Let Love Heal

“Here. Let me get that, Bella.” Always the gentleman, my swoon-radar goes into full swing. I doubt there will ever be a time when what Bryan says or does will not have an effect on me.

With a wink and a nod, Bella retreats into her restaurant while saying, “You two have a good night.”

But a “good night” is the last thing I’ll have. Bryan was here on a date. With snarky accusations resting on the tip of my tongue, I stare up into the night sky and try to gather as much strength from the beauty that I see there as possible.

Turns out that it isn’t much.

Before the silence can descend upon us, I step to the side and offer up a lame smile. “I should get going.” I point in the direction of my small, but cozy home.

When I’m no more than a step past him, I hear the gravel crush under his feet as he turns toward my retreating back. “Melanie.” My name sounds more like a question as it tumbles off his soft lips. When he adds, “please,” right after my name, I stop dead in my tracks.

Unable to ignore the pained tone of his words, I turn to face him. Still unable to look in his eyes, I keep mine glued to the rocks and pebbles beneath me.

They’re suddenly very interesting.

Bryan’s shiny black dress shoes inch into view. For each step that I take backward, he takes another one forward. My head is a scrambled mess, and after seeing him here with another girl tonight, I just don’t know if I can be in such close proximity with him again.

His long fingers grasp my wrist as he pulls me into his space. With his other hand, he tips my chin up so that our eyes meet.

As his thumb gently traces the line of my jaw, I want to lean into it. I want to inhale the woodsy, clean scent of his cologne, but I know if I do, I’ll melt into a puddle of nothingness at his feet.

He doesn’t say anything at first. We just stand there – gazes locked, skin aflame, hearts pounding. As Bryan leans in to kiss me, his lips are so close that I can smell the cinnamon on his breath. My stomach flops both out of desire and of disgust.

Drawing on every ounce of strength I have come to find in myself over the last few months, I force myself to take a step back. “Bryan, I can’t. I mean you were just … we shouldn’t.” I sound like I’m chewing on my tongue – the words just don’t come out as easily as I want them to.

Stepping toward me once more, he extends his hand to my face and cups my cheek. “It wasn’t a date, Melanie.” For the second time tonight, my world spins slightly off its axis.

“But you two were … it looked like … I don’t get it.” So much for inner strength – or eloquence for that matter.

Lacing his fingers together with mine, he brings my knuckles up to his soft lips. “I know what it looked like, but it wasn’t.” He brushes our joined fingers across his stubble-roughened jawline and leans into my them as they move across his skin.

“But, Bryan …” My breathless words are lost in the cool autumn air.

Pulling our hands from his face and back to his lips once more, he plants one last gentle kiss on the palm of my hand before releasing it all together. “There are no buts. It wasn’t a date. Abbey is a new student in my grad-school program. She wanted me to show her around, and when she saw Bella’s, she insisted that we eat here. I had no idea that you worked here, but I should have known better when Bella laughed and wagged an eyebrow at me when I walked in.”

He tucks a rebellious strand of hair that is blowing wildly in the breeze behind my ear and lets his fingers tangle in the hair at my nape for more than a quick beat. Angling my head up to his, he cups my cheek with his other hand and whispers, “I miss you,” when he’s less than a centimeter from my lips.

When his mouth touches mine, time stops. He moves so slowly that I can almost feel every line and crevice on his plump lips. The heat of his kiss brands me; it sears through my soul and sets flight to a swarm of butterflies in my belly. His tongue lightly traces the crease of my sealed lips seeking permission to enter, but when I open my mouth to speak, to tell him that we need to talk, he takes it as an open invitation to make love to my mouth.

His tongue presses up against mine and tangles and weaves it magic; I’m lost to any kind of logical thought. Out of pure lust, I wrap my arms around his waist and pull his body flush against mine. With the cool chill in the air and the sweltering heat radiating between us, my nipples harden instantly. Feeling them rub up against his chest, even if it is through the layers of clothing that we’re wearing, forces a flood of moisture to pool in my panties.

