself if I found the right shell, then everything I’ve ever wanted would fall into my arms and I would be happy forever and ever, amen.” She gave a bitter laugh. “I was holding on to a lie.”

“So, why are you out here looking for it now?”

“’Cause I still want to find one, but now I want it for the right reasons.”

“To get your picture in the paper?”

She smiled. “You really do listen to me.”

“Every word.” He reached his hand to hers, but she gave him a wary look, and then put the flashlight in his open palm. “What are the right reasons?”

“Because…it’s rare. It’s special. It’s like…love.”

“And that doesn’t represent your dreams anymore, Tess?” He could barely stand to ask the question, because if he’d stolen that hope from her, he’d never forgive himself.