gold flecks around the pupils—staring into mine with the deepest love. He lifted an eyebrow. My own eyes widened. Could it possibly be…?
My heart skipped an unnatural rhythm as I swallowed the lump in my throat. I lifted my shaking hand, hesitated with the thought that this would kill me if I was wrong, and then finally reached for his face. I barely touched his cheek with my fingertips. Electricity sparked. My heart jumped. Tears sprang to my eyes. My whole body started trembling.
“Tristan?”
I barely caught his wide grin as he pulled me into his strong arms, pressing me against his hard body. My own body ached but I didn’t care. It felt unreal to be close to him again. To smell his scent, to feel his strength and warmth, to be in his arms when I thought I never would be again.
“Tristan, my sweet Tristan?” I cried, wanting to believe but still afraid to. Afraid demonic magic made me believe in this moment so they could rip him away again, a part of their torture for me. Or, worse, afraid I would wake up, completely alone, nothing changed, just another foggy morning.
“Yes, my love, I’m here now.” His lips found mine in a deep, loving kiss and they were so full and so soft. So gentle and lovely. So real. He wiped the tears from my face but they kept coming. “I’m here, ma lykita.”
Nothing had ever sounded so good to my ears. And I dared to allow myself to believe. I cried as I tried to kiss him all over while holding on to him as tightly as I could. He returned every one of my kisses, covering every inch of my face. The pieces of my heart fused back together with every kiss and it swelled so large, I felt sure my chest couldn’t contain it anymore. The emotions overwhelmed me and I sobbed in his arms as he held me.
“I can’t believe…it’s really you…I’m not hallucinating…I’m not dead?” I sputtered between tears and kisses.
“We’re together, my love. It’s real.”
A million questions raced through my mind, but I didn’t want to talk or think yet. I just wanted to hold him closely and savor the feeling of finally being together. I actually held him in my arms once again. I couldn’t let go of him, still afraid if I did, he would disappear.
I finally pulled back just enough to look into his face.
“It’s really you?”
He nodded. His beautiful, full lips pulled into a stunning grin. Oh, that exquisite smile I would have died to see again. His eyes held mine for several minutes, the gold sparkling brightly, the green like bright, shiny emeralds. I could see the love and happiness in their depths. Has he always been this damn gorgeous? I felt sure he had been. I remembered how he took my breath away, but he seemed just so unreal now. He looked like an angel…except for those scars.
My brows pushed together as I studied the scars, sadness overwhelming me. I traced each one with my fingertips—one curved down from his right temple to below his eye, another stretched across his left cheek, and a third cut across his chin. There were several smaller ones, too. Tears filled my eyes.
“What happened to you?” I whispered. “Where have you been? I’ve been so…so…”
I couldn’t say the words. So what? So desolate. So lost. So alone. So freakin’ insane.
His face darkened a shade. He put his finger to my lips.
“Shh…not now.” He closed his eyes and tightened his arms around me. “I just want to hold you now that I can. Feel your heart beat against me. Know you’re here and you’re okay. It feels so…amazing.”
“It feels like Heaven,” I whispered, laying my head against his chest.
“This has been my vision of Heaven for a long time,” he said. We lay in silence, staring at each other. I couldn’t keep my hands away from him—over his face, across his chest, along his hair to the ponytail behind his head—needing to physically touch him.
It really felt like Heaven on Earth. The depression, the anger, the insanity already felt like a distant memory now that I lay in his arms again. I hadn’t even realized how small and cold my heart had been until now. It swelled with love and warmed with happiness with every beat we lay there. He was my warmth and my light, chasing away Psycho and Foggy and possibly even Swirly.
“How do you feel?” he finally asked.
“Um, I don’t know. Tremendously happy doesn’t do it justice. I can’t even think of the right words. It’s too… big.”
He chuckled and kissed my forehead. “I completely understand. But I meant, how do you feel physically?”
“Oh.” I did a quick physical assessment. “Sore, if I move. And thirsty.”
He reached over me for a glass of water on the nightstand. I consumed every last drop of the refreshing liquid, the cool wetness feeling like a salve on my raw throat.
“I don’t feel too bad, considering. I think I had some broken ribs.”
“And probably a punctured lung. But you’re healing unusually fast.”
He looked at me with a strange expression. He narrowed his eyes as he searched my face.
“What?” I asked, feeling self-conscious. He’d probably been watching me sleep for some time, but I felt awkward as he looked at me like that. It had been so long to even have his eyes on me.
“Just thinking…” He seemed to change thought processes as his expression returned to nothing but love. “…how beautiful you are and how much I love you.”
He kissed me on the lips, the electricity charging between us. I returned the kiss with a deep hunger, not able to get enough of him.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I breathed, as more tears fell. “I just can’t believe it….”
I pulled myself into him, pressing as tightly as I could, kissing the scars on his cheeks and his chin and down his neck, burying my face in the crook between his neck and shoulder and inhaling deeply.
He stiffened and a low, quiet growl escaped from his throat. I looked up into his face. Flames burned in his eyes. I pulled back slowly, not wanting to do anything rash, not knowing what this meant. At one time, such a sound meant danger—that the monster within him fought for control, fighting to kill me. Our union supposedly squashed the monster, but… My heartbeat picked up pace. I thought he was my Tristan…but he’d also become somewhat of a stranger to me now.
“Tristan…?” I whispered hesitantly.
He blinked and focused on me, the fire controlled, and then closed his eyes and leaned back. He let out a heavy sigh.
“I’m so sorry,” he finally whispered. “I don’t know what they’ve done to me.”
“Shh…It’s okay,” I told him as much as myself. “We’ve been through this before. We can do it again.”
“I had nearly twenty years to prepare myself to be around you last time.”
“But you are still Amadis. And you know you have our love. You have my trust. That’s what it takes. We can do this.”
He cupped my face in his hand and looked at me with desperation in his eyes. “God, I love you, Alexis. I love you so much. I held onto you like a life rope. Only you—my love for you—could pull me through.”
My own sufferings suddenly felt insignificant. The excruciating pain I’d felt couldn’t possibly equate to all he’d gone through. I knew this even without knowing the story. I heard this truth in his voice. I saw it in the scars. My heart squeezed with love and guilt and compassion and grief. He’d endured so much—for us.
“I held on to the other end of the rope, pulling from here,” I whispered.
He stroked my cheek and brushed my hair back. “They told me so many different lies…you found someone else, they’d killed you, you’d killed yourself. But I just had to hang on anyway and if any of it were true, I would die at my own hand, not theirs.”
“Tristan…don’t ever say…” I shook my head. I told myself such talk didn’t matter because none of what they’d told him was true. “I never gave up on you. I never have and never will stop loving you. I am yours. You and me together forever. Nothing can change that.”
“You don’t know how good it is to hear that.”
He kissed me on the mouth again and our lips moved together with a desperate longing built over seven- and-a-half years. His tangy-sweetness filled my mouth and I didn’t think I could ever get enough of the delicious taste. My body wanted to melt into his and I needed to feel his skin next to mine. I tugged his shirt off and pressed tightly against him, kissing his shoulder and neck. I felt the scars on his back, rigid under my fingertips. My heart contracted again. He pulled away and rolled onto his back, sighing heavily.
