I turned onto my stomach so I could see his face, being careful, but the condition of my ribs had already improved. His eyes were closed and he breathed deeply for control. I studied his face, every inch, from the perfectly angled eyebrows and the long, dark lashes lying against his high cheekbones to the straight nose, full lips and square chin. Even with the scars, no creature on Earth was as beautiful as him.
And then I saw the mangled Amadis mark.
“Tristan! What did they do?”
Thick, nasty scars covered the whole left side of his chest, curving and twisting, as if snakes bored and tangled under his skin. I gingerly slid my fingertips along the gnarled ridges. Something about them made my stomach clench with the sick feeling of hatred and malevolence. He clasped his hand down on mine and held my palm against his chest.
“What did they not do?” he muttered, staring at the ceiling. “First, they tried torture, trying to force me to change my loyalty back to them. Physical torture, emotional, mental…they did all kinds of unimaginable things. But I refused. Nothing—no amount of pain or misery—could pull me away from you. Then they tried to bribe me with power and control over everything, over the world. When I still rejected them, they tried to kill me, using every technique possible. But they couldn’t do it. I refused to die at their hands. They finally decided cutting my heart out would be the only way to kill me.”
I gasped as my own heart nearly broke again and my stomach rolled with nausea. He continued staring at the ceiling, his hand still clamped on mine, over his heart, and the electric current flowed between us. I felt so helpless, wanting to do something for him.
“They couldn’t even take my heart, though,” he continued. “Regardless of what kind of instrument or weapon covered with a variety of poisons and spells they tried to use, the skin immediately healed up right behind it. Their dark magic left scars, but they couldn’t get any deeper than the skin.” He finally looked at me, his eyes moist and filled with a mixture of pain, appreciation and love. “See…you already had my heart.”
My free hand flew to my mouth as the breath caught in my throat. I stared at him wide-eyed, more tears falling.
He closed his eyes again and pressed my hand harder against his chest. “I can feel your power. It feels good.”
I collapsed against him and cried into his chest. How could I have been so angry and selfish?
“I’m so sorry,” I wailed between sobs.
“Sorry? You saved me, Alexis. You protected me.” He tried to pull me closer but I resisted, shifting so I could look him in the eye.
“I behaved horribly. Really, really horribly,” I admitted. “I felt such anger toward you for leaving me, never really thinking about what you may have been going through. I only knew my own pain and it was nothing…nothing compared to…to…”
I choked on the thought of what he’d endured and buried my face back into his chest, wishing I could crawl into some dark hole and never have to show my face again. Or to be pummeled with stones or tarred and feathered or lashed with a vine whip. I deserved to be tortured by all means possible and still everything combined wouldn’t compare to what he’d gone through.
“I honestly hope it wasn’t ‘nothing.’ I hoped you missed me at least half as much as I missed you. I hung onto that hope.” He kissed the top of my head as I continued crying into his chest. “I’m just sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner. I know seven years is a long time for you. You had every right to hurt and feel angry.”
“I did miss you so much. And it was so long,” I blubbered. “I even thought I started to forget your face, my memory fading, and with everything else going on, I thought I was losing my mind. I tried so hard to hang on to you, I started hallucinating that I saw you and heard you.”
He shifted under me. “Mmm. You mean recently?”
I stopped crying. “Yeah. Why?”
“You weren’t hallucinating, my love.”
I inhaled sharply as my head snapped up. My eyes narrowed. “That was you? In the backyard, at the park, in Key West?”
He nodded. I didn’t know whether to be grateful that I hadn’t been quite as crazy as I’d thought or angry that he’d been back for over a week, letting my insanity get the best of me. If I hadn’t been so happy to be in his arms again, anger would have definitely won.
“Why would you do that to me?” I breathed, pushing away from him. “How could you be here for so long and not come to me? Why would you let me go through all that?”
“Please don’t be angry.” He pulled me back into his arms. I let him, wanting to release the bitterness and animosity for good. “Trust me, it wasn’t easy. I wanted to go straight to you and finally hold you. But I had to test myself all over again. I’m still not sure what their magic may have done to my subconscious. Seven years doesn’t feel as long to me, so I could wait a few more days. Ensuring I had control was worth the delay. Unbearable but necessary.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have let you see me, but sometimes I just couldn’t bring myself to flash. I wanted you to run to me, into my arms. And then you gave me a real scare the other morning in Key West. They watched too closely, or I would have just taken you then.”
“That Daemoni who chased me…,” I whispered.
“I distracted him away from you. He was weak and my presence was enough to scare him away. He may have known Owen approached, too. As soon as I sensed Owen coming and knew you’d be okay, I took off, still not sure if I was ready yet.”
“So…do you want to kill me?” I whispered.
“I don’t. But, I don’t know what’s inside, what they’ve done. We’ll need to be careful again.”
The corners of his lips tugged in a sad smile and my shoulders sank with disappointment. We’d fought and won this battle so many years ago, but it had taken much time and patience.
“Do you want to kill me?” he asked.
I looked up at him in surprise. “What? Why would I want to do that?”
“I can feel the power building in you.” He placed my hand back over his heart.
“I would never want to kill you. Amadis love. We save, not kill.”
“You don’t know what that power will make you want to do. And we won’t know until you change over and have received the full force.” He studied my face and lifted my hair away from my shoulder, twirling a lock around his finger. “And I know you’re changing, Lex. I can see it. You look completely different than you did a week ago.”
I groaned. “I can’t believe you saw me like that.”
“You’d been through a lot, my love. And you were incredibly beautiful to me.” He smiled and winked. I’d forgotten the brain-fog that blanketed my mind when he winked and I welcomed it, gazing at him stupidly. He laughed. “I missed that look.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You like it when I look like an idiot?”
He laughed again. I loved the sound. “You don’t look like an idiot. You get this look like you adore me, like I’m the only person in your world. And I love that.”
“Really? Well, I do adore you.” I kissed him. And I couldn’t control myself. I wanted him so badly. Needed him. And I needed to show him how much I missed him. How much I loved him and wanted him. How happy I felt to have him back. Kissing just wasn’t enough to communicate all of my emotions. I needed to feel him, every inch of him, inside and out. My hands locked against his face as my body ground against his.
“Slow and careful,” he murmured, pulling my hands from his face and gently pushing me back. The fire in his eyes looked controlled. I knew the look. Whatever happened to him over the years, he was my Tristan and he still loved me. I trusted he wouldn’t do anything to me.
“You underestimate yourself,” I muttered.
“Maybe. But I’m not taking any chances.”
“I’m stronger now. And if you hurt me, I’ll just heal.”
“You know it’s not about just hurting you. We know we can handle that. Remember?” The gold flecks in his eyes sparkled as he remembered our honeymoon and our few times together. We’d both had bruises from the supernatural force of our passion, even in the beginning, when I was relatively normal. I couldn’t help but smile. And want him even more.
“I was ready to die last night anyway,” I said with a shrug. “At least now it’d be while making love to you