With his lips still dancing erotically over mine, Bryan mumbles, “I want you. Please, let me have you.”

“I’m yours, Bryan. Only yours.” As our lips fuse together once more, all thoughts of the things I need to say, of the things he needs to know, simply vanish.

I don’t think either of us know how it happens, but in what feels like seconds we’re crashing through my front door, pulling and tearing at each other’s clothes. The girls may very well have been in the living room. I think I heard Cammie call out our names while Lia whistled loudly, but when I hear the soft click and turn of my bedroom lock, all other noise fades into the background. Our collective and ragged breaths are the only sound that remains.

Opening my mouth in an attempt to start explaining myself, to tell Bryan what didn’t happen with Tyler, proves to be a fruitless effort. Bryan inhales my exhale and his lips are sealed to mine.

Passion and desire take over rational thought as my body melts into his. We stumble backwards until my legs hit the bed. Needing to feel more of his skin against mine, I pull at his shirt until it’s freed from the waistband of his pants – in which his ass does look fantastic, by the way.

His abs ripple as he pulls his shirt over his head the rest of the way. As if his chest has some kind of magnetic pull, my fingertips are drawn to his skin. Tracing through the dusting of light brown hair that’s scattered across his chest, I trace the line of hair that descends down his stomach and under his belt. His breath hitches and my name tumbles out of his mouth on a garbled moan.

At a painstakingly slow pace, Bryan unbuttons my top. Instead of taking it off all the way, he surprises me when he leaves it and pulls at the button on my pants. I kick off my ugly black waitress shoes and shimmy out of my pants. Standing before him in my white lace bra and matching panties with the flaps of my white top billowing around me, I feel anything but virginal.

I feel renewed – like a fresh start might be within my grasp.

Embracing my new-found confidence and my wanton desire for the man standing before me, I slowly pull the shirt from my body. I release the clasp of my bra and drop it rather unceremoniously to the floor. An unsteady breath hisses through Bryan’s teeth. “Oh God, Melanie. You’re … beautiful.”

As Bryan starts raining down kisses on my lips, across my jaw, down my neck and to the upper swell of my breasts, my breathing becomes labored. Need spikes through my veins and threatens to consume me whole. All thoughts of talking disappear. We can do that after.

Wrapping one arm around my waist, Bryan lifts me slightly and places me on the bed. I prop myself up on my elbows so that I can watch him undress the rest of the way. When he steps out of his tight-fitting navy blue boxers, my mouth goes dry. All moisture is being sent south as my body pulses with need for his naked body.

A quick second later, Bryan has my panties off and on the floor with the rest of our clothes. We stare, wide-eyed and lust-filled, at each other for a moment, lost in the beauty of one another. As he lowers his body onto mine, I revel in the feel of his weight pushing me into the mattress. The need to lick and taste him overwhelms me and, as I devour his neck, I murmur, “I missed you so much. Please … I need …” My words evaporate into thin air as my hips begin to roll and gyrate on their own accord.

His large palm grips my waist to calm me. “Shh … we’ll get there. I just need to kiss every inch of you first.” When his kisses across my neck and chest turn into hot, wet, sucks and licks, my nipples pucker as if they’re reaching out to take part in the torture he’s unleashing on my skin. And what a beautiful torture it is. The flicking of his tongue on one diamond-hard tip partnered with rolling the other with his fingers, stokes the fire he’s already set low in my belly. I tangle my fingers in his silky, brown hair and hold him to my breast before pushing him further down my body.

When he stops at my belly button to plant a kiss there, I surprise myself by not trying to cover myself up. I know he finds me beautiful. It’s a knowledge I wish I had months ago, but at that point, I didn’t believe it about myself. Bryan gazes up at me both awestruck and proud of my newfound confidence.

I believe it now.