Dead Over Heels

home on the mainland and give them the coordinates of this island.”

“That’s—thanks.”

“Our people must learn to get along,” Jertan said carelessly. “Reanesta, may I be of further assistance?”

“No, Jertan,” she said colorlessly. “It was kind of you to come.”

“Courtesy to my folk is no kindness. I am going now,” he said, and without another word turned and walked back into the surf.

“You guys really aren’t into saying good-bye, are you?” he asked, watching the guy disappear into the waves.

Ree shrugged.

“Well!” he boomed with false cheer. “You’ll be rid of me in a few days. That should be a load off your mind.”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Pretty soon you’ll be free, and I’ll be back on TV.”

“Yes.”

Then why did he have such a sick feeling in his stomach, and why did she look so strange?

Chapter 16

The rescue boat showed up three days later. Reanesta watched it, wondering if she might vomit. Could she be carrying Con’s pup? She’d been ill the last few mornings, but it was too soon to tell— and frankly, just the thought of Con disappearing forever was enough to make her feel ill. And she would fight a thousand great whites before trying to keep him on the island when he so obviously wanted to get back to his life. His show.

His stupid, silly survivor show. Survivor! Ha!

Con was waving madly, having hurriedly dressed in his shorts and shirt. The large boat honked twice in response, anchored, and then she could see men preparing to lower a smaller boat into the water.

“I don’t want them to see me,” she told him quietly. “I will leave now.”

“Wha—now? Now now? But I wanted to introduce you to my crew!”

“I,” she replied, “do not wish to see them.”

“Oh.” He rubbed his jaw, which was sporting a reddish brown beard after all this time. “Like that, huh? Done with your little pet project, now?”

She didn’t know what he was talking about. He was the one who couldn’t wait to leave. “I will not be back,” she said, and turned to leave.

“Wait!” he snarled, snatching her elbow. She coolly considered breaking his wrist and decided that would be unusually—what was the word? Bitchy. “Jeez, you just can’t wait to get out of here, can you? I gave you the chance last week! You said you wanted to stay with me.”

“And you,” she said coldly, “love your show more than you love any living creature.” Couldn’t he see her pride? Didn’t he understand she couldn’t ask him to give up his life to stay with her? “Now remove your hand, before I remove your lungs.”

He let go of her like she was hot. “Fine,” he snapped. “Thanks for saving my life and for all the sex.”

“You are most welcome,” she replied icily and walked around to the far end of the island where the small boat couldn’t see her, and when she hit the water it was a great relief because the salt water nicely camouflaged her tears.

Chapter 17

Con! Babe! We’re all set to start shooting for sweeps. Your comeback is going to be the lead for the week. We’ve already sold all the ad time,” Alan, his producer, burbled.

“Super.”

“Con! Babe! You’ve been moping ever since we picked you up off of that godforsaken island.”

“Don’t call it that,” he snapped. “It was a very nice island.”

“Con! Babe! What is your damage? Although thank heavens you finally shaved; that mountain man look was just too awful.”

“Nothin’,” he muttered. They were lounging in his trailer, it was six days later, and he was belatedly realizing that leaving Ree behind was the biggest fucking mistake he had ever made—and that included getting his sorry self shipwrecked in the first place. “Got a lot on my mind.”

“I can imagine. After your dreadful experience, which of course we’ll re-create so you can show the audience how you survived—”

He sat bolt upright, and Alan’s watery blue eyes, magnified behind the glasses he affected to make him look older than his twenty-six years, widened. “That’s just it, Alan. I didn’t survive. I mean, I did, but only because a mermaid helped me.”

“A”—Alan goggled—“a real live mermaid? One of those Undersea Folk they’re talking about on CNN?”

“Yeah. Her name was Ree and she saved my life about nine times. Towed me to that island where you found me. Telepathically called for help and this guy named Jertan came to the rescue, which is how you heard where I was. She did everything for me. And I—I just left her there.” He buried his face in his hands. “I left her.”

Alan’s hand was on his shoulder. “It sounds like you two got kind of close.”

“I sort of fell in love with her,” he said hollowly, “when she bit the hammerhead.”

“When she did what? Never mind. Let’s find her!”

“Find her?” Alan’s enthusiasm could be exhausting. “She’s long gone. She lives all over the world, all by herself. And the ocean’s a big damn place.”

“We’ll use the show,” Alan said excitedly, actually jumping from one foot to the other. His blond hair fell into his eyes and he shook it back. “Every show, you’ll open by talking about—Ree, was it?—by talking about her and asking people to help you find her. Cripes, the guy she called for help—maybe he watches the show!”

“He did know who I was,” Con said thoughtfully. “I didn’t even get a chance to introduce myself.”

“There you go!”

Con felt cautious optimism. “It’s worth a shot.”

“Great! I’ll go tell the writers to redo the opening.”

“Oh, they’ll love that.”

“They will obey or be killed,” Alan said cheerfully, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “You watch. This will work.”

Chapter 18

This is Con ‘Bad Baby’ Conlinson and yup, I’m back. I’m just like you . . . only I’m on TV. I’ve gotten really close to the summit of Everest, spent the night in the Everglades (Motel™), faced down numerous angry dogs and cats, gotten thrown out of no less than seven—seven—bars, surfed the insanity of Lake Ontario, stayed dry in Seattle, and been audited twice.

“And now I’m back after being shipwrecked for a couple of weeks, and I’ll show you how to survive like I did. But first, I need you to bear with me ’cuz I’ve got some personal business to clear up.

“I want to tell Ree that I love her and I’m sorry I left and I want to marry her if she’ll only agree to live with