Wild Darkness

second battle over three hundred of my men died because we were ambushed.”

Her mouth softened and she moved forward to press a kiss to his forehead. “I’m so sorry. Oh my goddess.”

Again, she knew what he needed. Stopped her own worry to comfort him. She couldn’t deny what they were to each other any longer. But first he had to finish making his point.

“No one dreamed he would do such a thing. He was my cousin. I’d grown up with him. His father is my uncle. But he wanted more, and unbeknownst to my uncle and my family, my cousin had been giving information to our enemy in exchange for the promise to be able to run Leviathan once we were defeated.”

Her lip curled and he loved her more for it. Such a thing would be utterly unthinkable for her. But it wasn’t for others and he said so.

“You know your path. You are righteous and would give up your very life to protect those you’re sworn to. But not everyone else is. You can only do so much, remain vigilant but also understand that sometimes people do things that are heinous and senseless. I can’t let you take responsibility for this situation in Indio. You made a choice. One I would have made, as it happens. Someone you trusted betrayed you. But the Magister? Even if those witches had been in your living room they might have disappeared. We know that. All you can do is to move on.”

“I can’t afford you,” she whispered.

“It’s too late for all that. I should also tell you that Tila is my mother, I’m half demon. They imprint on mates as well. You’re it for me. I know this with all my being. Tell me you don’t know the truth of what’s between us. Go on. I dare you. There are things we sometimes can’t explain but we know they’re true anyway. You are mine. I am yours. You can’t deny it. You’re too honest for that.”

Helena knew she should lie. Should push him back and insist he give her time and some space. He might even do it. But what she really wanted, so much it scared her, was to believe in what he said. To let herself believe that connection she did feel between them.

There was no one in the world who was anything like Faine. No one she trusted the same way. But.

“What about Lydia? You were married. Lark said that her life span was altered, would be far longer now that she took the bond with Simon. What happened with her?”

“I loved her. Very much. But she was not my Ne’est. This thing between us—the thing Seymeon and Lark have—it’s forever. There are many kinds of love. Surely you know this. What I felt for her was deep. And she’s someone I’m glad to have had in my life. I miss her even to this day. But you? I need you like I need to breathe. You’re who I think about when I open my eyes in the morning. I not only can imagine you in my life a hundred years from now, I want to. I knew there was another level of love. I see it with my parents. I see it with Simon and Lark. I feel it now. I understand it now. Are you afraid you don’t love me that deeply? Or are you afraid you aren’t worthy of such a gift? Be honest now.”

Why did he have to be so freaking in tune with her? He was so raw, so emotionally truthful with her that it made it impossible to evade his questions. “I’m freaked the fuck out that I’ll let you down.”

He kissed her and she wrapped herself around him, holding on tight, reveling in the feel of his body against hers.

He lifted her, taking her to the bed and putting her down carefully. “It’s okay to be worried about that. I worry about that too. If we weren’t worried, if we took it for granted, our bond would be meaningless, right?”

“I’m bad at this.”

He shook his head. “I already told you that boy you were engaged to isn’t the same. Tell me truly, Helena. Did you ever feel for him the way you feel for me now?”

“Not a fair comparison. You’re a man. You’re big and braw. So sexy it gives me butterflies and makes me think about sex at the most inopportune times like while I’m driving or in a meeting. You distract me and make me laugh. You fight so well I want to start a fan club and make you teach me everything you know so I can be better. Though, you also make me want to give you a chop to the throat to shut you up.”

He laughed. “So much flattery.”

“I did punch him. My ex, I mean. Right in his mouth when he called Lark a stupid whore. Imagine that! But while I was sad that our engagement was over, it was more that I was angry at myself for failing. And embarrassed that everyone knew it. He never gave me butterflies. I never thought, Faine will know how to deal with this. Well, obviously with his name instead of yours. I never counted on him. I’m older. Hell, it feels like the Magister aged us all at least ten years. But you’re four hundred years old and you’ve been married and you have so much more experience at everything than I do and I don’t know if I can be as good at this as you are.”

He laid next to her, pulling her closer and she went. “I’m as new as you are at this sort of love. We’ll have to make it through and trust each other. Will you then? Admit you’re my Ne’est and go through the binding with me?”

“One step at a time. How about yes, I admit that what this is between us is deep and strong and whatever you want to call it. The binding part can come in a bit. I need to get used to it. I’m a control-freak planner. I need to know exactly what it is and what it means. I haven’t even met your parents yet. My dad thinks you’re too old for me.”

He laughed. “I am. But too bad. He’ll have to accept me. I’m nicer than Simon and he gave them his blessing on their binding.”

“Fathers are not always rational when it comes to daughters.”

“I suppose I’ll find out one day. But for now, we should practice.”

He stole her breath as he grabbed the front of her blouse and pulled it apart. Buttons went flying and she couldn’t find any energy to be mad that he’d destroyed a favorite shirt.

He bent his head and pressed a kiss against the curve of her breast, over her heart. He was hot, radiating waves of warmth against her bare skin.

She managed to drag in a breath. “Is that why you’re always so hot then?”

“Mmm?” He traced the edge of her bra with his tongue and she nearly forgot her question.

“Your demon half. Is that why you’re so hot?”

“Ah. Yes. In part. Lycians already run a great deal warmer than humans do. When I’m . . . excited, I get even hotter.”

She managed to lever her legs and get on top of him, straddling his body with hers. “I noticed you were warm. You know, when we were together yesterday.” Had it only been a day? So much had changed. “Lark mentioned Simon’s skin was warm, I just figured it was . . . well. Anyway.”

“Are you going to share details of our sex life with your sister?” Nimble fingers parted her with her bra.

“Maybe. We’re very competitive. Only the good stuff, of course.”

He flipped her to her back and stripped her pants, weapons, socks and underwear from her body in record time. She lay there totally naked, nearly panting as he looked down at her with so much naked hunger in his gaze it sent a shiver through her.

“It’s not all good stuff? I must be falling down on the job.” He said it in a low growl of sound that crawled along her skin like a rough caress.

“So far the only bad thing is that I’m naked and you aren’t.”

In a flurry of movement he got rid of his clothes and dived back to the bed, making her laugh.

“How’s my scorecard now?” He licked over her left nipple.

“All tens.”

He laughed, kissing his way over to her right nipple. “Yes, all tens indeed.”

She pushed his shoulders. “I want you on your back.”

He gave her a raised brow. “Is that so?”

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

He rolled, bringing her with him.

“I have no doubt you’ll make it worth my while. You’re infuriating in your ability to get yourself into trouble in every way imaginable, but you’re perfect in my bed. However you’re in it.”

“Man, you’re good with the compliments.” She bent and whipped her hair against his chest, loving the way he groaned as she dragged it across his skin. She kissed a trail over all his marks. Over his ink and his scars. Over